no escape from reality - order hq - doc

[Hestia Jones]

10 July 1981

"At least it's Friday, I suppose." Hestia said as she dropped the folder down on her desk, looking over to Sturgis Podmore. She had just recently been paired up the him, the teams switching around for the new year as some Agents took different positions. It was hard for her to believe that she had been promoted a year ago, and proud that Doc had moved up to be an Agent this year. She had been so angry, so afraid in the beginning, so unsure if this was the right thing for her to be doing. But as they fought every day, and watched her friends old and new fight, cry, and break. She knew she was in the right place, and doing the right thing. Her world needed her, and more people like her. 

But, that didn't mean she still couldn't look forward to the weekend. Her and Doc - which even after a couple of years was still a strange concept - had made plans. A nice summer weekend, popping back on up to Wales to stay with her Mum and Dad. Parents who had been so deleted to finally meet the handsome Doc Dearborn their daughter talked so much about. It was going to be great weather and fun times with her quirky parents, and perhaps even a little extra fun if they could sneak some time away. 

She looked up to see Doc at his desk, giving him a grin as she caught his eye. But in a brief moment, a glimpse of light brought her attention as a patronus entered the room. Dumbledore's patronus. She stood straight, eyes wide as she heard the message. Everyone in the office was silent, a tension hanging in the air that hadn't existed before. And then people were moving, orders were being tossed and she found herself frozen in place, gasping for air as the reality hit her. Because the Bones family, their friends, were dead. 

[Doc Dearborn]

Doc rose and stretched, his long arms high above his head with hands clasped, joints popping as he and his team finished their debrief for next week's mission. He and Hestia had finally (it was like Dumbledore was trying to keep them apart) gotten the same pair of days off, and were going to spend the weekend up in Wales with her family. So while he'd been focused during the meeting, now he was at leave to think of happier things. And a weekend away was much needed. Life in the Order hadn't come naturally to the graduated Hufflepuff, and the stress of it, the disillusionment that came along with it, was intimately draining. They could do with some time away to rejuvenate.

He caught her eye as she looked over, sending her a wink before turning to Dung, who'd just started a joke quite inappropriate for HQ, but one that he, of course, had to hear. But before his comrade could get to the punch line, a patronus swept into the room.

Or, rather - the phoenix flew in, replacing soothing song with news that should have been impossible.

The flurry of activity that hit the office was muted to his ears as Doc looked to Hestia. She was struggling with this, realizing the effect of the news faster than he was, and after a moment's hesitation - they'd been warned against familiarity while at work - he went to her, sending Frank a give-us-a-minute look. He bent to her eye-level, voice low as he tried to hold back his emotions. Just - help her. "Look at me, Hes." He exaggerated his breaths, keeping eye contact with her as he silently encouraged her to slow her breathing, to breathe with him. They couldn't afford to panic, and he hadn't made it to being an Agent by showing what he felt. His own freak-out would come once they were home.

Because, years back, when he'd heard some of the story of Edgar and his family, he'd admired the bloke and his rather blatant f*ck you attitude towards You-Know-Who. The leader of the dark forces didn't want witches and wizards marrying muggles? He could almost see Edgar's smirk, almost hear his taunting reply of, "I'll one-up you there, mate - married a muggle and plan on having a full house of kids with her. What d'you think about that?" He and Phoebe had tried to live as if the war wasn't a factor, or so it seemed, not letting the world get the better of their hopes and dreams. It had been ambitious, but Ed was a phenomenal wizard. As things had seemed to quiet from their opponents lately, maybe he'd been lulled into a false sense of security? No...he must've had every defense in the book over their house - how could this have happened?

In his beginning times in the Order, he'd been too talkative (one of the things that had lost him the first round of promotions). He'd wanted to reason with the other side. But perhaps this was the nail in the coffin for that idea. Because how could you reason with people who murdered children?

The kids...

He and Hes had babysat for the Bones kids a handful of times, Doc-The-Sapper having been under the same Commanding Officer as the Agent. It was always a lark, he and his girl not so well equipped to handle the care of three very different kids, and had allowed them time to bond with the family in a real way.

Was the lull exactly why this had happened, though? Doc hated to think it, but it had been a while since the Death Eaters had made a statement as large as this.

Look what we can do to your strongest.
Aren't you curious to see who's up next?

