Nov '81: Two's Company, but Three is a Crowd: Jamie

[Remus Lupin]

11 Nov 1981

She wasn’t sure how far she had run, the full moon shining in the sky lighting her path. She’d been on plenty of runs during full moons in her life, but never on two legs. But as she slowed down, lungs burning because of the cold air, Remi looked up at the moon in the sky. She hated nights like these, the pain that came with them - and that followed as her body tried to heal from the injuries she gave herself. Who could have imagined a night would come when she wished she was the wolf, running through a forest.

Remi, Remi, don’t go like this!

Her husband’s last words were so clear in her mind, her heart aching as she ran a hand through her hair. Charles was hurt, and he had to be angry with her now. But he wasn’t following her, was he? The street around her was silent, and she was an idiot because she was standing there with her wand like she didn’t live near muggles. She hadn’t thought this through, not really. Leaving the house had been as far as her mind had gotten, knowing she couldn’t stay when she was so full of nerves. Because it may be their baby, it was her responsibility. Her mother had been upset when she’d started dating, had urged her to be cautious when they’d gotten married. But Remi hadn’t listened, not well enough.

She needed to go somewhere, because staying in the street wasn’t an option. Her parents house was out of the question, her mother would drag her to a hospital without hesitation. And while that was the clear choice here, she wasn’t about to have her mother making that choice for her. It also wasn’t a choice she wanted to make on her own, and Remi sighed as she looked back down the street the way she had come from. If she went back down, could they talk this out? Would everything be fine if she went home? It certainly had a better chance of being fine now than being fine later. But Remi turned and kept walking, feet carrying her to a place she could safety apparate.

A short while later she was on Jamie’s doorstep, staring at the door as she thought. Jamie would understand the situation - in a way, at least. An unexpected pregnancy was something her best friend had dealt with personally, but there was so much more to this than just the fact it was happening. Determined, Remi knocked on the door, hoping that Jamie was up. “Doe, it’s me.”

[James Potter]

That’s right, Momma got you back to sleep. We’re gonna beat Daddy’s record one of these times, baby girl.

    Or you can feel better and get a full night’s sleep. That’s great too.

Jamie’s silent victory dance over their daughter's crib was perhaps a little overkill, but the young mother couldn’t care less. Harrie was down with the sniffles, bless her little red nose. This successful easing-back-to-sleep was one of many victories Jamie had had in the last few weeks, and while one of those victories was causing the fall of the dark forces with the help of Levi and the Order behind them, she still felt the importance of this one. She’d wanted to be a fighter and was good at it, had done more than her fair share to bring about this peace, but Jamie wanted to put that life behind her. This was the important one, although she knew that stories of nights like these wouldn’t make their way into The Prophet or the history books. Honestly, though, she wasn't upset about Harriet waking up in a fuss tonight; she'd been having trouble sleeping herself since they'd had to go into hiding months ago, and she knew Tom Riddle was dead, she'd seen his dead body in their home, she'd seen his most loyal carted away to Azkaban...is it really over?

She quietly let herself out of Harrie's room and padded downstairs, putting on a kettle as softly as she could. The night was long, and the moon was full, and she loved snuggling with her husband, but she wasn't tired. Not enough to sleep, anyway. Too much on Jamie Evans' mind? Who would've ever thought we'd see the day. Jamie pulled her thick hair back into a band as she waited for the silencio'd kettle to start letting out steam, mind on their daughter, on Remi, on the protections over their house, routines from the war still ingrained in their daily life...We'll get there. Relax. In time...

The knock on the front door startled her, even though only trusted friends and family could get close enough to their home to touch it. Jamie took her wand from the pocket of her robe, not trusting enough yet to have it out of her reach, and she crept to the door. The voice sounded like Remi, and through the peephole the visitor looked like Remi, but...isn't it a full moon? Now that the war was done, Jamie knew that she and the others should rejoin Remi on these nights in their animagus forms, helping again. But she'd always kept the moon's cycle in the back of her mind, had since second year...

