Accidents Happen | Lupin's Cottage | Charlotte

[Daisy Hookum]

20 October 1981

Scheduling that kind of appointment at Mungo's had been one of the hardest things Daisy Pettigrew had ever had to do. She had imagined the day she would go in to see the doctor for this sort of thing would be one of joy and happiness, but instead it was one of fear and doubt. She had been so sure that it couldn't be possible, that they had been careful. But she was wrong, and her missed period wasn't simply because she was under a lot of stress. And while her first stop should have been to her own house in hopes that her husband was home, she couldn't. Whatever was going on with Peter right now was driving her insane, and she needed to talk to someone else before she sprung the news on him that they were expecting a child together. And so her brain directed her to the next place she could think of, Charlotte and Remus' house. There was a good chance that Remus wouldn't be home, not with how busy the order kept them these days. But Charlotte, she would be there. She simply had to be there.

Standing on the front porch, she could hardly stop the tears that began to fall as she knocked on the door. She could hear movement inside, and she didn't wait for Charlotte to ask what was wrong when her best friend opened the door. She hugged Charlotte tightly, shaking her head as she started to bawl. She knew this wasn't exactly helpful, and that she was only causing Charlotte to be more concerned. Pulling herself away from her best friend, she moved out of the way so that Charlotte could close the door as she tried to gain her composure.

"I'm pregnant," she finally managed to hiccup out, before the tears started to fall again. This was ridiculous, and she knew it. There was no reason for her to be this upset about the fact she was going to have a child, something she had always wanted. But she simply wasn't ready. Peter wasn't ready. The world wasn't safe enough to bring a child into it.

[Charlotte Fudge]

Although they'd been living on their own for what felt like an eternity, the Lupins would still only score, at most, a summative "proficient" rating at skills in the kitchen.

There was always just so much more to do than spend time learning how to cook a "proper meal."

Thankfully, neither was the complaining sort, Charlotte didn't mind the simplicity of their meals, and she knew her husband didn't either. And with his work, having something simple was usually best - missions kept his schedule irregular, so keeping pasta or soup warm until he got home was all that she needed to do. She hung up her scarf and jacket as she returned from Diagon Alley after a day at Obscurus Books and headed to the pantry to see what they had lying around. As she rifled through the boxes of uncooked noodles and bags of rice, Char's mind was half on the task at hand and half in her work bag - more accurately, within a manuscript within her work bag. With Remus gone so often she usually brought work home to edit (since she was still fairly new to the publisher, having the extra time wasn't bad at all in terms of staying ahead of deadlines).

But as she settled on pasta - We have some sauce, don't we? - there was a knock at the door. Her brows rose and she took up her wand before looking through the peephole. To see Daisy. Crying.

She immediately undid the locks, pushing down her threatening panic (panic hadn't ever helped during this war, but she couldn't help but feel it - her best friend crying, there were countless possibilities of why), and as soon as the door was open the smaller woman buried herself into her, thin arms latching around her tightly as she wept. Char wrapped her arms around the slight redhead, peering around her to see that yes, Daisy had arrived alone...

Daisy let go of her, and after giving her a squeeze Char stepped back to close them inside, looking to her friend inquisitively. Knowing Daisy, she wouldn't have to pry - the other had come to her for something - and surely, soon enough, she spoke.

Charlotte looked away, stunned into continuing her silence. News of a pregnancy from Daisy and Peter was something she had been looking forward to - and thought she'd continue to look forward to for years. Daisy had always wanted children, and children with Peter, so to come to her in such a state...Char swallowed, hitching her sleeve over a thumb to gently wipe away Daisy's tears, her other hand finding Daisy's and holding it securely. She was reminded of a tearful time years ago in the Gryffindor dormitory, promising her best friend that she'd be there to help should ever this situation arise.

She hardly felt more qualified to offer help now than when she'd been a girl, but here they were, and it was a promise she was going to stand by.

Daisy's tears wiped, Charlotte gave her a firm nod, a small smile, as she squeezed her hand.

