April 11: I Ain't Done Much Healing: Fabs/Weasleys

[Kyra Thatcher]

▶︎ there's such a difference between us, and a million miles...

As she worked up the nerve to knock on the Weasley's door, even as she knew little eyes were probably watching her since her car was anything but subtle, Kyra still didn't think this was the wisest move. But she felt too trapped in the predicament to find another solution. She needed to prioritize her son, as she had since finding out about him. Above all else, she had to do what was best for Griffin. Above all else - above grieving for Phoebe and Ed and Gray and Elle and Cami? How can you trust him after he forcibly kept all of that from you? But there were things for her son that Fabian brought to the table that she needed; he was a wizard, Griffin was too. No matter how much she could try to be both mother and father, she couldn't add in guide-to-the-magical-world, seeing as all but one of the experiences she'd had in that world had been removed from memory. By the father of your child...this is a mistake.

She gave the door a knock, and a tiny little girl with her short red hair done up in spiky pigtails opened it nearly instantly. Ginny, Jesus - it's been this long? "Hi there, I'm a...friend of your uncle's. Is he around?"

"Which one?" the girl asked shrewdly, only her head poking out, although she saw shadows of a few more tinies behind her. 

"Fabian. Yeah tall," Kyra gestured high above her head, "hair not as great as yours, talks like this." She gave a poor imitation to tease a laugh out of the girl, who threw back her head to call for her uncle before opening the door for her. Kyra stepped inside the busy kitchen, a few of the young Weasley boys smiling sheepishly - or in the case of the twins, with a way too familiar mischief - as she did.

"Are you here to cheer him up?" one of them asked cheekily as she nervously watched the steps.

"Shut it!" urged another. Kyra let them squabble, let them wonder, because she wasn't sure if she would be bringing him much joy. She had it in mind to offer him a place in their lives, and she'd come clean to Griffin about much of the discussion on that night. But...they weren't about to be a happy little family, not when he'd betrayed her as he had.

[Fabian Prewett]

It was a tight fit in the Weasley house, but being here for the past four days had been good for him. He hadn’t been around the kids enough, and having the time to spend with them while his older nephews were home from Hogwarts for the holiday had been grand. He’d gotten in some good Quidditch time in with them, heard all about a girl Bill fancied, and it had been a good distraction from the fact he might not even get to see Kyra or his son again - although he had guaranteed their safety the day he’d learned about Griffin. But even with the whole Weasley clan to keep him company, he hadn’t been able to hide the fact that something was wrong. The kids were plenty aware that he’d been in a fight with their father, but that it was more than that occupying the mind of their uncle. It was the sound of a car that got his attention, and he peered out the window to see Kyra stepping out of a car.

Are you ready for this?

        She might not even be here to see you.

He had to at least see her while she was here, even if only for a second. Since the vow he’d made Alecto, he’d elected to wear the ring that usually hung around his neck on his hand, a fools hope that maybe he’d get the chance to explain everything to her one day. And when he heard his name being called by Ginny. You can do this. Running a hand through his hair, Fabian took a few deep breaths before he headed down the stairs into the kitchen, not surprised to find the younger Weasley children whispering and staring at her. “The garden could use de-gnoming,” he said with a nod to the door, looking pointedly at the oldest kids of the bunch. Percy was taking his duty seriously and ushering his siblings away.

He crossed his arms across his chest, unsure of what to say now that the moment was here. “I’m glad you came by,” he said quietly, wondering if she’d gotten a chance to take in the magic happening around her. “Can I get you anything? Water, whiskey?”

[Kyra Thatcher]

In the brief quiet between Ginny’s shout for her uncle and his footfalls on the central staircase, Kyra felt the eyes of the children on her but didn’t give them much attention. Had this been a normal social call she would’ve made sure to make more of an effort to connect, but there was too much on her mind - and too much to take in from the room - to make focusing possible. Because the kitchen was alive; from the socks darning themselves in the air over the radio, toes kicking to the voice unfamiliar to her muggle ears, to the corn shearing itself over the bin and the dustpan collecting any stray scraps, magic was abundant and obvious as the rueful wonder on her face. This is what we could’ve had, hmm? How great were the lengths, really, that those she’d known had gone to in order to keep their world from her? This was hardly her first visit to this house. And the Prewetts’ apartment? Phoebe’s home?...all to keep you from meeting the same fate she did.