What the hell's going on?

She opened the door just enough to get a better shot out of it, her wand raised defensively before her as she apologized. "Remi, I'm so sorry if it really is you, but I've gotta, you understand...Revelio." None of them had lived this long by taking things at face value. And Remi turning up on her doorstep as her human self under the light of what she could now more plainly see was a very full moon - that was just - that wasn't right. Jamie watched closely, looking for any change in the visitor's appearance, but nothing happened. The tension in her lessened, and she opened the door fully. "I'm sorry, it's just - er - I wasn't expecting you...tonight," she said pointedly, pocketing her wand. "I just put on a kettle, perfect timing."

[Remus Lupin]

Her best friends reaction was called for, given how much insanity the Evans had recently gone through. It hadn’t been that long ago that the war had ended in the Evans living room, Tom Riddle dead and gone because of a well placed trap. And now Remi was showing up on a full moon, to a friend’s house who knew the moon cycle just as well as she did. If Jamie had just let her in, Remi would have been concerned. And so when the door opened, and Jamie was pointing a wand in her face - that was normal. It was fine. She waited quietly, willing herself to hold it together as Jamie stared her down, looking for any signs that it wasn’t actually her. “It’s fine, really,” Remi said as Jamie opened the door fully, allowing her inside.

Because it was a full moon, no one was expecting her to be human. She stepped into the house, mind racing as she looked around. Last time she had been here, they’d be celebrating. The war was done, they were all free - everyone was safe. Everyone had lived. Everyone had been here, having a good time. Scorpia and Will, Petra and Dace, her and Charlie. The kids had been there, and she’d even done a decent job of holding Harrie, had been able to entertain George. Hell - that’s when they’d been able to actually celebrate with Petra and Dace, the two having only recently found out they’d be having a kid of their own. Life was just really beginning for all of them, a chance to live without the war looming over them. A fresh start.

“I’m just as surprised as you are,” she said suddenly, eyes focusing in on Jamie. This wasn’t exactly a covered subject in Care of Magical Creatures, not really. At least, Remi couldn’t remember a section on werewolves and pregnancy. “I’m sorry I just showed up it’s just...I mean,” she motioned to herself, laughing uncomfortably. “You know, this whole situation here. Full moon, and my furry little problem hasn’t made an appearance. I need...I need your help.”

[James Potter]

I’m sorry, Remi. Really, I am. With how the last few years had gone, Jamie knew there was no need for apologies amongst their group, but she still felt them necessary courtesies. Especially when she was holding someone who was likely her sister at the front door like a common stranger, or worse. Thankfully the spell’s effect was trustworthy and speedy, and Jamie was shortly moving aside to let Remi in. She secured the door behind them, nudging them to the kitchen and the waiting kettle. "It’s okay, was just surprised…" But as her friend went on, spelling out the situation a little more to confirm Jamie’s perception - Yep, it’s the moon. No Moony in sight. - she began to put some pieces together herself. Because Remi wanted her help...with...

She took the silently whistling kettle off of the stove, getting her wand to do the rest of the work for her in preparing their tea the way Remi liked it. It gave her a needed moment to think and put together a few words for what she was realizing could be an extremely tender subject. Because while her own child had come as a surprise, and while being pregnant while in the Order had more than its fair share of challenges and concerns, she'd never hesitated. From the moment she knew, Jamie knew that that child was hers and Levi's, and that nothing would keep them from being the family they deserved. But the dear friend in her kitchen hadn't ever considered the possibility of children in her own life as a possibility, not when no one had ever heard of a werewolf having children. There were the cubs in the Forest, of course, but their story was vastly different than the one Remi might be here to tell her. And as frustrating as that was for Jamie to wrap her mind around - how cute would Harrie be, mentoring a little Lupin-Fudge at Hogwarts? and how dare the choice be taken from Remi and Charles? - she knew that her gut couldn't hope to process what her friend had had to.