"You're pregnant." As she spoke, she tried to make this sound like a positive thing - because really, it could be. Yes, the timing was far from perfect, but Char couldn't imagine her friends giving up the baby. They were going to see this through, and it could help them both see their future away from the fight. Wanting to ease Daisy's panic, her no-this-isn't-a-catastrophic-thing tone continued in her next. "Do you want to stay for dinner and talk? So far I'm thinking pasta of some sort, but I'd be willing to take any input you've got."

[Daisy Hookum]

Daisy knew that showing up on the Lupin's doorstep, in tears and alone was going to have whoever was home worried. With the war only getting worse, finding a friend in tears was never a good thing. She knew she shouldn't be this upset, it was irrational. She had always wanted to have kids with Peter, to be a mother. But it just didn't feel right. Finding out without him, not knowing if he would happy with the news. There was too much going on for this to even be close to a good thing.

And Charlotte, sweet Charlotte, was still the perfect best friend for Daisy. There was no questions being thrust at her, just a patient woman giving her best friend a squeeze and waiting for Daisy to be able to talk. After Charlotte had processed the news, and wiped away at Daisy's face, all Daisy could do was nod in response. Yes, she was pregnant. And while Charlotte was staying upbeat and making it sound like a positive thing, it wasn't. Not now.

"Pasta sounds good. I can eat that and keep it down, usually," Daisy replied, trying to mimic the unworried tone that Charlotte was displaying. Following her friend further into the house, she took a few deep breaths. The Lupin's house was always cozy, always inviting. And it was certainly helping calm her down. "Is Remus here? I don't know if I want him to know just yet. I haven't even told Peter...."

[Charlotte Fudge]

Oh but it was difficult to look unfazed by this, especially as Daisy seemed unconvinced! As she was still trying to convince herself this was a good thing - had only been working on that for about a minute, but given some time Charlotte was sure she'd come up with some positives here - she couldn't blame her friend. Her heart went out to the other as Daisy spoke, trying to adopt her tone as she calmed down a touch. Hopefully she could help keep her calm, help her think through the torment she was obviously in. For while Char knew, intellectually, that allowing oneself to feel so much, as Daisy was, could be a healthy thing...it didn't really lead to the greatest decision-making, did it? This was a tender, difficult, personal, thing that Daisy had come to her with. As her friend, she would help how she knew how - trying to stay rational and even, and get her home in a better state than how she'd arrived.

The pair went further into the house, and Char grabbed a box of pasta on the way to the kitchen, giving herself leave to look concerned at Daisy's words. So she had been experiencing some symptoms of pregnancy - but, Merlin's sake, there were days that Charlotte was so anxious that the thought of food, or the smell of something particularly pungent, would turn her stomach as well. But she was curious as to how long Daisy had been pregnant - and how long she had known, seeing that Peter was unaware!

"Ah - no, no, Remus is at work yet," Char stammered as they entered the kitchen, cursing herself inside for not recovering quickly enough to sound normal. But Peter doesn't know? Of all the concerning things about this, her friend's husband being unaware was...high on the list. "I won't tell him on your behalf, don't worry," she reassured her, busying herself with setting the water to boil. "Feel free to take a seat, and do you want any tea? Starting to get chilly in the evenings, isn't it?" Char put the kettle on for the pair of them, readying mugs, as she collected her thoughts. She soon sat with her friend at the small kitchen table, reaching for her little hand, and met her eye with a small smile. "You know you don't need to tell me anything you don't want to, and you can be here as long as you like," she said, giving her hand a squeeze. "But is it all right if I ask when you found out?"

[Daisy Hookum]

She knew that coming to Charlotte - although the tears surely hadn't helped - was the best thing she could do in this situation. Her best friend had always been there for her. Charlotte was her calm when she was a storm, and right now she felt like a hurricane of emotions. She didn't know how to feel, not with the world waging a war the way it was. A sweet precious child didn't deserve the kind of life it would have with the way things were going. And her husband - her kind and gentle husband - how was he going to handle this? He already had so much on his plate, he didn't need another person to worry about.

