Dec. 22: A Little Christmas Charm: Helena

[Malcolm Rabnott]

"I'll let Ma know, she'll be happy to come down tomorrow. Nothing worse than a surprise doxy infestation, eh? She's got a way with the beasties, should be able to deter them from regrouping upstairs." Malcolm swallowed his bite and gave the barkeep a smile, finishing up his early lunch at the bar as the man walked off, and picked up his internal dialogue where he'd left it. Finding the balance between over and under preparing was something he'd yet to master...but as he couldn't convince his mind to quiet down, and he'd finished his holiday shopping ahead of schedule...he might as well practice his interview questions again, right? 

Because the school wouldn't just take anyone to teach, and while the worst that could happen was a no - if a no happened, then what? He had no interest in the etiquette school, no history with acting to bring to W.A.D.A., the Academy of Broom Flying was only fully operational in the summers, and pursuing a position at Hogwarts wasn't for him, at least not yet...If they don't want you back for the second round, you'll figure something out. Can always work at the farm until you have your own path sorted. The Hufflepuff wiped his crumby fingers off on the napkin in his lap and tugged at the stiff collar of his dress shirt, tuning out the chatter around him as he focused inwards. It was a familiar practice, given his preference for studying in the common room over the library or other quiet hideaways. Mal sat at attention on the stool, parcels from the wizarding street at his feet, notes in hand as he ran through his prepared responses... 

He checked his watch and sighed; another over and under needing to find balance was his estimation of time, for while he'd assumed that the shops would be busy, and busy they were, there was still half an hour to fill. Mal folded the parchment back in on itself - wondering if he'd be before a single interviewer or a panel, how many people they were seeing for this position, if they'd take him seriously from the get-go and if not, how he could change their minds with the little time he had - and forced himself to look around. Relax. You'll do your best if you can relax a bit. Just like the calm before the match or the exam, alright? The storefronts and the insides of the shops transformed at this time of year, providing endless intrigue if you let your eye wander; Malkin's was in a league of its own, and even the little pub seemed spiffed up, with pine and cinnamon and...

That's not...Helena?

The lad started to grin at the sight of the witch across the pub, and stood to wave her over. What are you doing, Mal? Not that he wasn't usually a friendly fellow, but they weren't at school - she hadn't been at school since last spring - no, they were in the world, and she looked in a hurry. Color high in her cheeks and snow melting in her hair and on her shoulders, beautiful as he remembered, the young woman he'd admired from afar in their shared activities was here, today. He felt like he'd just taken a hearty swig of his grandmother's famous eggnog - beastly strong - when Helena looked his way and broke into a smile. It was the kind of smile he'd wanted to receive from her the last year they'd overlapped at Hogwarts, the kind of smile he'd seen her sport when a friend came to pick her up or when she'd seemed to surprise even herself after a particularly splendid duel. And as she started towards him, suddenly the next thirty minutes seemed far, far, too few.

[Helena Goldstein]

It had been a long, fun day but Helena was cold beneath her coat and countless warming charms and honestly felt for the first time in her life felt like she needed a ‘stiff one’...a stiff drink that was. She had treated herself to a day of shopping and adventure, there was the matter of gifts for everyone she loved but it was also a much needed pick me up after recent events in her life had put her in a melancholy mood. It was a reward, of sorts, for quitting her job, which sounded worse than it actually was. She had thought she could handle working with Lestrange and Lestranger but it was more dangerous than she could have predicted. The not so recently graduated Ravenclaw had endured for as long as she could, trying to stick it out if only to prove they couldn’t scare her...but honestly the work wasn’t fulfilling enough to make the struggle worth it in the end. Helena had decided she wasn’t going to waste her days mentally battling her foes and quit just a few days prior. She had spent some time holed up in her room being disappointed in herself, but her grandmother hadn’t let that go on for very long. Now it was the day before Christmas Eve and she had taken to the streets of Diagon Alley with the other late shoppers.

She had started at the bank to fill her purse with the money she had put aside for the season and then quickly set about spending it. The menagerie first to replenish supplies and pick up special treats for all of the animals on the farm, the second hand shop, Malkin’s for something new for herself to brighten the holidays and a scarf with dancing stars of David for Nan, the stationary and Quidditch shops, Flourish’s naturally, and then she couldn’t have possible held anything else, even with magic. She decided to call it a day, knowing she had checked every box off of her shopping list and then some, and her feet just couldn’t take any more walking! She had gotten something for all of her dear friends and each of her brothers and so counted her day as accomplished. And even though thoughts in the alley were mostly cheerful for the  upcoming holiday, there was always an underlying fear no-one could seem to shake and Helena was ready to be free of the tension. So she decided something warm to drink and maybe a bite to eat before heading home was in order and ducked into the Leaky and out of the now quickly falling snow.

