April 11: I Ain't Done Much Healing: Fabs/Weasleys

[Fabian Prewett]

Changing her memories back was hard, but it wasn’t impossible. Magic left traces, and as he filtered through her memories he could find the ones that magic had touched. However, he knew this was a dangerous thing to be doing. To mess with someone’s mind was complicated magic, and the last thing he wanted was to cause more damage to Kyra than he already had. But it was hard to relive some of the memories, to see them unravel from the good memories he’d given her. To see them on the street after a good night out with Edgar and Phoebe, only to be caught up in the games that Bellatrix and her crew wanted to play. The kids accidentally doing magic and locking Edgar out of the house, only to be saved by Phoebe and Kyra when they got home from shopping. So many good memories, but none of them could prepare Kyra for the bad ones that were going to come up.

With the task done, he pocketed his wand and watched her intently as she thought. He didn’t know where she would go, and he was concerned that the first memory that came back would be a terrible one. Fabian didn’t think she’d go to the night they died, but there were plenty of other memories that weren’t great. Like any memory of when he’d altered her memories, and the fights they had gotten into. But to his surprise, the first place she went was a good memory. One that he’d been thinking of a lot recently.

“It was a good day,” he said with a smile, thinking back on the day of their wedding. His brother had been there, along with Roderick and Amelia. All of them suffering a great loss, but coming together to celebrate some happiness in the darkness. He could still picture it so clearly, their little group walking through the halls of the Ministry of Magic. But he knew that sometime soon, there would be darker memories for Kyra to remember. Ones that still made him cry, even though he’d had five years to process what had happened. “Just let me know when, I’ll be there,” he answered her quietly, “Call me anytime, or send me an owl. I mean it.” He chuckled at her next, remembering the song quite well. Played from an old stereo in the apartment he’d shared with his brother, the two of them dancing slowly as he’d got lost in the music. “Think maybe one day we could dance to it again?”

[Kyra Thatcher]

"An owl?" She didn't doubt the sincerity with which Fabian spoke, but couldn't help a slight laugh of surprise at his suggestion. Was there a special breed of owls that helped the wizarding community communicate with each other? Were they truly that deep into old school wizarding aesthetic? Did she need to get an owl for Griffin? Thankfully they shifted back to the memory of their wedding day, and at his laugh Kyra knew she'd surmised correctly. But as he spoke? Her heart nearly did break for them then. 

Asked me that a few days ago and I would've kicked you out.

They had strayed so far from what they had been. Each iteration of their relationship had changed them, moving from awkward teenagers learning to flirt to young adults trying their hands at actually being together, to truths and trust and commitments. But within it all, they had had a friendship. And she'd once thought that her nostalgic ties to the song came from its story with the author. Denver, relieved and full of love at reconciling with his wife, had been so inspired by where they were in their relationship that he'd been overcome and wrote the song in ten minutes while on a ski lift. The couple's fiery divorce just a few years later was wrenching, especially with evidence in the recording of just how much love had been between them. Back and forth, together and apart, fights and peace - it'd made her think of her history with Fabian. And now? It made perfect sense to her that they had chosen this song to dance to. A heartfelt plea to the other to let bygones be bygones, to face the future together.

A plea he didn't listen to for more than a few days.

    Kiki. He's trying. Griffin needs him in his life. And look at what the last years have done to him. This will be healing for him. And for you too.

Kyra began to hum her way through the bars of the song and took his face in her hands, bringing their foreheads together briefly before settling into a simple dance. After a time, she let her head fall to his shoulder, and kept swaying even after her hums stopped. "I've missed my friend, Fabian," she admitted, hoping that it was clear to him that despite the dance, friendship was all she intended to offer. To allow him back into her life meant being truthful with Griffin about his father. And there had to be a line between them that they did not cross. The most important thing was Griffin - if they got together, his hopes would rise astronomically, and if they split, as they always had? How selfish would that be, to put their child through that pain? "I want Griffin to know the truth, and to know you. Are you up for that?"