Daisy didn't miss the tone in her friends voice when she replied about Remus still being a work, and she had to admit it made her worry. She hadn't even bothered to ask how things were between Charlotte and Remus. What if they were in a rough spot? She was being selfish, sitting here crying about a baby of all things. They should be celebrating this, like Daisy had always planned they would. Daisy gave a weak nod, taking a seat down at the table as Charlotte bustled about. "Tea would be lovely, thank you."

After a few minutes Charlotte was there with her, taking her hand gently. Daisy looked up, doing her best to wipe stray tears from her face. "Thank you Charlotte. I'm so sorry to just come to your place. I just found out today, before I came here. Made an appointment at Mungo's and all. I just didn't know where else to go." Sighing, she looked around the kitchen and forced a smile. "Everything is okay between you and Remus right? You sounded worried earlier when I asked about him."

Everything had to be okay, because nothing else seemed to be. Sirius and Remus had experienced a falling out, and Daisy had been there on the sidelines helpless to help. It was terrible, the two of them doubting each other the way they did. How could they believe that one of their own would spy for the other side?

[Charlotte Fudge]

Keeping an eye on the soon-to-be-boiling water, Charlotte smiled weakly as her friend spoke, giving the hand she held some pressure that would hopefully be grounding. She kept her face mostly neutral as Daisy went on, although it was as much of a shock as an honor to hear that the other had just come from her appointment! While things had, of course, shifted between them after graduation - relationships with their significant others had progressed, and there were only so many hours in a day to devote to others - she was heartened to see that she was still just as important to her friend as they had been at school. They had always been the first to know anything that had happened to the other, after all - and while Peter needed to know this news, if Char could get Daisy in a better state to handle delivering the news, that would be ideal for all involved.

"You're always welcome, no matter what," she gently assured the petite mother-to-be. What an odd thing to think! Char knew she didn't have to tell her friend that, before long, she would need to go home, so instead followed along with the other's change of conversation. They'd come back to the baby. "Everything's fine with us," Char promised, although they had had some arguments lately, so she had to meet Daisy's eye with a sad smile. "But I can't stop worrying. Dumbledore has been asking so much of him, and then the debacle between him and Sirius..." She let out a rough sigh, getting to her feet and releasing Daisy's hand as she put the pasta in to the pot, poured water for their tea from the kettle, speaking her thoughts as she did. "It's just maddening, all of it. There has to be a mole, but I can't see how it could be Sirius. I hate to see them like this, they've gotten to the point of being just - just unwilling to see anything else." She'd argued the point with her husband until they'd reached an impasse, and with her not being in the Order, investigating her suspicions was rather difficult. She really only caught things second hand from Remus and their friends, and from everything that had been said, she agreed that there had to be someone spilling secrets...but she'd known Sirius for years, he'd known Remus and the others for nearly his whole life. She'd heard his story in bits and pieces, and felt that she knew enough of it to believe in him. Because how could someone who left his family as a teenager have had this sort of long-term plot? It just didn't add up...

Returning with their steaming mugs of tea, Charlotte sank back into her chair, looking curiously at her friend for her opinion. While this was far from the news that had brought Daisy to her door, it was still something near to their hearts, Daisy near a sister to Sirius and Remus. "What do you think?"

[Daisy Hookum]

How long ago had Daisy planned to have kids? It had always been in her mind, especially after her and Peter had gotten married. She had wanted to be a house wife. She kept their place clean - bills were little seeing as she had inherited her mother's place. This had been her plan, to be the mom at home with the kids. But this war was getting worse and it simply wasn't the time. Even with that, she knew she couldn't do anything right now. Not when there was a child involved. She would have to tell Peter, and maybe they would have to leave the country. There were other magic schools in the world, schools in countries that were currently safer from the full wrath of the Dark Lord.

Daisy smiled at Charlotte, glad for the reassurance that she could always stop by. She hadn't known how hectic their world would get after graduation, and it was strange not seeing Charlotte as often as she had growing up. She was thankful for the change in conversation, as thinking too much about the child growing inside of her made it difficult for her to breath. She nodded as Charlotte got up, listening to what she had to say. She had to agree, the fighting had gotten ridiculous at this point. Daisy did her best to remain neutral, although if often seemed as if Peter believed that Remus was a spy. But there was no way he could be, Charlotte would know if Remus was doing that. And Remus was so sweet, he couldn't betray his friends.

