April 7, '86: Ain't Water Under The Bridge: Fabian

[Kyra Thatcher]

Every moment that passed, every word that he spoke, made holding onto herself more and more impossible. But, breathing ragged, body wanting to collapse in on itself, she forced herself to listen. Because Phoebe and her family hadn’t disappeared. They weren’t coming back. They had been murdered. Five years ago. She had known. Fabian had taken the memories and left to - to kill those who were responsible. Part of taking the memories must have been because he didn’t have faith in his return. And without him to grieve with…I still have Liz. I would’ve had Roderick and Amelia, we could’ve gone through this together. The other Bones had been like siblings, and she’d felt that their distance in recent years had been natural. But the awkwardness between them had to be because of this. How could they have an authentic relationship if she didn’t know their brother was dead?

Azkaban was a prison, presumably, and at least the murderers had been given life sentences. But to hear this edge in Fabian’s voice, this need to kill the ones who’d killed their family…Were you always capable of that? Or did the war change you into…this? Even knowing some of the conditions surrounding Phoebe’s family’s deaths, Kyra didn’t know if she had it in her to be out for blood. Justice? Wholeheartedly. And the lives of these people were being taken away, if this wizarding prison was anything like those in her world.

"If you didn’t want to hurt me, you wouldn’t’ve left," she said, unapologetic in her sharpness. "We could’ve handled this together. Other soldiers could’ve gone after them - d’you think Ed would’ve wanted you and Gid risking yourselves - " Kyra cut herself off, wiping at her eyes with a shaking hand. There was something she needed to make sure of. Something needling at her, because maybe, maybe this wasn’t fully on him. "When you said you were leaving, that you might not come back, did - did I ask you for this?"

[Fabian Prewett]

Telling Kyra the truth (for what was the last time, he could only hope) was bringing him back to the day everything had happened. The emotions he had felt seeing the Dark Mark in the sky above the Bones house were bubbling to the surface, threatening to spill over as they had the moment he’d stepped foot in his own flat after. He and Gideon had been the first ones on the scene, in the house within seconds when they saw what was floating in the sky.

Because while Phoebe had been like another sister to Kyra, Edgar had been his brother. The third to their group, so full of hope that he could help make the world a better place. They all had been so full of hope back when they joined the Order, determined to change the world. And they had changed the world, just not in the ways they were expecting. The death of an entire family so loved by many had been a catalyst that had fueled the desire to end the war. It had only been a few months later that James and Lily Potter had ended it all.

But nothing that he had done could ever bring them back. The Lestranges, the Carrows - they weren’t getting what they deserved. There was no justice behind Azkaban, not with people to twisted to be affected by the Dementors. As long as they lived, their ideas lived as well. And there were plenty of Death Eaters not behind bars, enough that he still often wondered if his world was truly safe.

He looked up at her words, the sharpness behind them all too clear. They’d fought about magic and memories more times than he could even remember, but this was new territory. And when it came to the discussion of emotions, neither he or Kyra had been great at it. He let silence fall between them after her question, before he slowly stood and took his wand.

“No, you didn’t ask me to,” he said before he looked to her, trying to calm himself before he said more. “Edgar is-was my brother, and Phoebe,” his voice caught in his throat, the words unable to surface. She hadn’t wanted to live without Edgar and the kids, she had pleaded with him. “I watched her die and I couldn’t do a damn thing. So I don’t care what you think I should have done differently, I did what I had to do to keep anyone else from dying. And I get that what I did to you - taking your memories and leaving - that wasn’t fair. But I didn’t know what else to do.”

He gripped his wand, taking a few breaths to calm himself down before the sound of shuffling in the hallway caught his attention. Griffin. It was with a quick motion that he pocketed his wand, clearing his throat uncomfortably as he jerked his head towards the hall.

[Kyra Thatcher]

Fabian took his time in facing her, and in the moment she saw the toll that this conversation was taking on him. While the news was fresh to her, his wounds - no doubt not fully healed, would any of them ever recover from such a tragedy? - were being torn open anew. And while she wanted to empathize, Kyra found that she couldn’t. He made the choice to take her memories of the truth. He made the choice to stay away from her, even after the success of his and Gideon’s mission. In coming up to her today, he must have known this would come out before long. Because he couldn’t have expected her to hold onto questions about her best friend and her family…That’s why he’s kept distance all this time. Has to be.

She pushed herself into standing as he did, tear-filled eyes looking upon him with unmasked fear for the first time as she saw the wand in his hand, as Fabian admitted acting without her consent. There were reasons for his actions, there had to be, but the way he had violated her trust - many times and without her knowledge - and hidden something so central to the fabric of her life… I wanted you in Griffin’s life. I hoped you’d come back. But I can’t trust you, not if that was what your instinct told you to do to me. Kyra’s features hardened, anger overcoming shock as he spoke like a damn stranger. You don’t care that I have opinions about what should’ve happened after our family died?

"Good God, Fabian," she breathed, keeping a wary distance and an eye to his wand. I used to feel safe around you. You and Gid and Ed, our overprotective watchdog coppers. The aftermath could have been handled in so many ways, and she was sure she’d suggested them in the time. But he’d made the call, overstepping in a means she hadn’t known to be possible, shattering everything they could have been. She knew that he could’ve lied now, whether upholding the fabrication of Phoebe and Edgar’s life or in saying she’d asked to be relieved of the torturous memories he was reliving. Thankful for the truth, at the very least, at long last. She took a moment, wiped her eyes, pushed her hair behind her ears, trying to come to terms with not only the horrible truth of their family, but the disappointing truth of someone she’d once trusted. "I know I’m no soldier," Kyra began, struggling for speech when all she wanted was to let herself sob, "but

I haven’t been faced with some of the choices you have - but what happened to you?" She didn't expect an answer, and didn't expect to have to explain her wavering request as she gave a quick nod to his hand. "Put that away." Catching Fabian's silent nod to the hall that followed, her own labored breathing quieted as she turned in time to spy her son. Griffin was no fool and could read a room, and had likely overheard some things she should've been cautious about...Knowing she couldn't give convincing happy, Kyra strove for neutral as he approached.

"Why are you fighting? I thought we liked him. Mummy, you're crying, what happened?"

"I'm sorry we woke you, Griff - everything is going to be fine. Fabian was just leaving," she said pointedly with a look to him. "We are not done here. Leave a number, an address, some way to find you." With that she gestured to paper scraps on the coffeetable - leftovers from a crafting adventure with her son - went to gather the little boy in her arms.

[Fabian Prewett]

He knew when the silence fell between him there was no taking back what he had just done. He was harsh - reacting in anger when he shouldn’t have. Her words to him hung in the air between them, the question a valid one he didn’t know the answer to. What happened to you? There were so many answers to that question. The war had happened, Edgar and Phoebe’s death had happened. He’d been a part of the war for so long, his life without it was struggling to make sense. It had taken him years to sleep again when things had finally ended, and the nightmares of things he’d seen still haunted him.

There wasn’t a chance to answer though, not with the sounds of their her son coming down the hall towards them. His heart broke as Griffin spoke, breaking even further as Kyra addressed him. The last thing he wanted to do right now was leave, but fighting in front of the boy was something he wasn’t going to do. He gathered a piece of paper and the nearest crayon he could find, scrawling his address down quickly. He turned to look at the two of them, fighting back his own tears. “Molly and Arthur still live out in Ottery St. Catchpole, I’ll be there for the next couple of days if you need me.”

Without a glance back, Fabian made his way to the door and let himself out, vanishing shortly after with a loud crack.