Aug. 14: To Be Free: Lucius...

[Narcissa Malfoy]

▶︎ I can see the flowers and the greenery
I take a breath of air, I feel free
Spent so long, was busy chasing happiness
When all I needed was a little peace...

"What do you think?"

"The dress is simply perfect, darling, he'll love it."

"Your mother's right - come here, child...You have done well. This year has not been without difficulty, but if you stay focused, you can achieve what your sister could - "

"I'm going to be late, Father. I have this all in hand, believe me. But please, I mustn't be late..."

Narcissa stepped through the shifting brick wall and into Diagon Alley, a practiced smile of serenity on her face as she looked about for her date. She tried to put her parents' words from her mind, but they had been - they had been so irritating all summer. It would be different if anyone in her household could say Andromeda's name. She had heard it all too much - a difficult year, a troubling time, a temporary disgrace, the embarrassment - but her parents could not acknowledge anything of substance regarding the trials they had been through as a family, as individuals. Did it not pain them that their own child wanted nothing to do with them and the life they had built for her? Did they not care for her pain? No - they would only mention one of their tired phrases and leap forward. The engagement she was sure to have after graduation next summer. What skills she had yet to practice in preparation of running a home. Forward, or into questions that were further irritating as they put doubt onto her attachment with Lucius. Their families had an agreement, and they were devoted to each other. Why the others had to push and prod and pressure was beyond her...

And she dared not bring her sensitivities up to her sister; Bella had chosen anger, Andy was blasted from the tapestry, she was dismissed, disowned, done. Only her dearest friends and Lucius were willing to engage with her truthfully about the ordeal, to hear her pain and not think her silly for it, and she was so grateful. Lucius was more connected to Andy than she could hope to be again, and the knowledge he shared with her - it hurt, it angered, it bewildered, and she guarded the new truths in her heart.

Andromeda was a Healer. She was newly a mother. 

She was living a whole new life, this - this stranger with her sister's face. The stranger who had written to not look for her, who had no desire to belong to their family anymore, who was building her own without them. There was a little girl out there, Andy had brought her into the world, and it choked her up to think she would never know -

Narcissa had had much to occupy herself with in this longest of years, with a whirlwind romance, squashing rumors and supplying better ones, a public disappointment that she was still trying to latch onto the silver lining of, that at least she would not have to get her hands dirty with the work the Lord needed to be done... She could often keep busy enough to keep herself from wondering. But being back home, sleeping in the bed she had all but confined herself to upon receiving Andy's note last summer...whenever the day would allow, Cissa was away to the stables, apparating to a friend's, or to meet her beau...

Next summer, she would hardly have to return to her family home. She would be living a whole new life herself. That thought was bright enough to relax her smile, for her to really feel the warmth of the summer sun on her arms and the light energy of the street, and her steps quickened at spying her beau. "I've missed you, my love," she beamed, the sentiment true if they were apart for months or only days, and wrapped her arms around him to give him a kiss hello.

[Lucius Malfoy]

Lucius knew his plan today ran the risk of angering some of the Black family. But it wasn’t the family he cared for, it was Narcissa who had his love. And he knew this was something that she needed, even if she didn’t know it. He’d spent so much of their past months together giving her tidbits of information about her sister, and although Andy found his questions prying and annoying she always gave him an answer. He suspected that before he’d asked her to meet them in Diagon Alley today, she already knew that he was keeping Narcissa informed. He knew Andy well enough to know that it had hurt her to leave Narcissa behind and that she kept her distance so that her younger sister would not face the wrath of her older sister. It was a complicated situation, and Lucius tried to be impartial. But it was hard when he saw the pain on Narcissa’s face when she talked about Andromeda.