[Fabian Prewett]

He had to chuckle, forgetting just how little of the magical world that Kyra knew. The concept of an owl must seem strange to her, even though it seemed strange to him for someone to not have an owl at their house. “I’ll let you borrow mine, he likes you,” Fabian assured her. In all their years of on again/off again, Hesphaestus had grown fond of Kyra. Fabian was almost positive that the owl liked Kyra more than him. “Although he’s getting old, so no packages that are too heavy,” he joked, giving her a grin. Even in his old age, Hesphaestus was still going strong. Unlike Errol, the Weasley’s owl, who seemed to be a bit odd these days. Talk turned to their wedding, and it was nice to reflect on how good that day had been, even when there had been so much bad happening around them.

He knew maybe he shouldn’t have asked the question, but he didn’t expect the reaction he got. He felt himself smile as she brought her face to his, and he fell into the sway with her - although he didn’t attempt to hum along - but he let himself relish this moment. This one, where they were swaying in the field together, where everything felt like it could start to heal. Kyra may never forgive him, and he was realizing as they danced that he could be okay with that. He didn’t deserve forgiveness for what he had done. All he could hope was that she allowed him to be in his son’s life, in some capacity. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed there, swaying to a song that only they could hear. As she spoke, he rested his head on top of hers, a smile on his face. “I’ve missed my friend too Kyra.” Friendship was more than he expected, and he would do everything he could to make sure he was the best friend to her.

When she brought up Griffin, he wanted to cry even more. To be a part of his son’s life was important, and he’d been afraid she wouldn’t offer him the chance. He stopped swaying, looking down at her as he blinked back the tears. “I want to get to know him. I want to watch him play Quidditch at Hogwarts, he’s got a strong arm - think he could be a beater. I want to read him stories as he falls asleep. I’m in Kyra, I’m all in."

[Kyra Thatcher]

She could feel the smile reverberating through his voice as he spoke, and Kyra was glad that it seemed her message was clearly enough delivered and accepted for the way they stood to be undisputed. He'd only just returned from the dead, or so it felt, and dropped so much new information on her and Griffin that even thinking about adding in a romantic element would surely cause her to implode. So would thinking too hard about Griffin disappearing for the better part of the year once he started at this school for magic - what was she supposed to do without her boy?

But no, no - the most important thing now was that Fabian wanted to be Griffin's father. They'd have to work out the logistics of it, set ground rules and boundaries, but he was telling her what she needed to hear, and with the emotion in his voice and the tears in his eyes what could she do but believe? While this was in no way a fresh start for them, it was a new path that they could embark on together, and that was something it seemed like they could all use. "In this together now, then," she said with a small smile, and with a big exhale she turned towards the house to start the walk back. Heavy things were yet to come, Kyra knew, but what they'd needed to keep from the Weasley kids's eyes and ears seemed to have passed.

"I haven't told him about you or his - or his own magic, not yet," she spoke up as she followed her feet down the muddy path. "I figured that was something we should do together. But so you know - when he'd ask about his dad, I'd tell him that he was away on top-secret missions for the army. Too secret for us to risk any communication. The rest of the stories I'd tell him were true though, he knows about all the PG adventures on the cul-de-sac. Have you thought about how you want to tell him?"

[Fabian Prewett]

Friendship with Kyra was more than he could ask for, and he was going to do his best to not take it for granted. He had told himself that he would do whatever it took to be back in her good graces so that he could be in Griffin's life. But after his talks with Arthur and Molly, he had been preparing himself to be told that Kyra never wanted to see him again, and that Griffin would be better off not knowing who he really was other than a former friend of his mother’s. It had been a hard pill to swallow, and he wasn’t entirely sure he had accepted it. It was a relief now to know that he had a shot at being a good father to his son, and there were so many things he wanted to do. He wanted to attend football matches, and muggle school parent teacher conferences. Phoebe had told him about those once, when Grayson had caused some accidental magic ruckus at primary school.