But maybe Peter could.
    No, he would never. They are his brothers.

She brushed the thoughts from her mind, taking the tea cup that Charlotte offered to her. "I don't think either one of them is capable of that. Sirius hates that world he left behind, and we both know it destroy's Remus to go out with that mad man every month..." She took a sip of the tea, letting the warmth calm her nerves. "It's clear someone has spilled some secrets, but I just don't think it's them. I wish they would listen to reason instead of be at each other's throats like this. Especially with James and Lily in such danger..."

Setting the tea cup down, she stared into for a few moments letting a silence fall between them. "Sometimes I think..." She shook her head - there was no point in adding doubts about her husband into her best friend's mind. "I'm more worried about Peter in all of this, watching them break apart. His parents are miserable and he's always looked up to them. I don't know what to do."

[Charlotte Fudge]

Charlotte listened to her friend's ideas with her hands around her mug, relieved to find that the pair of them, at least, seemed to be on the same page. She would, naturally, defend her husband - and Willa would, just as naturally, defend Sirius. Thus, they hadn't all seen each other in quite some time. Thankfully Peter and Daisy hadn't been decisive - at least, no openly so - about the traitor, so she could speak freely.

"We've been in this for years, but things have never felt so...volatile," Charlotte settled on the word after a few moments' thought. Something was brewing - it was palpable in the air, even to those who didn't know the war was going on, or so she thought. There was an ominous feeling to the world, an unnerving sense of wrongness. The danger that the Potters were in was eating their dearest friends apart, that much she knew - but even that wasn't an excuse for the tension, to put it lightly, among the "marauders." There was even talk about James, Lily, and Harry going deep into hiding - He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had been after them since their wedding day, seeming to target them with more focus than most of the victims (Not that "victims" is what they will become.). They'd always kept working, even with the moving around they'd had to do to remain safe...

"Does Peter have any insights? It has to be someone else within the Order. The sooner the mole is found out, the sooner they can all get back to normal. I'd encourage him to try and figure it out...Remus is beyond that, no matter what I say," she said with a frustrated breath, taking a sip of the piping hot tea. Her husband was dead set on Sirius being the informant, unwilling to see anything else. But perhaps Peter was more open-minded yet - with two of his best friends going head-to-head, he'd have to take a side (and Char honestly couldn't predict who he would choose to follow) or find another answer. For all of their sakes, she hoped he was on the latter path.

[Daisy Hookum]

In all of the turmoil going on, Daisy and Peter had done their best to remain neutral. She didn't want to take a side, because she couldn't see either one of them doing what they had been accused of. Peter...he was close to them both, but in different ways. Peter had been the best man in Remus' wedding, but him and Sirius had lived together for a while after school. And while they weren't taking sides, Peter had confessed to her that he thought it was Remus. It had crushed her, and it had been a sore spot. And ever since then she'd grown suspicious. Longer nights at work, just his general change of attitude. Something simply wasn't right.

But Charlotte was right, there had never been a time as dim as this. There was something in the air that wasn't right, and even Muggles were picking up on it. She'd overheard the conversations from them, with them trying to figure out why something just felt off. And the muggle newspapers tried to cover the incidents, making up stories as to how people disappeared or places were destroyed. Even someone like her, someone who had a muggle parent, was at risk these days if they weren't careful. She gripped her cup tighter, trying not to let it overwhelm her.

"I don't know. Peter's been..." Daisy trailed off, looking up from her tea to meet Charlotte's eyes. "He's been acting strange. Working late, just not himself. I worry about how all of this is effecting him. If the guys would only try and work on it together instead of pointing fingers, maybe something could be done." But until then, there was no way to really know. "Char I don't...what if it's Peter?"

[Charlotte Fudge]

Instead of having a calming effect, it appeared Charlotte's question was only adding anxiety back to her friend. She watched carefully as Daisy struggled for words, honest worries pouring out of her before long. As she had when the pregnancy was announced, Char tried to keep her face blank as her mind raced. Willa was defending Sirius, and Char could back up those claims. She was defending Remus, having first-hand accounts to decry any "evidence" of "traitorous" behavior. It was Dumbledore forcing him into the werewolf den, not his choice, after all. But...could Daisy not defend Peter?