So a date to Diagon Alley, something simple that no one would suspect was planned. Because it was natural to run into someone you knew here, and he hoped that if someone was to come along they would think it was an accidental meeting and not a meticulously planned event. He shifted back and forth as he waited for Narcissa, hoping that she wouldn’t be angry with him. He wanted to make her happy, and he thought a meeting with Andromeda would do just that. The bricks opened, and he flashed Narcissa a smile as she approached him. She looked as radiant as ever, and he happily returned her kiss. “I’ve missed you too. How has it been being with your parents?” he asked her, sure he knew the answer. No one talked about what happened, and while Lucius didn’t have siblings he did understand that pretending someone never existed was not the correct way to deal with things.

Intertwining their fingers, he started them down the path towards Fortescue’s, where he’d told Andromeda to meet them. He hoped she was already there, but he knew that she had a baby and he had heard enough about babies to know that sometimes they dictated the schedule of their parents. “I know it’s rather early for ice cream, but I thought perhaps it would be a good place to start our day,” he said with a glance at her before he scanned the tables outside as they approached. He saw her quickly, her dark hair giving her away, and he stopped to turn and block Narcissa from spotting her, “I hope this makes you happy, and not angry with me, my love.” Taking a step out of the way, he nodded towards Andromeda.

[Andromeda Tonks]

This was foolish, so much harm could come from this. But Andy so desperately wanted to see her sister that she had agreed to Lucius plan. Having her daughter had made her miss Narcissa even more, knowing how wonderful of an aunt her sister would be. She’d considered more than once sending an owl, but she couldn’t trust that her parents wouldn’t get to the letter before her sister. And if Bella found out? Andy could just imagine the anger that would be directed at Cissy, and her younger sister didn’t need that. Right now everything was going wonderfully for Narcissa, at least according to Lucius. The two of them were a smart match, but she did hope that Lucius was growing up a little. He relied too much on his family name instead of his own ability to survive in the world.

She’d found a seat at Fortescue’s, Nymphadora tucked against her chest as she slept. She’d not mentioned to Ted why she was going out today, fearing that he’d talk her out of it. He never understood her family, and she got that. They were difficult to understand. But Narcissa was more like her than she was Bella, and Andromeda had to hope that meant they could at least see each other on occasion if this worked out. She was fiddling with the menu when she heard Lucius’ voice and looked up to see him with Narcissa. It was like she couldn’t breathe, her younger sister so much more grown-up than Andy remembered her being. She blinked back the tears in her eyes, determined not to cry, and watched as Lucius moved out of the way. Standing, she took a few steps toward her sister, hoping that Narcissa wouldn’t leave and instead would be willing to talk. “Cissa…”

[Narcissa Malfoy]

"Exhausting," Narcissa answered with a breath of a laugh, pressing another swift kiss to his lips before they got on their way hand-in-hand. "At first, I wanted the summer to pass quickly, the faster to have some space from them," she continued honestly. "But then I'd be back to only seeing you once a month, so I can't wish for that. I know, there's nothing to be done about it, we will get through the next months as we did last year - it's a testament to you, though, how hard it will be for me to leave, despite everything."

She knew that she would have to come to terms with what she could and could not control, to gain any peace of mind, but that was taking time. And come September, and things demanded by a calendar that were far out of her control, Cissa would sorely miss the man at her side. She had taken his heart, not fully realizing then just how much of her own she'd give in the process. She had hoped for her love to be her companion, to have passion and friendship alike, and to have found that person in Lucius? Someone who was not only devastatingly handsome, wealthy, and self-possessed, but kind to her? Who took to horseback with her, who was graceful in championship and when he came in second, who was so patient with her too as she resisted the temptation to jump into his bed, to focus on building something more before taking that leap? Truly, they would have to force her onto the train.

She raised a quizzical brow as Lucius began about ice cream so early in the day, but he sounded excited about the prospect, so who was she to deny him when he had given her so much? "As long as we can still beat the rush to the shops," she grinned. "Madam Malkin should be nearly through with my dresses for term, but I'd like to ensure she's on the right track." Having new gowns to look forward to did ease the pain of leaving, and no matter what her feelings on the matter, she would not be caught in last year's dresses at this year's masquerade or holiday parties. No, no, it would be worth checking in... Lucius abruptly came before her to pause them, and Narcissa looked to him in some bemusement as he spoke. It wasn't unlike him to include an element of surprise to their dates, but it wasn't like him to appear nervous. Or to question if she would be angry with him. She was about to protest, for surely nothing he had prepared for her could do such a thing, when he stepped aside.