Whatever happened from this moment forward, they would be a team when it came to their son. He would do whatever magic Kyra wanted in her place to help her feel and Griffin feel safe there, although admittedly he had done wards around her flat before he had left a few days ago. He followed her as they walked back towards the Burrow, keeping his eyes peeled for any children who may have snuck away from the garden to attempt to spy on them. He fell into step beside her, listening as she told him the story she had weaved for their son about him. There was truth in it, he had been in a secret soldier group. And he knew she had told Griffin the story about teaching Fabian how to drive. “Pretty much all I’ve thought about for the past few days is the both of you,” he admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Your story really isn’t that far from the truth, I am still what could be considered a soldier, or a police officer essentially, in the magic world. And I stayed away to keep you safe - to keep you both safe, even though I didn’t know about him. We had just lost Edgar and Phoebe, I couldn’t stand to think of you meeting the same fate as them.” So many nights he had dreamt of the Dark Mark floating above her flat in Chelsea, and had had to keep himself from breaking his word to Carrow and going to check if she was okay.

“What I want, and I’ve given this thought, is to apologize to him for being gone. And to tell him that I’m his father, and that there is a whole world full of magic awaiting him,” he finally answered. He stopped a few yards away from the front door, knowing that the closer they got, the more likely they were to be peppered with questions from well meaning family. Hopefully Arthur would be around to answer any questions Kyra might have about the memory he couldn’t recover. “Kiki, you need to know this. Griffin’s at the age where he’s going to start showing a lot of accidental magic, and it can be a lot to handle. He needs to be taught how to control it, and not to fear it - because bad things can happen to magical children who suppress their powers. I don’t have to be the one to teach him, Arthur and Molly would be more than happy to do that. And Gid - he’s chomping at the bit to see you again and to meet Griffin.”

[Kyra Thatcher]

How long had it been since she'd given up on finding Fabian again? Since she had tired of cursing his name on nights that she felt so alone, when sleep was a thing of the past and her child wanted none of it? Since she had let go of the anger and confusion and hurt of him as much as possible? Since she had slowly woken in the comfort of a dream, feeling his warmth around her for a few stolen moments? Since she had wished he knew what he'd truly left behind?

And now, Fabian was here. Old wounds scarred over, old wants buried deep, old memories returned - all wanting attention, but not all deserving it. Not if they were going to move forward together, and with Griffin. Everything that Fabian had done since their meeting the other day had been in service of that future, and she believed him when he spoke of wanting to be Griffin's father in all ways. She believed it was what he wanted, she could see it in his actions. With time, she would be able to take him at his word, and understand why he'd done as he had. Even if what he'd taken of hers lit a fire under her still - she had her memories back, he was repentant... He gets this chance.

They fell into step as well as they could, with the muck and the difference in their strides, and her heart gave an uncomfortable lurch. Stop it. Only natural you've been on his mind. Both of you. Don't forget the divorce papers already in the house. Still, Kyra allowed herself a short-lived smile as he corroborated her story. She tensed at his further explanation, seeing the sense in it well enough, but their friends...It was no longer a mystery to her, where her best friend and family had gone off to. Fabian had left her with a false memory, a goodbye party, but a different gathering awaited her now. And the other night, he'd told her how he'd watched Phoebe die, how there had been nothing he could do to stop it. Stomach turning as a thought arrived, at realizing just how few returned memories were likely to be anywhere near the daydream of their wedding dance, Kyra gripped his wrist, swallowing against the sudden rise of bile in her throat. "Was I there? The day they died, was I there with you?"

When she had steeled herself and they had continued on, Kyra was taken aback. Starting with the apology would help get him and Griffin off on the right foot, and Griff learning that the magic they'd been enveloped in the other day was his would do the rest. But when they paused and he went on, concern clouding his eyes and plans and cautions tripping over each other in his words, she laid a hand on his chest to slow him down. "Let's take a moment. Breathe, Fabs." She met his eyes, a slow inhale and exhale, and squeezed his shoulder before dropping her hand.  

"I appreciate the warning, but Griffin should learn this from you. The good and the bad of magic, he's going to need your guidance. We'll do the just because you can doesn't mean you should of it all together, but he's got this...this ability from you." Giving a weak laugh, she nodded to the house, "A whole lot more family because of you too. Gid, Arthur and Molly, cousins." She'd never worried about Griff being alone, not until learning of this magical boarding school. But the Weasley kids would be there too, and the little girl even seemed to be around his age. "We'll ease into it, yeah? He's bound to be as baffled as he is thrilled at all this."