And that’s where she heard her name in a voice that felt familiar -it was not like a calling, it was more like a question- echo dimly in her mind. In the den of the pub it was almost impossible to pick out but she was so accustomed to listening for it that she managed to snag it as it floated away. It drew her eyes up in search and when a hand stuck out of the crowd, followed by the face of an old schoolmate, Helena broke into a wide grin. The younger Hufflepuff had always been a nice light in her life when he was around and in later years she had admitted to finding him very attractive and sometimes even sought out his thoughts -which she found interesting and easier to follow than most people she knew. He was even more handsome now when she weaved her way through the patrons to come abreast to him than he had been just six months ago when they were both still at Hogwarts together. “Malcom Rabnott is that you?” She said, feeling stupid for her greeting as obviously it was him. But his thoughts well...they were distracting her, they were about her you see and well...they were very kind in their view of her. He was very kind in his view.  She saw snippets of herself from school, in Defense class and the library and the Lake, always smiling, always prettier than she actually was. Helena ducked her head to control her face, less he know she was spying, before pushing her hair out of the way and meeting his eye with a happy smile. “Mal, how have you been? I feel like it’s been ages!”

[Malcolm Rabnott]

Mal's smile quirked as he saw Helena's attention shift from casually finding her way through the pub to a pointed search, and he raised his helpful arm higher. Had she truly heard him through all the noise? It was no secret that the witch had an extraordinary power, but never having spoken in depth with her about it, he was certain that his pleasant surprise was evident on his face. He could only imagine the strategies she'd had to learn over the years to filter everyone out - the crowds at Hogwarts meals must have been absolutely overwhelming before then - and wondered if it was her name or his voice that had caught her attention.  That is, if my thoughts even sound like my voice? The seventh year grinned at her words as his memories of Helena were overshadowed by the reality of her arrival. He checked the foolish impulse telling him to hug her - You've got your overexcited nerves on still, eh? - and laughed.

"Helena Goldstein," Malcolm said through it, curious if she was still tuned into his inner thoughts and, if so, what she thought of him being such a numpty. You'll trap yourself in a circle if you think like that. It's Helena, she's always been kind. It's just a little different without the rest of the club around, that's all. Having the focus of her attention on him was something new...but Helena's warm brown eyes turned up to his, her smile was open and earnest, and he felt his nerves drop down a few steps. "I've been well, thank you - Hogwarts isn't the same without you and your year, but we're holding the fort down. The year is flying by, though. I feel like I'm going to blink and it'll be June again. And after that, well - this afternoon I've got an interview at the Charms school about a teaching position for the fall. Wish me luck?" Saying it to her made the possibility feel even more tangible and he stood taller for it, uncomfortable suit and all. This was his first chance to make something of himself on his own, outside of his family and outside of the castle, and while he would consider himself a humble bloke...I really think I could do this, if I get the chance. Who knew who he would be up against for the position, and if he would get it this time around or if this interview would be something to learn from for next time, but it was time to go for it. His dedication and determination had brought him this far, after all - who's to say it wouldn't be enough?

"Any chance you're free to stay for a spell?" he ventured, pulling out the empty bar stool next to his. Today was already a day of taking chances, after all - what was one more?...Even if it got his heart to speed up a few ticks due to lack of practice in this particular arena. The worst she can say is no. "We could get something warm and catch up, if you'd like."

[Helena Goldstein]

Listening in on Mal’s private thoughts was something she felt guilty about but couldn’t stop doing. Typically she was a master at putting up her mental shields, at the moment she seemed to have forgotten the magic completely but not obviously completely because she was blocking everyone else out just fine. Helena chalked it up to the fact that it was her he was thinking about and her ego just needed to be put in check, it clearly enjoyed the compliments far too much. It also liked to read into how flustered the younger bloke seemed at meeting her unexpectedly and his words about Hogwarts not being the same without her.

    He said without me and my year, he was probably thinking more of the Gryffindors.

        You know what he’s thinking....don't pretend.

He seemed to carry on without much help from her and she found herself smiling fondly at that. Malcolm was clearly pleased to see her and Helena had no qualms with it, she was pleased herself. When he paused to draw breath she reached out to place a comforting hand on his arm, feeling the nervousness within him at the venture he was embarking on and wanting to try easing some of his worry. “Good luck Malcolm, but I’m sure you don’t need it. The Charm school would be lucky to have you.” From what she remembered, Mal was very good with children, he was amazing with his own siblings, and the younger students felt comfortable around him, he would make an excellent teacher.