In the last few days, Kyra hadn’t been herself. She felt for her son, knowing he could tell she was bothered, but these weren’t revelations she could yet share with the boy. Her closest friend and her family had been murdered by dark wizards. Oh, because magic is real, by-the-by, and you’ve got it Griff. Fabian was, without a doubt, her son’s father, and had taken the truth of her memories from her. Griffin was a wizard and would go off to that wizard school Fabs and the Bones’ attended. And you’ve yet to figure out just how much you want him around. Kyra felt that Fabian would be as involved as she’d allow him to be, even if such hadn’t been explicitly expressed on Griffin’s birthday. But with how little she could trust him…this was a mistake.

It was too late to disappear, though, because Fabian was in the room and sending the children out before she could ask their help in magicking herself away. She swallowed, giving a shake of her head once the room cleared and he started offering this or that, digging her hands into the pockets of her light corduroy jacket. The discomfort in her gut that had settled as soon as she’d gotten out of London only intensified upon seeing him, as did her unease. What are you doing here, Kiki? Should just cut him out. Have Molly and Arthur fill in the blanks about magic, or something... "Was thinking we could go for a walk," she suggested instead, nodding towards the door. Besides it being a pleasant day, Kyra figured they’d have less risk of prying eyes and ears out in the rolling hills of Devon than if they stayed on the property. At his agreement, Kyra headed outside, giving a little wave to the children who really were off to find gnomes in their garden. "Thought I saw a path by the drive," she mused, finding the path in the long grass soon enough. Kyra kept quiet, putting some distance between them and the teetering house, before speaking up, keeping her eyes ahead.

"I don’t know if I should even be here," she admitted frankly. "But I keep running through it all, over and over, and it's pointless, because I don't know what's right in here." She gave her head a light knock before continuing, admittedly a tad bitterly, "You’re the only one who knows the whole story anymore." Kyra took a few more steps before pausing, turning to look at him, the breeze taking up her short hair. "I want my memories back, Fabian. Before I can get a handle on anything else, I need that. Is that even possible?"

[Fabian Prewett]

It was odd, having Kyra at the house with it being so alive. The Weasley's house was full of magic at most times, any traces hidden in the past when the blonde woman standing in the kitchen had come by. He wasn't sure if his niece and nephew even realized that Kyra was a muggle, the young ones much too young to remember the last time she had been around. The first time she'd ever set foot in this house Bill had been a baby, and in the next few years his oldest nephew would be out on his own. A lifetime had passed them both by, before Fabian had even realized it.

He nodded as she suggested a walk, hands deep in his pockets as he followed her out of the kitchen. Percy was shooing the rest of the children to the garden - although it was obvious they'd lingered outside the door for a bit after being sent off. While they had figured out something was up with him, and probably had their own suspicions about things, it was best to talk away from them. "Should be one, yeah," he answered her quietly as she mentioned a path, fingers toying with the rings that he'd been keeping in his pockets since he'd seen Alecto. Kyra needed to know everything, at least what he could tell her without his own life ending. Their wedding rings would be a good place to start, and he had to wonder if she'd caught sight of the ring he'd returned to his finger after the Unbreakable Vow.

Fabian wasn't sure how far they had walked before she spoke up again, and her words hurt. But how could he blame her, after everything he had done to her? Years of altered memories weren't going to be easy to forgive, even if at the time he'd felt what he was doing was right. And what he had done had spared her life, even if she didn't know that. It was not surprising that she was asking for her memories back, and he gave a nod after her question before he spoke. "I never erased anything, just...altered. I should be able to fix everything except, well. There was one memory that was erased, done by people from the Ministry. Arthur knows more about that night than I do, and he's just as mad at me about all of this. Can't be frustrated at either of you for being upset with me." The words came from his mouth quickly, nerves getting the best of him. This could be his only chance to repair things, but it was uncharted territory for him. Phoebe and Edgar had always been the people he'd gone to when things got serious with Kyra, bouncing ideas off his two friends on how to handle anything new. Even five years later he had no clue had to live his life without them, regardless of how much he tried.

"It won't be a flood of memories, I couldn't even tell you everything to look for," he finally spoke again, eyes finally finding hers instead of staring into the grass. He pulled his hand from the pocket, holding out the rings to her, "Before I do though, I want you to have these. They're yours, anyway. Can do what you want with them, but I've held onto them long enough. Might at least help with some of the memories."