Andy?

Her sister was there, mere feet away. Eyes shimmering, baby at her chest, calling her name. Her sister.

"What is this?" she hissed in panic, unwilling to cause a scene, unwilling to have a public breakdown as she was ambushed in an ice cream parlor. He did know her very well, didn't he? "She left me, Lucius. She made her wishes quite clear." Her clear voice trembled as she struggled to hold onto the onslaught of emotions at seeing Andromeda, and she gripped Lucius's hand to try and stop herself from trembling just as much, and to keep her in place. To feel that Lucius and Andromeda had kept in such close contact that this had come to be? That they had the time and space to scheme together? Lucius clearly loved her enough to feel that her happiness was his responsibility. And while that was as noble of a goal as she could dream of for her future husband, in action, this cut. Perhaps she had been overly emotional when Lucius had told her about the baby, she had asked too many questions about Andromeda's life, she had brought this upon herself - and it wasn't that she wanted them to be estranged forever, it wasn't unreasonable that he had seen through her weak attempts at disinterest, when she caught herself becoming more enthralled than she should. But while she routinely got what she desired, Narcissa had tried so hard to accept that this was the rare exception. 

How could so much have changed for Andy that she wanted the same? For she must - right? She wouldn't be here if she didn't? The answer may be in her arms, and try as she might, Narcissa couldn't keep her eyes from straying to the sleeping babe. When they finally met Andromeda's again, there was - the goodbye they'd never said, the pleas they never made to each other, there was too much to demand, too much to share, too much she wanted to skip past so that she could embrace her sister, so she could hold the little one...The words were strangled, the answer desperately needed. "Why did you come?"

[Lucius Malfoy]

Parents, in general, were exhausting. The long list of expectations from his own parents had only grown as his courtship with Narcissa blossomed, and questions about where and when he would propose were frequent topics at the manor these days. His mother insisted it was never too early to stop getting things in order, and it wasn’t as if he hadn’t considered how best to propose to her. But it was a year away, and he had to survive the upcoming term with only seeing her once a month. And that was where his concerns were because he had found that her presence in his life made him a better person. “Your return to school is something I too am not looking forward to. I’ve gotten used to seeing you so frequently, and I will miss our outings together.”

He knew there were many things Narcissa would rather do today than stop for ice cream in the morning, and she was so sweet to agree to his plan. “We will beat the rush, and perhaps order you another dress for the term, for your graduation perhaps?” Lucius didn’t know if Narcissa would be angry about what he planned today, but he did hope the promise of him spending money on her would be enough that she would at least speak to him after this. It had taken far too many trips to Mungos to get Andy to agree to this, and he hated hiding something like this from Narcissa.

His girlfriend's reaction was to be expected, and he squeezed her hand as she clung to him. It was an ambush, to do this so publicly, but if Bella had found that he had orchestrated a secret meeting between Narcissa and Andy? She’d do more than blast his face off a tapestry. He had to play this carefully so that if anyone was to see, it would look like nothing more than a mere chance meeting. Narcissa’s hissed words came from pain, that he knew well enough, because as angry as she wanted to be he knew that she wanted to know Andy again. And she wanted to know her niece, he knew her love for children and that she would want to know the baby. He kept his grip on her hand as she questioned her sister, shooting Andromeda an apologetic glance at the sharpness of Narcissa’s words.

[Andromeda Tonks]

What would Ted say, when he discovered what she had done today? He was at work, and she’d promised to bring Nymphadora by to meet his coworkers and hers. She wasn’t due back at work for a few more months and she was soaking in the time she got to spend with her daughter. And truly, while she’d tried to push off Lucius and deny him what he was requesting from her, she wanted to see Narcissa. She wanted to see her sister holding her daughter. She wanted to know all about her life with Lucius - did she love him? Did he make her happy? He was far better suited to Narcissa than he had been for her, and Andy knew their relationship wouldn’t have happened if she had stayed.