She knew what was coming next before he even opened his mouth, and she was glad for it, because it gave her a moment to compose herself. Helena had little experience in the opposite sex and she was sure it was the excitement of something new that got her heartbeat to thump in time with Mal’s because she couldn’t be feeling this way so quickly, could she? Didn’t these sort of things happen gradually over time? Like Greta and Alex, or Hettie and Leo, or James and Lily, they were all destined for great love and it had taken them all years to get together.

                    Love?

“Um, yea, yea sure, I would love to. I was planning to have a bite, it will be even better with such great company.” She said quickly, maybe too quickly. It was typically a dead giveaway that she was eavesdropping mentally and her blush was a dead giveaway that she was excited at the prospect of catching up. Her words were clear about what she thought of him and she felt maybe she was flirting for the first time. But what was she to do about it? Stowing her bags under her stool she slipped onto the seat , pulling off her gloves. “You’re ahead of your time Mal.” she complimented, impressed that he already had a foot into his future. “I don’t think enough students get a jump start on their careers, myself included. Good on you!"

[Malcolm Rabnott]

As Helena smiled at him with such warmth, the lad felt transparent under her eye. It was the oddest thing to reckon with, knowing that she very well could be hearing his thoughts, that she could be tracking which ones he chose to say and which he kept to himself inside. Mal hadn't had too many crushes, but none - save the one here with him - had had the opportunity to know his feelings before he'd mustered the courage to make some sort of move. If they knew each other better, if he knew what that smile meant - did she find his rambling endearing, entertaining? or so dull that she was simply being polite? - then they would be on a more even footing. Not like you're on trial here, Malcolm. Just catching time with a bonny lass. And even if you've never been here before, she must have. She knows how to handle it. He didn't recall seeing the Ravenclaw graduate date while they were at school, but in no world would a sweetheart like her not have had someone interested in her before. He'd have to trust that whatever potential embarrassment lying in wait for him would be worth it, something that became easier to believe when she took his arm and wished him well. He took a steadying breath and met her eye, a smile of his own mirroring hers as he thanked her simply. She doesn't even think you need luck! 

The invitation was hardly off his tongue before she'd accepted it, which made Mal break out into a proper grin. While the speed of her reaction hinted that she'd had a head start on knowing what he was going to ask, he couldn't find it within him to be bothered. If Helena was tuning in and still wanted to spend more time with him, that was a good thing! Now all he had to hope for was that Tom wouldn't take the mickey out of him for putting another order in after he'd just cleared a lunch plate. "Grand!" he exclaimed as she got settled, pocketing his notes and immediately missing having something for his hands to fiddle with.

He felt his face growing warm at her compliment, and his grin was going nowhere. "Yeah? Thanks, Helena - I mean, I don't want to feel old too young or anything like that, but I think I'll feel...steadier when I know what's happening next, at least in terms of what I'll be doing." The future held many great unknowns in it, and Mal wasn't foolish or arrogant enough to think he could prepare for everything. But he felt that he would be doing right by himself and his family in getting right to it, in preparing to support himself for now, and laying the groundwork to support others. When the time came. Years from now. "How about you, then?" he asked, pushing thoughts of the distant future out of his mind to focus on the present that was this unexpected time with Helena. "Life outside the castle, how's it been for you?"

[Helena Goldstein]

They were smiling, they were staring, they were blushing. They were doing all the things Helena had seen a hundred couples do thousand times only this time they were doing them. She was doing them. The blonde could hardly believe her own reality or the reality of the way her chest felt tight with feeling. Sometimes it was hard to decipher her own feels from others when she was so engrossed in their mind but now, even though she was hanging on Malcolm's every thought, she was absolutely certain the attraction she was experiencing was her own. Luckily, her interest felt much the same about her as she did about him and was apparently as nervous as she was. Nervous, excited, it was hard to tell the two apart, wasn’t it? “I’ll just have the pie, Tom. And a warm butterbeer please.” she said to the barkeep as he came over, almost forgetting they were in a bustling pub and not in a quiet corridor of Hogwarts. Then she turned to Malcolm with a guilty eye, pitching her voice lower. “You don’t have to eat, I...it’s just that I know you already ate. So, anyway don’t eat on my account.”

    Can you be any more invasive?

        Yes, I could tell him that I know he likes me, and finds me pretty, and thinks I’m a sweetheart….

Thankfully conversation between them was not as awkward as her feelings, and it flowed as easily as it always had. Only now it was littered with a bit more interest and definitely more compliments on her part. It was all heartfelt, she really was impressed by him, but hadn’t she always been? “Steadier. I think that’s a word I need to aspire to.” She said with a tinge of sadness in her smile. She had never felt particularly ‘steady’, with her gift, and later her home life, and now her adult life taking its turn to test her, she had always felt just a little off kilt. It kept her on her toes for sure. But Malcolm wasn’t like her, she could read in his thoughts that he was already thinking of his long-term life goals, and what generous, beautiful goals they were. Helena felt she was barely taking care of herself and Malcolm was already thinking of taking care of a...family.