[Kyra Thatcher]

No matter what you learn today, keep your head, Kyra instructed herself as they struck off onto the footpath. You're not going to get anywhere with this if you fly off the handle again. The other night, once they'd been alone, some regrettable words had passed between them, unfortunate spawn of heightened emotions and long-felt hurt. And while she wasn't certain of the level of partnership that they could hope to regain with time, they had to be civil, for Griffin's sake and for their own. This was easier said than done, seeing as there was much left to re-learn about their past, and that she was feeling the fresh hurt of Phoebe and family's loss. But Kyra knew Griff needed him. He needed his father in some capacity. You've always thought people could change. If what he's said is true, everything he's done has been to keep you from harm. He may've been misguided, but he didn't want you hurt. If you can believe that...can you forgive him? Eventually?

If nothing else, Fabian knew better than to try and argue with her today. She looked up at him, a flicker of hope in her eyes and in her heart, as he rapidly agreed to help put her memories back to rights, words tumbling over each other in their haste. But her eyes had to narrow as he brought up one memory he couldn't fix, and that Arthur knew more about it than he did, and was pissed at him too. "All right...if he's around I'd like to speak with him later, then." She chose to stay silent on the fact that both his brother-in-law and she were upset with him, as Fabian obviously didn't need the reminder. We can do this. Be civil. Not entirely sure what was needed from her, if anything, for the memories to be restored, Kyra listened with interest as he too admitted his unfamiliarity. But he wasn't taking out his wand, immediately setting things to rights. Instead he held his hand out to her. A hand holding a coordinated set of rings. Curiosity piqued and heart starting to race, Kyra gingerly took them from him.

It was only then that she saw the ring on his finger.

"Fabian, what..." 

Seeing as they were hers, evidently, Kyra had to try them for size. As if wanting to go against her wishes - This can't be happening. - they slid smoothly onto her ring finger like they'd always belonged there. Mind awhirl, Kyra forced a long breath in through her nose and out through her mouth, unable to not admire the look of it. Moonstone, her favorite gem, known for its protective nature, its ability to endow love on the wearer. The unique set of it was something she would've picked out. Found in some off-the-main-drag jewelry shop where she could haggle down the price. While she had no recollection of it, Kyra knew in her gut that what he said was true. The rings were hers, there was no mistake.

Her eyes shifted to his, and she turned the rings on her finger in agitation. "We got married. We actually did it." Her heart ached after her whisper, every squeeze of it a pain in her chest. Because she'd known he'd left her while they'd been together. But to leave after they'd absolutely committed to each other? How could you do that? No, no - for safety. The question now is...how could you not come back? It's been years. "I really did love you, you know," she mused quietly. "Since we were kids. I know you did too. And when we'd finally done something about it...I don't get it, Fabs. I just don't get it." Kyra felt herself warming up, readying to engage in another battle with him, and couldn't stop herself in time. "If we did this, if we got married, you - you may have still left, but you would have come back to me. What am I missing?" She swallowed and looked away, less taking in the rolling hills and more trying to get a handle on herself again. Keep it together, Kiki. 

[Fabian Prewett]

It didn’t come as a surprise that Kyra wanted to speak to Arthur, given that he had information about a memory she was missing that Fabian didn’t. It would be a good memory for her to at least hear about, given that it involved Phoebe and the kids. But it would also be an emotional memory for her to have lost, given that Phoebe and the kids were gone. “He’ll be around, just go easy on him. He’s dealt with a lot since this war ended,” he told her quietly. From what Fabian knew, Arthur had tried to stop Kyra from losing that memory - but when Obliviators were involved there was little anyone else could do. Besides, they had more important things they needed to discuss right now - starting with her wedding rings. There was no recognition on her face as she took them, confused words tumbling out of her mouth before she tried them on.

When he’d changed her memories, he had taken them from their nightstand before he left. Always with the intent to return them, he’d intend on going home. They’d been the only part of her he had still had over the years, many hours spent twisting them in his fingers when he missed her. Hoping that one day Alecto would mess up, always a watchful eye kept on the Carrows, so that he could go home. He’d never thought when he saw her again she would have a child - their child, but he should have figured out a way around Alecto’s threats sooner. All of this would have been better if he’d returned sooner, that much he was sure of. Her words were hard to hear, because they were the truth. He’d loved her since they were kids, and they had finally taken the step that Edgar and Phoebe had been not-so-quietly pushing them towards for years. And how could she understand, when so much of the why was a secret?