They were master manipulators of fear and the spread of mistrust among citizens, seizing opportunities in a manner most calculated. This couldn't have been random. Nothing had been, so far. They were fear-mongering, wanting a panic from both muggle and wizarding communities, wanting to gain back the slight hold it felt the Order and Aurors had claimed in this brief time of quiet.

This wasn't something the Order could put a positive spin on. The newspapers would have a heyday, the communities would shrink back in fear. How were they supposed to mobilize a fighting effort when the world had a fresh example of what happened to people who went against You-Know-Who?...

[Hestia Jones]

This was not helping. Frozen in one place as people were gathering themselves to leave, different teams getting tossed different assignments. Some of them were going to the house, that she was sure of. She couldn't be one of them. She couldn't go to that house and see what was inside, see the family she had grown to love dearly. Just processing the news that they were dead was bad enough. She couldn't see it.

Her team had to be going somewhere else, right? Surely the more advanced agents would be better on site. She couldn't pull any distinct orders from the sound around her, the air thick and numb. This is your job, you have to move. You can't do this. But her body wasn't listening to her thoughts.

Look at me, Hes.

No, that wasn't a voice in her head. She snapped back to reality, eyes focusing in on Doc. He was there, pulling her back to earth. She didn't deserve him, and she had no idea how to thank him in this moment. She swallowed the lump in her throat, giving a nod to let him know that she was back. She could do this, she could focus.

"What are the orders? Where are we going?" she asked, hoping she hadn't completely missed her orders. Please let us go together. I can't be alone. She knew it wasn't the case, but she couldn't be alone. Not with this news. Almost all the Bones family was gone.

[Doc Dearborn]

As Hestia jerked to attention, her eyes jumping up to meet his, she gave a silent nod of understanding - and Doc wanted to take her in his arms and Apparate away. They could go home to Wales, they could stay with his family and not talk about the war, his parents didn't really understand it anyway, and they could sneak into the hidden tunnels underground the city and university with Rhiannon, she only had one year left at school and she'd never properly snuck out of Hogwarts, she needed the practice and they could help. They could help. That's why they were here in this room, that's why they'd agreed to join, that's why they'd put whatever was normal in their lives on pause - so they could help. That's all Edgar had wanted to do too, to help make the world safe for his wife and his children and everyone else he met and those he'd never come upon either - he'd wanted to help. That was all.

And now the Dark Mark hung over the Bones house, the birthday party had turned into a massacre, and they would never again exchange jokes or hugs or advice, and the lives they'd lived with brazen love were cut short and turned to stories ahead of their times. I gave him such sh*te about not inviting us today. He was going to bring us leftover cake. Or a new cake, if they finished the whole thing. The room swirled with activity and orders and stunned silence, and Doc took a moment to take strength from his partner too - they weren't going to run, they weren't going to lay down, they were going to keep helping, and they would keep getting through this together one day at a time. He tried to put order to his thoughts, dismiss the myriad of unhelpful ones until a later time, and there was too much to do. Teams were going to the Bones house but not to their parents' house, to locate Amelia, to secure the Thatcher flat and the Adkins house. To the field, to find those responsible or those who could give information. And staying here, holding down headquarters for operatives already on missions and those who would return with information, and more, so much more...

"I'm sorry baban, I didn't catch..." His gentle-hearted lass, she looked so close to breaking, and he wanted to too. Something in him did crack at seeing her like this, and rage released from the breach as quick as a lightning strike and just as burning. And he wanted to be one of the ones to go - to hunt down those who killed children and good people, and bring them to justice. Unbidden, Olwyn's voice came to his mind, coarse and pithy in memory.

"Repay evil with good, and hell will not claim you."

    What should we care of hell, when its demons are already here?

But, slightly mollified as always at the mild chiding of the woman charged with raising him, Doc took Hestia's hands as gently as he could, bending his head and bringing them to his lips. They didn't need a lecture on proper decorum, but Doc doubted anyone was paying them any mind, and this truly was as chaste as they could be. He took a breath and looked about, trying to find sense in the clamor. The trail of Order members leaving the office space for the adjoining larger room all seemed to be under their Commanding Officer... "Looks like McGonagall's gathering us. We'll get our assignments and meet at home again tonight. We don't need to think further than that." Quieting, he swallowed and continued, voice thick, "We can help them. One more time. Are you ready?"