When he turned the conversation to her own life Helena was glad she was the only one able to read minds. “Like I said, I didn’t prepare as well as you are.” she joked to cover her melancholy over her current affairs. Something in her wanted to tell him everything, which was a new feeling where the younger was concerned. For now, she settled for the short of it. “I actually, um, just quit my job recently.” That confession was oddly clarifying. “I think I just panicked at the end of school, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I just applied at the Ministry and I got on at the Portkey Office. But...that didn’t work out. So, I’m unemployed, living with my Gran, and I guess I still don’t know what I want to do.”

    Great job Goldie, he won’t be interested in you for very much longer you keep talking like that!

            …..

[Malcolm Rabnott]

He quieted as Tom returned, content to simply be at the bar with his new company, but shortly felt his face glow crimson at the look in Helena's eye and the words that quickly followed. Caught out already, am I? "I'll have the same, thanks Tom," Mal said with a chuckle, lightly knocking his knees against the young woman's as the barkeep went off with a knowing look of his own. "I can always eat - bottomless pit in here, I swear," Mal continued in a smiling undertone with a pat to his stomach, willing the color to leave his face as briskly as it had arrived. At home, while surely it was the combined effort of the six of them that led to leftovers being as unlikely a truly foolproof de-gnoming, Dad would joke that he'd built another greenhouse just for their family use ever since Mal joined the Hufflepuff team. A little pie and butterbeer wouldn't hurt a thing.

The lad's brows twitched up in concern at the shift in her smile, the acknowledgement of steadiness as an aspiration she needed to hold herself to. Malcolm listened carefully as Helena went on, hoping she didn't mind him asking when she seemed so discontent with where she currently was. He had no doubt that she would find her footing; someone with her drive and quiet determination could never be down and out for long. She had tried something, it hadn't fit for whatever reason - You'll be wanting something different, more - more personal than an office? - and she had listened to her instincts and left. It was admirable to make such a change, and with any luck she would see it that way, even if it didn't seem like she felt it now.

"You're allowed to take your time, try different things out," he assured as he met her eye, wanting to do something more to comfort her, to reach for her hand...After another moment's deliberation, he abruptly did so and gave it a light squeeze. "If it wasn't the right place for you, then it was right of you to leave, so I'm glad you did. I bet your Gran's chuffed to have you with her, besides." Mal swallowed and pocketed his hands in his jacket, notes and nose crinkling as he gave a smile. "Are you in Falmouth yet, then?"

[Helena Goldstein]

“I remember!” she said with a quiet chuckle, thinking back to the short time ago at Hogwarts when they had shared meals in the great hall together. Helena remembered seeing him put away enough food to feed two people, but that wasn’t uncommon, especially among the Quidditch players. When she laughter had died down she gave him a side-long glance. “Thanks for eating with me anyway, meals are always better shared.” As a child, her family had shared almost all meals together, but that had changed as the Goldstien children grew older, and by her graduation, she was eating all of her meals on her own. It was also what was nice about being with Gran. But Mal, he was a different kind of company altogether.

You’re not related to him at all.

    And you like him.

Talk shifted to a more somber note when her current circumstances came up. Well, somber for her, she was still adjusting to her first-time job failure, but Mal, Mal was nothing but confident optimism on her behalf. Helena found herself smiling fondly and instantly feeling much better at his words, both spoken and unspoken. Because she was determined to find her place in the world, and he was right that she needed someplace personal, he thought she was brave for leaving besides. Helena was so touched by all this that she could barely contain reaching out to hug him at his indecision to take her hand, she settled for returning the pressure of his hand as he held hers when he did find the courage to reach out. Malcolm was right, that place wasn’t right for her, but there was somewhere out there that was, and she would find it.

“Thanks for that.” she said simply, meeting his eye and giving him a warm smile as he withdrew, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.” She would be repeating his thoughts to herself whenever she felt down about the Ministry not being in her career anymore. For now, she was happy to talk about her grandmother, because she was extraordinary and easily one of the blonde’s favorite people on earth. “Falmouth has always been my home. I grew up with Mum and Da further north, and Gran lives more in the southeastern region.” Not so much Mum anymore though. Helena didn’t think this impromptu meet-up could take any more of her problems, so she kept that bit of information to herself. “And I think I’m just as excited to be with her as she is to have me. She’s amazing, and she has all of these animals I get to take care of. We play exploding snap, we cook together and drink cider and rum and laugh, I’m really liking it, as you can tell.” Feeling like she was rambling on, she took a deep breath, nodding her head towards the notes he had stowed away. “Sorry, I could go on about Gran. What about you? Ready for that interview?”