He cleared his throat, hand wiping at his eyes as he looked to the ground.“We got married after Edgar and Phoebe’s funeral, at the Ministry of Magic. That was were we made a mistake though, because those records can be accessed by anyone,” he answered her quietly, daring to look up to her as he continued. “The night I left - the night I altered your last memories of it all, I didn’t know if I’d make it back alive. There were five people that ambushed Gideon and I that night. Only four of them were caught - and the fifth…” Shifting his weight back and forth as he stood there, he let his words trail off. He had to tread carefully here, because too much information would end his own life now. And he’d done that to protect her, and to protect Griffin - and to give himself a chance to be a part of his son’s life. “That individual would have killed you if I’d gone back, so I promised I wouldn’t. I would keep their involvement a secret and in return, you would be spared. I should have tried harder, I know that now. I can’t change that - but you and Griffin are safe. I can promise you that much.”

[Kyra Thatcher]

It's not Arthur I'm upset with. I'm sure he's got a reasonable explanation. For as odd as Fabian's brother-in-law could be, she'd never doubted his earnest nature. He'd be forthright, she felt, and easily gave a nod to Fabian's request. "I won't go flying off the handle at him, promise." But Kyra was curious, though, about the end of his statement. What had happened to dear ol' Mr. Weasley since this war came to a close?...

She'd never minced her words when it came to harsh realities between them. Admitting their past love - He knows it's in the past, right? - and letting her frustration start getting the better of her wasn't easy, but Kyra didn't see a reason for beating around the bush. They'd each had years to think through what to say if they came face-to-face again, and while she'd only had a few days to try and reconcile her prior arguments with the world of magic and the world without Phoebe and her family, there was no point in lying to each other. If they were to make any progress, which she felt Fabian wanted too, they had to be honest. And so, while she didn't enjoy the pain or tears in his eyes when they found hers, Kyra appreciated their authenticity. In memory - However much you can trust that. - she'd never seen him cry...

Married at the Ministry of Magic. After Phoebe's funeral. Records accessed by "anyone." Assume it's by dark wizards. Four out of five were captured. The last threatened you, with me...

    Secrets on secrets on secrets...

"This is so much, Fabs." The young woman swallowed back her instinctual tears, mind working quickly. "I mean - thank you, for keeping me, us, safe. Doesn't make it easier to stomach, but I'm sure I would've done the same. But if there's someone watching us, making sure we aren't in contact...How can you say we're safe, when I'm breaking that rule now?" Panic rose like bile in the back of her throat at the realization, and she immediately rummaged in her pockets for her car keys. "I left Griff with my sister, Fabian. This person - this person must know about him. What - what better way to punish us than to - " Don't say it. Don't even say it. You'll get back in time. The three hour car ride here from London had felt like half a lifetime's worth of anxiety in one sitting; but leaving now, worried for the life of her family? Keys in hand, heart in her throat, her purpose of coming hardly fulfilled, Kyra started to edge around him. "I have to get back."

[Fabian Prewett]

If Arthur wanted to tell Kyra about his own memory loss, that was his decision. The things that had happened to his brother-in-law during the war were awful, and Fabian hadn’t even fully questioned it. Not until the night he’d seen Arthur with cloudy eyes at the Ministry - but that felt like a lifetime ago. It was as if the past few days had been months, as if he’d aged years in a matter of hours. In a way he had, he’d gone from being by himself to being a father, he’d signed his own death certificate by making that vow. It was a price he was willing to pay, to know that both Kyra and Griffin were safe from Alecto Carrow. And if the Malfoy’s even tried, well, at least Carrow had given him the information he could use against them.

The things he had done years ago, the things he had done only a few nights ago - it was his duty. Maybe the war had ended back in ‘81, but it would never end to him. Not with so many Death Eaters walking free, getting involved in his business. There had been other departments he could have gone to work for, but he’d become an Auror. Protecting those he loved was his life, now and forever. It was why the sudden tears that burned his eyes at Kyra’s thanks caught him, palming at his eyes quietly. The panic that was slowly rising in Kyra was valid - if she even knew who was after her - but he didn't want her to leave. Not before he gave her what she’d asked for, and especially not before he reassured her that everything was fine. “Kyra-” he said as he reached out to her as she tried to leave, hoping she would just stop and listen, just for one second. “He’s safe, I can promise you that. I can - quite literally - promise you with my life that this person can’t hurt Griffin. Or you, okay? I made sure of it.”

His words weren’t enough, and he followed her as she made her way down the path. He was hesitant to use magic to stop her, as easy as it would be, but she couldn’t just leave right now. “There’s something in my world called an Unbreakable Vow,” he spoke up, “Usually only used by fanatic pureblood families in their marriages, the consequences for breaking one is death. They can’t hurt you or Griffin, Kyra.”