Narcissa was caught off guard and Andy tried not to be hurt as she watched her sister hiss words at Lucius. Andy had considered that maybe Narcissa wouldn’t want to see her, that she would simply walk away. That’s what she had done, she’d left in the middle of the night and never returned. It had hurt Narcissa, and that hurt was written all over her face. But what Andy also saw was her curiosity, as her sister's eyes looked to the sleeping baby against her chest. “Because I miss you,” she answered, chancing a step forward. “Because leaving you behind was the hardest decision to make. But I wasn’t trying to leave you, I was leaving them. And the life they wanted for me that I couldn’t do. I am sorry I hurt you,” she looked down at her daughter, free hand stroking the soft hair on her head. “This is Nymphadora, your niece.”

[Narcissa Malfoy]

Lucius's affirmation had her looking over with an adoring smile, already logging this morning into her memory, to fondly come back to in the months to come. How they had chosen to start the day early together, how brilliant he looked in the morning light, how their way was made easier by the natural parting of other witches and wizards they came upon as they strolled. "My family seems to be concerned you'll forget about me," Narcissa tested lightly, as if disinterested and disbelieving. She didn't believe he would - hadn't he proven himself already by courting her last year? - but until they were formally wed, there was a risk of another witch or another family attempting to swoop in during her absence. It was difficult to envision his daily life during the seasons in which she had, so far, been away. Even so, should an opportunity present itself - Lucius and his family weren't fool enough to endanger what they were building.

"You are eager for the year to pass," she laughed, delighted of the idea of starting preparation for her graduation dress. If she had been in other company today, she might have gone so far as to try on Malkin's collection of bridal gowns - just to better understand what suited her, of course...

The last thing she had expected out of their day was to come upon Andromeda and the baby. And in such a manner to leave no question on whether or not the encounter was planned by her and Lucius. To say that that left her feelings mixed was the understatement of her young life. On the one hand, this meant that she had Lucius's full endorsement to reconnect with her sister. As her future husband, his opinion on the matter was important - had he been against it, and she for it, some day down the line, would she have had the wherewithal to keep such a secret from him? - and perhaps even outweighed that of her parents and Bellatrix. Her future was to be interwoven with his completely, after all. And Andy was here, and had brought her child. She couldn't imagine what promises could have been made by Lucius to convince her - Andy wouldn't have agreed to take anything from him - and so, Andy must have chosen to come of her own accord. To see her, because they were sisters, and she missed her. On the other hand...should word get to their parents, to the Lestranges, to any gossip in town...should this be the face-to-face goodbye before Andy and her new family disappeared for good...

She and Lucius would be having words later, of that she was sure. But she was also sure, more than anything, that he had done this for her, and that she loved him for it. He had chosen her needs over her family's. And while she was not keen on his methods, could she blame him? What would she have said, had he come to her with this proposal? Would she have had the nerve to come, knowing who she would find?

Shimmering eyes locked onto her sister's as Andy spoke, she was so attuned to the music of her sister's voice that it rang clear over the din of the street, her heart ached with a painful clench at each beat, how deeply she needed the words to be true. She couldn't fathom what this would mean moving forward - but there was a future, now, that could include both of her sisters. Separately, of course, but - this was more than she had dared to hope for. Narcissa loosened her hold on Lucius, letting go of his hand as she moved stiffly towards Andy and the baby - Nymphadora. "She's beautiful, Andy. She favors you." She reached out, mimicking her sister's gentle movement as she brushed the baby's downy soft hair. "I miss you too," Narcissa whispered in a rush, voice wavering as she tried to hold herself together, hold herself in check, hold herself back. "I wish - I wish so much had gone differently. I wish there had been another way. You don't know what it's been like, without you. Or maybe you do," she acknowledged with a look to her boyfriend, "like I know of you, but it's not the same. It can't ever be the same."