[Malcolm Rabnott]

"You remember?" Luck was against him in terms of the redness in his cheeks fading anytime soon - no way for that when a girl he fancied had memory of him filling his plate from across the Great Hall - but that didn't hold Mal back from sharing in her laughter. Life was too short for such embarrassments to detract from the joy of it all, especially as her memory meant she'd paid some attention to him back then too. He nodded, knee giving hers a light nudge. "Couldn't agree more, was odd being here by myself." He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a meal alone before today, now that he thought about it, but it was good preparation for being out and about in the world on his own in a few short months. Although, perhaps he wouldn't have to prepare for every meal to be just him. There were - there would be friends to call on, of course, but if Helena was still around and amiable...

Luck turned his way again, fickle thing, as talk turned to her present. Helena was smiling anew at his take on her situation, and didn't appear to think he'd overstepped in expressing himself. Losing the warmth of her hand in his didn't dim the burgeoning heat in his chest that grew stronger with every look she gave him, and Mal felt himself start to ease. Nerve-wracking as it was, in a way, to have this unexpected one-on-one time with her...She was a comforting presence, Helena, and that he'd been able to lend a helpful word or two to someone who needed them? "Glad to help, and - and if you ever want, I mean, I'm in the habit of giving advice. Usually to the little ones - but we forget we deserve encouragement too, you know?" The lad cleared his throat, smile stretching her way after a moment's debate. "Might just send an owl your way from time to time, if that's alright. Because I know whatever it is you'll be doing next, or after the next - it'll all lead you where you're supposed to be. Doesn't quite matter how many stops there are along the way, you'll learn from them all."

Malcolm couldn't take his eyes off her as Helena spoke, lit with warmth anew as she gave details of her new life. He didn't want her to stop, not really, not when he could so easily picture being there at the farm, or having her to his family's. Getting slightly ahead of yourself, aren't you? While they didn't formally keep many animals, there was never a quiet moment, not with the chickens needing tending and the few sheep prone to escaping pasture and the old sheepdogs doing their best to keep everyone in line. "No need to apologize," he grinned, "I'm happy you're happy there. Sounds like an absolute lark, lucky you!"

"I think I am. I am," Mal corrected, definitive, as he unfolded his papers. "I've got my marks, some nice words from Headmaster Dumbledore, Professor Sprout...I want to make an impression, you know? Be memorable to them for the right things." A deep breath and a smile her way, Tom returning with their orders, and he chuckled. "What do you think, would you pass me through to the next round?"

[Helena Goldstein]

He fancies me…

    ….

        And I fancy him.

            We fancy each other!

That was a heady thought and as Malcolm knocked his knee to hers it drove home her revelation. There was a mutual attraction between them, something altogether new to her. Sure, she had liked people before but it seemed they never liked her enough for it to matter. And there had been people who admired her, who maybe even wanted something more than mere friendship, but she had not felt the same. See, it was always half of the whole that was required to build a relationship. With Malcolm however…well, maybe it could be something. Helena tried not to get her hopes up too much. “Of course, I remember. I remember you Mal, full plates and the like.” There. Now there would be no question of whether she had seen him all those years at Hogwarts. Honestly, who hadn’t seen him! He was an absolute stud. She had been privy to many inappropriate thoughts about her companion over the years, from both sexes no less, and that was saying something.

Merlin, she was infinitely grateful again, that she was the only one who could read thoughts. Because if Mal had heard the indiscernible glee in her mind at his mention of owling her, he would have known how invested she was already. It would have scared him off, for sure. “Yea, we forget too. Good thing we have you around to remind us, you give great advice Malcolm. Good enough to make a lost soul feel like perhaps it’s not so lost after all. And I’m going to trust you on that. Eventually, I’ll find my place.” Helena sincerely hoped so because currently she was adrift and in need a new anchor in her life. If she was lucky, she would get more than one rock to hold on to a new job and… Malcolm. “Owl me whenever, I’ll look forward to hearing from you. I already can’t wait.” Too forward? No. She would not concern herself with what may be too bold or not, she would simply be honest, and true to herself, and let the chips fall where they may. She suspected that part of her problem in navigating life was that she simply thought too much.

Going on about her Nan was something she could do all day and suddenly she wanted to do more than talk about her, she wanted Mal to meet her for himself. So that she could show him how spectacular her Nan was, and so that her Nan could see how amazing and kind Mal was, and how smitten she was with him already. She was on the verge of asking him when she thought better of it, not wanting to rush into anything until she was sure. “I’m very lucky.” she said instead.