"What exactly do you mean, that he's been acting strange?" Char asked carefully, hoping her tone didn't betray the sudden increase of her heart, wanting more information from the one closest to him before coming near any sort of opinion. But would Peter Pettigrew have it in him to betray the Order? His friends? His family? The double-agent was working for both Dumbledore and You-Know-Who - was Peter capable of that? Of keeping such secrets? Of getting in with the Death Eaters in the first place? Charlotte couldn't see how he would have gotten himself into that sort of situation. It's impossible to imagine for any of them, she reminded herself fairly. Loyalty ran deep throughout the organization, not just to its leaders but peer-to-peer. The cycle of saving each other's lives was never-ending, how could any of them push that sort of gratitude aside?

While Daisy gathered her thoughts, Char went to check on their dinner, giving the noodles a few stirs as she tried to make sense of this herself. She'd known Peter for years now, since they were so young and Daisy had gotten involved with him. She'd watched him grow up, had been in his wedding. Just as it was impossible to see Sirius as the informant, with the years of evidence she had of his loyalty, how could she put Peter in that position?...

[Daisy Hookum]

She'd been fighting these thoughts in her head for such a long time, speaking them out loud was overwhelming. Relief washed over her for a split second, as it was quickly replaced by guilt. How could she say these things about her husband? She'd been there for all the bickering, putting herself in between Sirius and Remus when she had to. Trying to get them to just listen to James. She knew Peter was doubting Remus, but she couldn't. Charlotte would never lie to her about something of the sort, and Charlotte would defend Remus to the death. Just as Willa defended Sirius.

And she was in the middle, trying to keep her peace. She loved Willa, and Sirius was like her older brother. But Charlotte was her best friend, and Remus was a gentle soul who would die before betraying his friends to the wolves. So no one looked to her and Peter. Because why, why would it be Peter? Especially as she was a half-blood. And with no magical relative still living to prove it, there was always a fear in her heart about it. Peter would never work for someone who wanted her dead. He just wouldn't.

"He doesn't always to seem to all there in his head, like he's always got something else on the back of his mind," Daisy answered, looking up from the table towards Charlotte. "But we all do, don't we? I'm probably just reading into things. Pregnancy hormones have got me all sorts of paranoid." That had to be the answer. They needed to all trust each other, now more than ever. Putting senseless concerns into Charlotte's head wasn't going to help things. "Merlin knows he's probably been a bit off because I've been acting strange, you know he worries."

[Charlotte Fudge]

While she was by no means an alarmist prone to jumping to conclusions, Charlotte couldn't help but get more worried as her friend replied. Preoccupation wasn't unusual with anyone at this point in the war, but if Daisy had seen a noticeable shift in her husband's actions, Char wasn't about to dismiss it as invalid simply because of the pregnancy. She worried the inside of her cheek as she stirred the noodles, trying to think of a phrasing that wouldn't incite more anxiety...

Not your fault that the situation is full of that to begin with. To even consider that it could be Peter...

But just as the advice she was going to give, Charlotte wasn't going to belittle her own intuition. She trusted Daisy and her observations, perhaps more than the redhead did herself.

"Yes, he worries," Charlotte began gingerly after a thoughtful pause, leaning back against the counter but avoiding her friend's eye, "but I wouldn't sell your intuition short, Daisy. You live with him, you would be the one to see these changes compound bit-by-bit. It very well could be as you said, that he's just reacting to shifts in your own behavior."  Or, it went without saying, it could be because of the stresses of maintaining a deadly double life. "Maybe once he knows why you've been a little off, you'll see him shifting back towards normal," she said hopefully, truly wishing that the problem was as simply fixed as that. Not that Daisy telling him of the pregnancy was simple, nor that its implications were, but - once Peter got over the shock of it, perhaps his wife would start seeing more positive shifts, with everything out in the open...