[Kyra Thatcher]

However awkward it would’ve been, I should’ve brought him with. I shouldn’t have had him out of my sight. And now Liz is caught up in this too, do the Weasleys even have a phone I can use to warn them? Where could they go that’s safe? How could he let me wander off like this if he knew Griff wasn't safe?…

There was so much more she’d wanted out of this day, so much left to say between them, but as Kyra turned back the way she’d come, she knew what she had to do. She had to get home, this wasn’t Liz’s or Griffin’s burden to bear, this wasn’t danger they should be exposed to. Even the shining tears in Fabian’s eye that she caught as she passed him couldn’t stop her, the sight having as little effect as his plea, his touch. Because the reappeared ghost had to be exaggerating. How could he promise with his life that she and Griffin were out of harm’s way? When that’s where they’d been, unknowingly, for the past…once they joined this war. Maybe even before. Phoebe, how could you not tell me about all this? Tears threatened to blind her as she thought of her lost friend, grief as fresh a wound as the night he told her. Fabian wasn’t so easily deterred, and while her ears were only half on him as he came after her, he soon had her attention back.

"And what about you then?"

She whirled around abruptly, taking in this new information, eyes beseeching as they met his. "Can they hurt you? Because if we’re going to do this, I can’t - I can’t always be watching over my shoulder, or yours, or Griff’s, helplessly waiting for the other shoe to drop! I won’t put us through that!" Kyra looked up at him through tearful eyes, wishing she could see in the near stranger the man that she’d chosen to marry, to trust that what happened to the Bones' wouldn't happen to them. The rings on her finger, on his, were damning proof that they’d once trusted each other enough to bind their lives together. But she felt trapped in the whirlwind of information that she should be grateful for, too trapped to see through it, to see him. The control that these witches and wizards had had over her life without her knowing was terrifying. She’d always thought she was strong, independent, capable of thinking herself through any situation life threw at her. But thrust into new knowings about the tragedy that fell to Phoebe's family, about this world that her son belonged in without her...You may not know which memories to trust. But you can think this through. He's dropped enough clues. You can do this, Kiki. Griffin and Liz are safe.

Breathing heavily, trying to abate the panic for her family with his assurance, she faced him, doing what she could to logic herself through what he meant. "This Vow, they can’t hurt me or Griff without dying. I understand that. But you must’ve - there had to be a trade, a dark wizard wouldn’t just give us up after all this time for nothing. You said you can promise me on your life that we’re safe. So there’s - there’s something more to it, if your life is involved, not just this other wizard's."

[Fabian Prewett]

He stopped as she whirled around to face him, tears in her eyes as words were thrown at him. The thought to ensure his own safety from Alecto Carrow hadn’t even crossed his mind, the concern for the family he wanted so badly to be a part of had been his only goal. Fabian didn’t fear Alecto when it came to his own life, she wasn’t fool enough to kill an Auror and think that she could get away with. As far as he could tell, most of the former Death Eaters that had escaped Azkaban were doing their best to move away from that life - to put it behind them like they’d never participated in it. He wasn’t fool enough to think that the ideology of the Death Eater life was gone, and that should another wizard try what You-Know-Who had that they wouldn’t follow. But for now, at least, his position in the Ministry gave him a sense of safety.

“Could they hurt me? Yes, they could. They’d be a fool if they tried, things have changed since the war ended. But they’ve already done enough damage to me - to us. It’s over now, and I know…” he sighed, running a hand through is hair, “I never let things get too offical between us all those years ago because I didn’t want you to have to be looking over your shoulder. I saw what Edgar and Phoebe went through, how much danger they were in because she was a muggle and he was a wizard. I never wanted that life for you, Kyra.” He crossed his arms, wanting to pull the woman standing in front of him into his arms. But just because she was still wearing the rings didn’t mean there was a chance in hell she still cared about him the way he cared for her, and he’d uprooted enough of her life already.

So he kept his eyes on the ground, to the area around them, waiting for her to speak once more. And when she asked the question he had known would be coming, he finally met her eyes once more. “In exchange for your safety, I vowed to keep this particular individual’s secrets that I’ve kept quiet since the war ended. Essentially, they can never be prosecuted for crimes committed unless someone else talks.”