And there you are, thinking again.

    All I do is think, and listen to everyone else think; there’s nothing for it.

“Here, let me look.” Helena said, gently taking his pages and running a finger over the creases. It was obvious that they had been handled quite a lot and she smiled at that, he was nervous for no reason. As she looked them over and listened to his credentials, and the impressive recommendations he received, it was clear to her he didn’t have anything to worry over. She sent a smile of thanks as Tom sat their steaming food before them before turning her attention to Mal. “No, I don’t think I would send you through.” she said, bumping her shoulder with his. “I think I would hire you on the spot.” Folding the pages carefully, she tucked them back into his pocket. “Really, Mal. I think you’ll do great. You will make a good impression because you’re a good person and you’re perfect for the job. They’ll be lucky to have you.”

[Malcolm Rabnott]

"Well...I remember you too," Mal grinned, feeling foolishly on top of the world that the girl remembered even one detail about him from their shared time. Not that he thought so lowly of himself that he figured he was forgettable - he'd just thought he'd been the only one paying attention, and that when she graduated, that was...well, that. Any what if's he'd pondered over them as a pair had been gently tucked away like keepsakes last June. Helena wasn't exactly the one who got away...she was the one he regretted not trying with, when he'd had the chance. Didn't think you'd get a chance again, did you? "Feel silly that I - that I never asked you to do this before."

While he hated hearing that she felt like a lost soul, Mal was relieved that not only did Helena not seem to think he'd overstepped, but that she truly did want to hear from him after this. This was not at all a piece of the day he'd imagined, and for all his encouragement to others in pursuing dreams of any kind, perhaps he hadn't spent enough time imagining things like this for himself. He was content and busy with his friends, being a prefect, being part of the Hufflepuff team, working towards his career. He was. He always figured that when the time was right for his other half to come into the picture, that he'd just...know. There'd be some sort of impulse, or sign, and he'd know - and in the meantime, he had put that part of life to the side. She was stirring something up inside him all the same, and her words... He wondered if she'd read any muggle books, that if he said not all those who wander are lost if she would carry it forward, if her older siblings had read to her like he read to his little ones, or if she'd done the reading to them, or if she preferred books without talking dragons. He wondered what would happen if he sent her an owl tonight, and if they really might write to each other sometimes, and what then when he was living here? He wondered - and it felt unsteadying to wonder, granted, but he couldn't find it in him to stop. Not yet. "You're going to find your place," Mal nodded, in full faith. "And I already can't wait to get your letter back."

She took up his pages and he watched as she observed them, paying as much mind to the words as to the effects of his worrying, and if he'd had more of his wits about him yet, perhaps he would have been embarrassed anew. But he couldn't be, not when Helena was treating them with such care. He'd taken a sip of his butterbeer by the time she spoke, and swallowed it too quickly, coughing into his opposite shoulder before looking to her in reignited concern. She wouldn't hire - oh she did not. Mal covered his face in his hands and laughed, heart doing a funny jerk as he felt her at his pocket. You're far too wound up for the interview. Relax. Isn't that what you were doing here in the first place? He breathed a great breath in, and out, emerging with a bemused look on his face. "You, Helena Goldstein, are just who I needed to run into today. Saving me from myself. And we've got pie." 

[Helena Goldstein]

Helena tried not to, as a general rule, but it was hard to refrain with Malcom. She wanted too badly to know what he was really thinking and with her gift, she could. So she did, trying with all her might not to let her eyes un-focus the way all her friends said they did when she was eavesdropping. The blonde didn’t need to though, as Mal said what he was thinking out loud, no guesswork or research was needed. A blush rushed up her face at his admission. “Well, I-I agree.”

Merlin, Helena, stuttering is not very attractive.

    And what is that, ‘I agree’...?

She swatted away those unhelpful thoughts, acknowledging the fact that she was not very smooth in this department, and wondering what would it have been like to have gotten together while they were still at Hogwarts. The gossip would have been out of this world! Besides, she spend her early years finding her way through the social maze of the castle, the next few with her head in a book, and then there was the little fact of…”Sylvia may not have liked that very much last year.” She joked lightly, bringing to the surface a clear reason they had remained as just friends, especially at the end of her time at school. It was clear from his thoughts that he was thinking about it now, the same as she was, but there wasn’t much use in wondering, those days were behind them. Brighter days were ahead, as Mal had convinced her, and the gods willing, she would get to spend more time with him in them.