[Daisy Hookum]

She hated this, the idea that any one of their family could be a spy. She hated thinking it might be Peter, but she had refused to believe it was Remus. It couldn’t be Remus, and she hated that it seemed both her husband and Sirius had agreed that their brother was going to betray them. After everything all of them had been through, to get this far in their lives and in the war, it was insane to think one of them could be working for the very evil they’d decided to fight upon leaving school. They needed each other now more than ever, with the threat seemingly outside of all of their front doors. But if she admitted the truth to Charlotte, she’d have to admit the truth to herself.

And the truth was the person that came home to her was different. Distant. At first he had just seemed on edge, but she’d dismissed it because his job wasn’t exactly the safest and it made sense. But it seemed like he was gone more often, missions lasting longer than they did. But this is war, it doesn’t mean he’s given up hope. Hope was all they had anymore, the death toll on their side rising. They’d lost so many people in such a short time, the world around them felt so shattered. This wasn’t the life anyone had dreamed of.

Charlotte was offering up hard advice, but something she needed to hear. Still, it warmed her heart that her best friend wasn’t accusing Peter of anything.”I don’t know what to think,” she admitted quietly, ”I guess deep down I knew this day would come. But I really don’t know. It’s not like I can ask him, I doubt he would tell me the truth if he was. And if he isn’t then I’m the worst wife in the world for even thinking that kind of thing.”

[Charlotte Fudge]

Charlotte didn't hide her discomfort at her best friend's words, a frown darkening her features as with her wand she sent the noodles to drain themselves over the sink. She came to her friend's chair and knelt beside her, looking Daisy firmly in the eye as she spoke. "You are not the worst wife in the world. That title has never been and will never be yours. Just because there's a need for confrontation does not mean you've done anything wrong." 

She rose and pulled over a chair, dropping into it and folding her hands with renewed composure as she weighed the options. "I can come with you as a back-up, a second eye - " A witness. " - if you would like. There are also...ways we can ensure he's telling the truth. I know it would be an awful thing to consider, but...you would know." Procuring a tricky little potion to do so was possible, and unless Peter had been conditioning himself against Veritaserum, he wouldn't be capable of answering his wife's questions with any falsehoods. It was not ideal, or ethical, but...How is what they've been asking of Remus ideal or ethical? How do his sacrifices outweigh the intelligence gathered? If they went for that, they could come out conclusively on the other end. Either Peter was the spy, or he wasn't, and they would have nigh indisputable evidence. Evidence that could be used to assist the Order in putting the matter to rest...With a sad smile, Char left Daisy to think as she took care of the remainder of dinner preparations. A jar of sauce opened and heated itself in a pan on the stove, the noodles served themselves onto plates, as she hoped she hadn't stepped too far over the line.

[Daisy Hookum]

Daisy nodded at Charlotte’s reassuring words, blinking back tears as her friend pulled up a chair. But what Charlotte was suggesting, how could Daisy ask that of her husband? She may not be the worst wife in the world, but what kind of wife didn’t trust her husband to tell her the truth? It was a lot to think about, almost too much. She was pregnant, and she’d have to break that news to Peter sooner rather than later. But she knew already that she wouldn’t be able to break the news in any way she had wanted. Hope long had she wanted to marry Peter, how many years had she dreamt of having children? Those were things she had always wanted. But she was twenty, much younger than she’d ever wanted to have children. And there was the war happening on their doorsteps, something that had never been a part of her plan for her life. But nothing had ever gone according to the plan she’d laid out when she was fifteen years old.

Charlotte was back at the table with dinner, and Daisy forced a smile to her friend, hating herself for the question she had. “Would you ask Remus to take a potion to ensure he’s telling the truth?” she asked, hurriedly continuing, “Not that I don’t believe Remus, you know I do. This whole mess with him and Sirius it tearing the entire group apart and I can’t stand it.” Sirius was a brother to her, just as much as Remus and James were. They were all supposed to be family, not at each other’s throats over he said - he said nonsense. “I can’t ask that of Peter, not when things are so messed up. I trust him with my life, I have to. I will confront him about this, but…” she trailed off, fork twirling pasta absentmindedly, “I think I need to do it alone.”