[Kyra Thatcher]

Kyra's mind was driving itself in circles as she listened. Not knowing whether to trust anything that came out of him, not knowing whether to trust anything in her memory. The dark wizards could come after Fabian again, but they'd be foolish to? How much had things changed since the war was done to give him that idea? Not knowing enough about that world to make an informed opinion, however, left her rather stranded, even as the pieces of information he gave her tried to build a path towards understanding...You're going to drive yourself mad if you keep questioning everything he says. Try believing him, for now. And some of what he said did make sense, objectively. Knowing what he did about the struggles, the worries, the fears, that plagued their best friends because of him being a wizard and her being a muggle - that was enough to make any sane person stay well enough away from subjecting himself to the same things. But even so, the love that they'd had for each other, it was something she'd always envied. And, apparently, something she hadn't been too afraid to act on, once given the choice.

"But you did want that life for me," she had to counter, not unkindly, as she fidgeted with the moonstone rings. "We both did. Unless you forced me down the aisle, which I can't see you doing. We'd just seen the worst happen, and we still took the risk...I'm sorry, I'm just - I'm boggled, about all this. It feels..." Her voice dropped to a whisper, but her decision to trust him was fresh, just as fresh as her pain, so she went on. "I know it's foolish, I should've known they weren't ever coming back, but it - it feels like I just lost them. Reconciling that with this - " Kyra gestured between them, at a loss. "I don't - I don't know what to feel, if I'm being honest." I wish we could pick up where we left off. But I don't think we can. Even when you were working to protect us, that lost time, that lost togetherness...it can't be ignored.

Her thinking through about the Vow brought Fabian back to her, and she could read the pain, reluctance, he had in telling her more about what he'd done to ensure her and Griffin's safety. An untried war criminal? Let to be free, so that they could be? You want to be with us so badly. The thought nearly broke her hardened heart; he wouldn't have made that decision lightly, to give up the leverage he had on this individual in exchange for a chance with her and Griffin. "Knowing they won't pay for what they did...that must be killing you." But you did it for us. His entanglements with this war had kept them apart for so long, before, during, and after it. But he'd felt strongly enough about its cause to devote his life to furthering it. To let someone go, someone who'd been party to the Bones' deaths...She sighed and stepped in, hesitating for a moment before rising on her toes and wrapping her arms around his neck. She closed her tearful eyes and leaned into him for support. While she didn't know all of the roles they'd play in each other's lives moving forward, at the very least...we can forgive. And work this out together.

[Fabian Prewett]

This was his last chance to make things right between them. If she hated him, he could live with that. But he wanted to be a part of Griffin’s life. He wanted to introduce his son to Quidditch, and all sorts of magic. He wanted to be waiting on the platform to see an 11 year old Griffin off to Hogwarts, wanted to see the letters home from Minerva when his son was - without a doubt - sorted into Gryffindor. And maybe he’d find a friend like Edgar at school, and they’d get letters when the kids caused a ruckus. It was a life he had never imagined for himself, but now that it seemed just out of his reach he couldn’t help but want it. And while he had missed Kyra, and while he loved her deeply, he could understand if he’d gone too far for her to ever love him as she once did. He was putting all in his hope in his words to her, desperate practically dripping from them. None of this was ever supposed to hurt you, Kiki.

And what she countered with was true, he had wanted that life for her. Or, if he was being honest, he wanted it for himself. Perhaps it wasn’t the best time to laugh, but the awkward one that escaped his lips happened. No, he couldn’t have ever forced Kyra to do anything - and why would he want to? Her free spirit was one of the reasons he loved her so much. They had gotten married with broken hearts in the aftermath of the death of the Bones family, both of them well aware of the risk they were taking. Looking back on it now, he knew it had been poor timing. He shouldn’t have set Kyra up for that risk, because look where it had gotten then. Five years and some odd months of them being apart, him missing out on the first four years of his son’s life. His choices had made her and Griffin a target, and he could never make up for that. Just like he could never make up for the fact that Kyra was processing the grief of losing Phoebe and Edgar now, instead of all those years ago when it had happened. “Couldn’t ever force you to do anything. I’m not… I’m not expecting anything from you Kyra. I’ve got the paperwork in the house if you want a divorce, but it’s up to you. Everything from this moment forward is up to you, I’m done making decisions.”