They were already setting up correspondence by owl and for her part, she was already thinking of a good time to have him over to her Nan’s. They seemed to be on the exact same page and Helena couldn’t be happier about it. Did these things always seem to slip so perfectly into place? After all the time they had spent in one place…it seemed to…easy. Hadn’t Nan always said to never look a gift horse in the mouth? Right now seemed like a good time to follow that advice and not think too deeply about the kismet of it all. It just felt right. And intimate. The way the looked at each other, the way she seemed to tingle when she barely grazed him, it was all telling of the mutual attraction they were feeling. She didn’t need to read his thoughts to know what he was thinking, it was nice that he spoke his truth. “Likewise. It was fate, that we met. We needed each other today.” To prove her point, she picked up his utensil and placed it in his hand, wrapping his fingers around it deliberately and trying not to melt at the feeling that grew within her. “Relax.” she said firmly, enforcing what he was thinking. “You are going to be amazing. Try not to worry.” To lead by example she dug into her own pie, remembering how famished she really was. For the moment food held her focus.

[Malcolm Rabnott]

Mal was transparent. Absolutely, undeniably, transparent.

His comment could have been taken as friendly, nothing more. Friends got together for pie and a chat and no one raised a brow or thought it worth discussing with anyone's significant other. But in gently bringing up his ex-girlfriend by name, Helena...knew. She knew that, however offhand he had tried to make it, he'd meant regretting them not meeting as more than friends. And she would see right through whatever backtracking he could've tried, to reinforce that he'd just been talking of them as clubmates, to slow things down. She'd see with her intuition, her gift - and his give-it-all-away face.

Keep you honest -

    Wasn't trying to be anything else - 

She agrees, that's good -

"Yeah - yeah, of course," he stammered, smiling through a sudden fluster as he struggled in the moment, having some difficulty gripping onto an exact why. So, he was easy to read. Helena could tell that he had more-than-friendly feelings for her. That wasn't anything to feel insecure about, not when she'd been just as thrilled to see him as he was to run into her, she may have similar feelings. It didn't feel like she was just being polite, settling in to spend this unexpected time together. But there was - there was an imbalance, and he was having trouble holding his footing. What was it like for her and her close friends and family, knowing there were no secrets?

Not that you were trying for a secret, but - subtlety? To go at your own pace?

    Left to your own devices, you'd never get the nerve to ask her out. Just look at the last few years - you never did.

So - so she knows. So what? She's still here. You were just...caught off-guard. 

"We're - er - we're just friends again, Sylvie and I. Have been since the start of summer." And I'm haven't seen anyone else. "Sorry, I don't know...what you already know?" Malcolm cracked a knowing smile, cocking his head to the side. It wasn't unusual for him to fumble a bit around a pretty girl - he was The Hair, not The Talker, after all - but Mal did hope that he wasn't completely putting her off. That this wouldn't be the only chance he had to sit down with her, just the two of them. Given time, and privacy and permission for questions, he knew his comfort with her would only grow. He felt a little foolish, thinking like that when he still had months left at Hogwarts - but what if he didn't only have work to look forward to after graduation?

The moment of uncertainty passed, she gave him the pep talk he'd needed all day, and his eyes found hers as she wrapped his fingers around the fork. That feeling of foolishness flitted away at Helena's touch, the warm look in her eye, and he broke into a chuckle as she repeated his internal instruction back to him. "Thank you. I'll try my best," he promised simply, affectionately, scooping up a forkful of fruit pie. He gave a contented hum - the pie was better fare than most of what was offered here - and checked his watch. The minutes were going slowly, thank Merlin, but he'd have to keep a better eye on the time. "What are you and your gran getting up to for the holiday?"

[Helena Goldstein]

For the love of Merlin and all things holy…

    I’ve totally blown this.

        There. I’ve gone and done what I always do.

Helena did really try not to let her gift get in the way of, well, everything. It had a knack for ruining things anyway, no matter how much effort she put into it. Even the smallest thought, one she shouldn’t know, would slip out and now she had made Mal uncomfortable. Her chest tightened, kicking herself for not letting him come to it on his own. The admittance that he liked her, that he had been thinking of them together even when she was still at Hogwarts. She had outed him without much effort on her part, but isn’t that what she always did? Alright maybe not always, but enough times to make her embarrassed. Maybe she could say something, make it better somehow…even as the thought occurred to her, she knew she would likely only make it worse. Sometimes the best course of action was to do nothing -jeesh, some of her friends would faint if she said that out loud!- so that’s what she did nothing.

Not exactly nothing, she did listen, very rudely, to Malcolm's inner thoughts. He seemed to be working it out on his own and hadn’t excused himself and left her yet, she took those as good signs and swallowed back the tears that were threatening. Helena had gotten quite good at stemming an oncoming bought of crying and found more often than not that such displays of emotion were not warranted. Mal came around, mostly, and they were able to continue their conversation. She was even able to chuckle a little at his question. “I’m not omnipresent,” she assured him. “Unless someone is specifically thinking about it, I’ll never know. And I didn’t know, so we’re clear.” Helena nibbled at her lip, debating on whether or not to say more.