[Hestia Jones]

Hadn’t it only been two days since they had seen Edgar, and spoke to him about the festivities planned for the birthday party. There had been talk of fireworks for the kids, and hiding the magic from the muggle family members who were attending. Grey’s accidental magic was getting more common, but Phoebe had quickly learned how to redirect it to something more productive than setting the curtains on fire. Who all had been there when this had happened? The patronus had said the Bones family, but who did that include? She didn’t want to think about her friends being dead, about their children being dead. But how could she not think about it, when they’d all just received the news? And hadn’t Fabian and Gideon just taken off to attend to the party - and that thought made her stomach lurch. The Prewetts and Bones were a big family, and she could only imagine now that it was Fabian and Gideon who had made the discovery. Her mind was reeling with so many thoughts, she didn’t know how she was going to calm down.

There was commotion all around them. People in states of shock, people in tears, people who were angry. Everyone was moving, and it was all too much. She could tell looking at Doc, that his mind was going as fast as hers was. They had all known going into this job that death was a very real outcome, there was no denying that. They’d already been affected by this war in many ways, from the attack on Hogsmeade their last year at Hogwarts to hearing of missing muggles and Ministry workers. Even then, they weren’t in the field yet, and the only other time it had seemed this close was when they’d been in school, running from the village in fear at the chaos happening. For the first time since putting her dreams on pause to participate in the war, Hestia was wondering if she made the wrong choice. But if the Bones family wasn’t safe - was anyone really safe? How had Death Eaters gotten through the layers of protection surrounding the Bones house?

Doc brought her hands to his lips, and she blinked back the tears threatening to spill. They had each other, and that meant something in all of this. She joined him in looking around, feeling the emotions of everyone leaving the room to get their orders. Everyone was angry, hurt, and sad. The Bones family had truly been one of the sweetest families they had all gotten to know. She turned her gaze back towards Doc, nodding at his words. “We can help them one more time,” she echoed quietly, taking a few deep breaths. They could do this. Even if they were on separate assignments, they would manage. And they’d take the time tonight to cry, and feel everything they were feeling right now. Taking his hand, she interlocked their fingers - decorum be damned, and headed towards the larger room.

[Doc Dearborn]

Joints stiff, back aching, fingers and nose chilled to the touch, Doc trudged the last steps to their flat with Benji beside him, just as he had been through their team’s endless hours lying in wait on the periphery of the Lestrange estate, their prime suspects for the tragedy. While they were there, each second passing announced by a tick from their captain’s watch, he was as he’d needed to be. Tensed, ready to spring into action. Alert, for any change. And as day turned to night, eyes played tricks and his mind did too, and the why of their presence became harder and harder to push from his mind - which he had to do, to remain focused. If he allowed his mind to wander to Edgar and Phoebe’s home, to where Hestia and her team were stationed and what they faced, to the congratulations the ones responsible for the terror of this day were surely getting from their leader - he would let loose such a shout, such a wail, that their cover would be blown, and even more of them would be gone.

When his sister had been lost to him for mere moments, he’d up and lost his mind enough to demand a seat in the Order. Amelia and Roderick, what were they going to do now? As an auror, Amelia had to know, she had to - and there was no way that she was waiting for others to bring about justice. And Roderick, his daughter was just shy of a year, wasn’t she? She’d have no - she’d have no memories of his brother, his sister-in-law, her cousins. Only stories that led, inevitably, to this day.

The moon was high when the relief team came, and it was good they did. Doc couldn’t be the only one tempted to take his chances, and do what damage to the manor that he could while it was abandoned. To leave not that slithering Mark in the sky but a ruin nonetheless for them to return to. They were all simmering, bubbling, as they waited. Without news, without anything stopping their minds from running ‘round with the worst outcomes possible, he’d soon be dancing on the edge of a cliff.

He’d never been good at taking orders. Hell, he and Hes had flaunted their disregard for the silly ones damn near every day at school. Staging pajama-based protests with a wink and a smile, and deadly serious in their endeavors, in their discussions with Sprout and the headmaster on lofty ideals that had mattered so much…

It was good the relief team came when they did. Even though the last thing he wanted was to go home, to eat, to sleep, as their captain demanded they do.

"They’re going to walk," he said, abruptly breaking their silence as he fished out his keys. Clearing his throat, Doc reiterated, walking inside their cheerful, lovely, loving home after getting the door with some difficulty. "They’re going to walk, like they always do. We should find Amelia, she - she’s out there, she’s got to be out there, and she shouldn’t be alone. Hestia? Hestia, baban, are you home?"