It was hard to admit to her what he had done, and he didn’t expect forgiveness from her for it. To let someone who had killed their friends be free...it was as despicable as meddling in her memories was. His head jerked in a nod at her words, biting back his own thoughts. He had failed Edgar and Phoebe once before, he’d let them die horrible deaths. He has failed Kyra by putting her in harm's way, by putting Griffin in the path of a Death Eater. But he wasn’t expecting the hug she gave him, arms wrapping around her tightly as a sob he’d been holding back escaped him. He wasn’t the type to cry, especially not in front of Kyra. He had before, the night they had gone back to his place after the Bones death. They’d barely been in his front door when it had hit him hard, and he’d broke down. A memory she didn’t have of him anymore. He had spent years grieving the Bones family, and yet the pain was still as fresh as the day it had happened. And so he held onto Kyra tightly, shaking as he cried. “I failed them, and I failed you,” he whispered hoarsely after some time, regaining his composure slowly. “I miss them every damn day Kyra. They didn’t deserve this - you didn’t deserve this.” Placing a kiss on her temple, he took a step back out of her grip, slowly holding out his wand. “Let me fix what I messed up?”

[Kyra Thatcher]

"Damn right you're not expecting anything from me," she scoffed on automatic, a throwaway to their simpler times. "You tell me we're married and then that you've got divorce papers ready?" Kyra looked to him in her shock, wondering if yet another piece of news could be coming from him today, the straw that broke the camel's back. "Everything's up to me, eh?" She let out a wavering laugh of disbelief as uncomfortable as his own, tilting her head back to the gray sky above, taking a moment before she faced Fabian again. Did he not understand that a partnership would be best for them? She couldn't carry the responsibility of every decision, not when she knew so little of the world her son belonged to. Left to their own devices, she and Griffin would be the blind leading the blind. It would be a good ride for a while, sure - but not long before they ran into something where they needed an expert. Where they needed his father. And standing before her was the most contrite and guilty resource she could have desired.

"Look, Fabs," she sighed, brushing her hair from her face and turning to him. "I want you in Griffin's life, if you're up for it. And that means we make decisions together, you and me. I can't guide him through magic alone. Hell, I've been worrying about getting him through puberty, where I'm sure he'll have questions he doesn't want to ask his mother, however close we are. So let's not worry about the papers today, okay? Leave that for another day?" A weak smile flitted to her face as she worried the new-to-her rings on her hand. Learning of their marriage like this, it didn't feel like it'd happened to her. Not yet. Maybe with time, and hopefully with restored memories, it would feel more real, and less like something out of an almost forgotten book.

There were more pressing issues for today, and admitting her difficulty with coming to terms with Phoebe, Edgar, Gray, Elle, Cami was one of them. She hadn't had the heart yet to share the news with Liz, the only person besides Fabian who would understand the depth of the loss. But she hadn't expected that her hug - as much seeking comfort as giving it - would cause such a reaction in him. He gripped her to him, a sob wracking through him, shuddering from head to toe, and Kyra held on tighter, tears seeping from her squeezed-shut eyes. But when the tremors lessened enough for him to speak, his words caused her stomach to twist. "Edgar would understand that you're protecting your family," she said carefully. "And...you're trying to do better by me. Holding on to vengeance, to regret...you know he wouldn't want that for you. I don't either."

She breathed through the kiss he laid on her forehead and looked to him, brushing tears from her eyes. At Fabian's words, she noticed the wand he now held; her heart picked up in a fear she pushed back, remembering her earlier promise to herself to trust him. He wouldn't hurt you. Not again. This was the only way to know the truth of her history, right? And now that she knew so much was amiss, how could she give up the opportunity? Without taking her eyes from his, she assented. "Do it."

[Fabian Prewett]

Maybe bringing up divorce papers hadn’t been his best idea - but he’d figured there was no way she wanted to remain married to him. Not with how badly he’d managed to f*ck everything up. But Kyra looked shocked by his admission, and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was still messing everything up. He’d spent too many years thinking he knew best for the both of them, it simply seemed like the right thing to do was to stop. Maybe he didn’t know what the right thing to do anymore was. And so he stayed quite, letting Kyra take her time with her thoughts. Hearing that she wanted him to be a part of Griffin’s life, Fabian felt a spark of hope return. He was well aware it didn’t mean they’d be getting back together, that might not ever happen. But just being allowed to be a part of his son’s life was enough. He’d already missed enough of it because of his foolishness. “Another day, yeah. Sounds good. Thank you, Kyra.” She couldn’t possibly know how much being a part of Griffin’s life meant to him, but he hoped he could show her.

He had expected his emotions to get the best of him, especially not now. Everything about the day they’d lost the Bones was too painful, and while it wasn’t as fresh for him as it was for Kyra, it still felt like no time had passed. He’d found himself wanting to apparate to their house on a number of days, for one moment forgetting what had happened. Thankfully he managed to pull himself together enough to speak, and found himself growing calmer with her words. She was right, Edgar wouldn’t want him holding on to the hate like he did. “I know,” he whispered back, before he pulled himself away from her. He couldn’t linger in this moment, not when he had work to do.