Screw it.

    It’s honestly the least I can do after that stupid comment about Sylvia.

“I’m, uh, glad that you’re not, you know, anymore with Davies. I mean she’s great, but…I’m good too.” Well, if the objective was to ease his discomfort about having his mind be an open book, then that ridiculously embarrassing speech was definitely the thing to do it. She hoped. If she could, Helena would have gladly crawled under a rock at that moment but she couldn’t bring herself to regret her, admittedly lame and yet totally honest, declaration. It gave her confidence to reach out and help him along with his meal, to further drive home her point that he was not alone in his feelings, and to encourage him to have more confidence in himself. As much as she had in him, she knew he was going to ace his interview!

They each dug into their meals and Helena felt that they were more at ease now that their awkwardness was over. She made a more concentrated effort to not make comments on any inner thoughts, but she didn’t allow herself to spiral over it. As Mal had cleverly thought earlier, her friends and family had all managed to find a way to love her, and maybe Malcolm could too. There she was thinking of love again, and gushing about her Nan, when had she gotten so sappy? “Um, I’m going to see some friends for a gift exchange on Christmas Eve morning, then Nan always cooks and brings food to the local muggle shelter, so I’ll do that with her this year and then we’ll probably drink and eat cake. And Christmas morning will be presents around the fire and Christmas-berry scones. My brothers will come over for lunch and I’ll go see my parents that night. What about you?”

[Malcolm Rabnott]

All of a sudden, this felt undeniably fragile, and Mal's heart raced at the thought of misstepping and breaking the delicate bridge growing between them. Helena's kind face fell, and he felt like an absolute tosser for bringing her down. She'd done nothing wrong - even without her gift, guessing that he fancied her would've been a fully reasonable assumption - and he wished he could take back his obvious embarrassment. And that he had more experience with girls, purely so that he'd not be so caught off guard while talking with one he fancied. That lack of practice was biting the already nervous lad on the arse, but - bless her - Helena took his query well. He met her eye as she clued him in, giving a nod of understanding and staying quiet as she seemed to turn something over in her mind. His attention darted to her lips and back up as Mal caught himself wondering again, for what if they'd had this kind of talk while they were both at school? If the timing had been right, would they have stumbled through this conversation earlier? And if they had, could something have come of it then?

Making a lot of assumptions there, Malcolm, you don't know if she -

The Hufflepuff beamed as Helena spoke up, letting out a quiet laugh in relief as her meaning settled in. No one in his circles had expressed being glad at the breakup, even if it was the best thing for both him and Sylvie to find their way back to being friends, instead of continuing in a relationship that would undoubtedly end when school was through. A weighty decision at the time, to be sure - he hadn't wanted to lose her from his life, and she'd returned from a summer spent in the sun and dance halls of Paris, stunning and sure of herself as he'd ever seen her - but the right move for the long run. And despite the difficulty, Helena was putting herself out there, evening out their playing field, and he couldn't have been more grateful. "You're not just good," he assured in earnest. "You're extraordinary, Helena. Thanks for that," he continued, sending a knowing smile her way. She was, she really was. She didn't have to do that, make herself as vulnerable as he was, but she had, and Mal didn't take that for granted.

As they continued through his notes and into their treat, the lad felt the presence of their shared knowledge as vividly as if it had taken form, taken up a stool, and sat right between them, tapping its foot impatiently as it waited for him to do something about it. There was a chance here, waiting for him to take it, and Mal knew his siblings were going to take the mickey out of him for dragging this out. But in easing into talking of further holiday plans, he hoped for a natural opening... Rising further in esteem for her and her nan, and happy for the festivities that she had to look forward to - always good to keep busy to ease worries, eh? - he swallowed a bite and shot her a grin. "Sounds grand! We'll be stepping on each other's toes in the kitchen the next few days," he laughed, "lots to bake and roast, and everybody has their responsibilities. I'm taking a crack at the yule bannock this year, and Ma's been asked to search around for bugbear, some of the other farms around have been having problems. We'll get out this weekend for that, set up some more protections before the festivities regardless." Stop stalling. "And if you'd - if you'd be game for it, after the holiday, I'd really like to see you again." They had their plan to exchange letters, and if all went well, that's exactly what he'd do. But if he kept waiting, if he didn't show her today that he really did feel something for her, after all that she had shared and all that she knew, he worried that they might truly miss their chance at finding something together. This already felt too precious to let it pass them by, and he could only hope she felt the same.