The Candid Closet

[Helena Goldstein]

Hogwarts Harold

The Candid Closet 

Advice Column by Demi

3rd of October, 1977

Dazed in the Den writes,

Dear Demi,


I have found an attraction in the most unexpected person, and I’m completely hopeless to know how to deal with it. I’m currently in a relationship, it is not serious but we are together publicly, and this certain someone that I like...well, let’s just say I’ve never been quiet about disliking them in the past. I’m pretty sure he feels the same about me regardless. It’s just, I don’t want to hurt anyone, truly, but I also want to pursue this, however insane it may turn out to be. How do I keep from causing pain to my boyfriend while still pursuing my own happiness?


Demi, please help.

Dearest Dazed,

Thank you so much for coming to the closet with your problem. I would be happy to help. First and foremost you have to tell your partner the truth. It may hurt them to hear that you do not want to be with them, that you want to be with someone else, but it would hurt worse to not be told. A one-sided relationship is good for no one. Sometimes, it is not about not hurting someone and more about gauging the degree of pain you cause, because pain is, unfortunately, inevitable. Some things just don’t work out. Only once you have broken things off officially would it be appropriate to pursue other ventures. The implied past between the two of you is something you would need to work out among yourselves and will no doubt entail at least one lengthy conversation. But I believed that where true feeling shows, love will always grow. The moral I suppose, is that complete, candid, open honestly with all parties is the kindest way to handle the situation. Good luck in your pursuit Dazed!

XOXO
Demi

---

All letters to Demi may be submitted to me via PM on Skype. Please include a date, and time if necessary. Letters will be posted here with Demi's reply. Enjoy!

[Helena Goldstein]

Bewildered Burrower writes. 

Dear Demi,

...Muggle London isn’t home anymore, not like it once was, and I feel so out of place when I’m there. I wanted so badly to tell my parents.... I don’t know how to tell them what I want without making them think that I don’t love them enough to be near them, or that I’m not grateful for everything they’ve done for me. If I choose to stay here... where they can’t follow…does it mean we’ll fall apart? But isn’t it best that we go where we belong, even if that means we aren’t together?

Please advise!

Dearest Burrower,

I feel the struggle in your heart and thank you so much for trusting me with it, I think I may have some words to help. While I cannot fully sympathize, I think I can empathize with your plight, because really, it’s not quite so different from anyone striking out into the world on their own. We all face tough decisions and come up against insurmountable odds, and yes, most of us leave home. Some don’t go so far, some go thousands of miles into the wide wild world, on their own. It’s the way it’s meant to be, I believe, to mark your own place in the world, your own way. There is no way to predict how your parents will react but I trust that though it may be difficult to hear, you will have the courage to tell them and they will love you regardless. And as long as there is love, bonds can be mended. It will be up to you to put in the effort to keep them such as you go where they cannot follow. I have all the confidence in you Burrower, good luck.

XOXO
Demi