“This will take a few minutes, try to just stay focused in this moment - will be easier that way,” he said quietly, waiting for her agreement before he lifted his wand to her temple. It reminded him of the first time he’d erased her memories, the summer Phoebe and Edgar had gotten engaged. Voldemort had approached them in the streets, and it had been terrifying. He’d gone to Kyra’s that night, and for the first time altered her memories. The spellwork had been taught to him by Roderick, the boy who always helped in the hospital wing much more knowledgeable in this sort of thing. They’d agreed that it was too risky to simply erase Kyra’s memories, that altering them would be safer in the long run. But back then it was only supposed to have happened once, and yet here he was trying to set right years worth of memories. He was quiet as he sorted through them, removing his magic from her mind one memory at a time. It pained him, seeing Phoebe and Edgar in her memories as he worked. He’d spent so long trying not to remember them because of how much their absence killed him.

The minutes ticked by as he worked, and once he reached the last memory he let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. He took a step back, wiping at his eyes as he pocketed his wand. “There, that should be all of them. It may take a bit for all of them to come back to you.” He hoped her first memory would be a good one, a reminder of how beautiful magic could be. But, there was one night five years ago that he feared would come to the surface. The Dark Mark floating above the house, their friends lying dead in hallways and bedrooms. A family ripped apart too soon, and never properly avenged. “What are you thinking about?” he asked quietly.

[Kyra Thatcher]

While Kyra knew she'd asked for this, for her memories to be restored, for the truth of their lives to come out - it was a frightening thing to face. Living in ignorance had been easier, and with fewer broken hearts; surely that's what Fabian had wanted for her, even if - had she the power to counter him - she wouldn't have allowed it to happen in the first place. In the past days since learning of magic, she'd been playing with all sorts of hypotheticals, and a secret favorite was what she would be like if she was a witch herself. To stretch the limits of what was possible, to wield influence over others without their knowing - would she do it, if she had the power? Would she use a sleeping potion to calm Griffin down after a nightmare when he refused to return to bed? Would she manipulate her supervisor into giving her a review better than she'd earned?

Could she stomach changing someone's memories without their consent?

In this new world she was just starting to know, the witches and wizards were - at the end of the day - human. Prone to the same failings as those she'd always known. Some had more of a conscience than others, some heeded to it more than others did. Their talents varied as much as their interests and pursuits, and she supposed she'd never know for certain what choices she would've made if things were different - but she wanted to think that she'd live with integrity…

Oh f*ck, he said to stay focused on now.

Kyra zeroed in on him, watching his eyes as he worked, trying to not get weirded out at the wand being right at her temple. She started to feel a bit dazed as he worked, and perhaps it was that which made her think she saw the shifting emotions in his dark eyes. Her awareness drifted back after he lowered his wand and affirmed that that should be it, and she tried to shake off the haziness clouding her mind. Now that all should be put to rights, the decision of where to look was almost overwhelming. She wanted to see Phoebe again, to witness the kids doing magic - but she feared that breaching any memories of the Bones' would take her to that day.

She wasn't ready for that, not yet, not in a field outside the Weasleys' house, with Fabian all but champing at the bit to know what she'd found. She let out a heavy breath and brushed her hair behind her ears, bent on focusing her scattered thoughts into something productive; but as her hand fell and she saw the rings anew, Kyra knew where to go. Her eyes closed and she saw herself in white, hand-in-hand with Fabs as they walked through an enormous hall that was undoubtedly magical. A little wedding party of friends and family chattered behind them, and she could feel, acutely, who was absent. A bittersweet day, a day that was long-coming and too late for some - but it was a good day. To see the love in his eyes as he stood across from her, to exchange words of adoration and promise, to truly feel at peace with him…

"...our wedding," Kyra admitted at his question, sharing a slight smile of embarrassment with him. "I wanted to remember something…good. I don't feel up to - seeing them. But could you - d'you think you could come by, when I am?" Vulnerability still wasn't something she was altogether comfortable with, but she'd been doing her best to be a good role model for Griffin, and asking for help when she needed it was a recent point of growth. And asking for Fabian's help was something she'd have to get used to, since he was joining the Thatcher party of two. "Did we - " she began abruptly, a bright smile lighting her face as the wedding day continued to come in spurts. "Was Annie's Song our first dance? I've always gotten so...nostalgic when I hear that."