Delicate, Jamie... Tact had never been that natural of a concept for her to implement, but with any luck she wouldn't make the night worse than the one she felt her friend was already having. "Correct me if my memory's wrong," Jamie began hesitantly, eyes flicking towards the stairs - and Harrie's room - subconsciously before returning to Remi, "but I think I'm remembering a bit of a rant I had once. When your mum was finding ways to stop transformations, she found some folktales and the like. And I went off about how of course the solution was for her teenage daughter to get...pregnant. Is that right?" 

[Remus Lupin]

In her twenty odd years of existence, she’d gone over many old tales about werewolves. Books from every culture she could get her hands on, reading and researching. Trying to find any answer she could for a way to not be a monster every full moon, because it wasn’t a life she had wanted. Her mother had always been her source though, as Remi wasn’t the only one trying to solve the “problem” that existed in the Lupin household. Muggle and magical books alike about werewolves were in their home, theories being tossed around the dinner table whenever her mother had discovered something new. It was when they’d all been fifteen, when she’d gotten the talk about sex from her mother - that a very interesting and suddenly very relevant bit of information had been shared. It had been hard to determine what her mother had wanted back then, because while Remi had her doubts that her mother had wanted her to go out and get pregnant, it had been an odd bit of information to have. Information she’d shared with the girls during their fifth year, because of how absurd it had been. It hadn’t come up again until she’d told her mother about Charles, and in her seventh year it had been more of a warning than a solution.

You can’t seriously be dating Remi? What if you got pregnant? You’re a werewolf, for merlin’s sake!

Remi watched quietly, hands preoccupied with picking at her nails, as Jamie made them both a cup of tea. Tea would be good, tea would help calm her nerves. At least, that was what she had to hope. Jamie hadn’t asked why she was here, why she wasn’t a werewolf. And as her sister turned to her, Remi couldn’t stop the uncomfortable laugh that tumbled out of her. “Oh no, you’re remembering that correctly,” Remi said, nervous energy causing her to pace about the Evans’ kitchen. “I always thought it was just some weird folktale - but I mean, after I didn’t murder Charles as a wolf maybe I should have taken it more seriously, right? Because look at me! Full moon, and I’m a human. I stood in the forest for hours waiting to transform before it hit me.”

Remi stopped suddenly, tears burning her eyes as she shook her head, “And I just knew, but I went home anyway. Checked the calendar to see, and scared the hell out of Charles and then I left. I ran, because I don’t know what to do.” Giving a sigh, Remi sunk down into a nearby chair, “I know what I have to do, of course. That’s why I came here.”

[James Potter]

Thankfully her words didn't hang in the air long. Remi was laughing, the poor thing obviously overwhelmed as Jamie watched with concern. She tried to bring her features back to neutral as Remi spoke, but it had always been difficult to control her face, and now - middle of the night, werewolf friend not a werewolf, folktales possibly proven right yet again - she knew she wasn't having much success. Especially as her friend started tearing up, admitting she'd seen her husband… This is such sh*t, Rem. Remi and Charles would be such great parents, if they were given the chance. Well - given the chance to have a child without Remi's more unique monthly nussance. Remi collapsed in a chair, her final words heavy. Jamie took her time grabbing the mugs of steaming tea, not wanting to digest the sentiment. She sat beside her friend, mugs before them, and started - hopefully soothingly - tracing light circles on her back.

I can't turn Mum mode off, babe. How am I supposed to convince you that not hoping for the best, not seeing this through, is the right call.

"I'll support you, whatever you decide to do. I know you'd never want someone to hurt as you have, especially not a kid. And you don't have to take my advice, of course, but - what if we could somehow find out if she's gonna be a werewolf too? And act, or not, after that?" Her voice caught in her throat, and she tried to swallow back her emotions as she soldiered on. "We've gotten so far on hope, Remi. Hope and luck carried us. Even when we had the best plans, the best teams in the world, there were so many times…It could've been over for any of us, at any time. What says you won't be lucky once more?"

[Remus Lupin]

How mad was Charles going to be at her? Would he even think to check the Potter’s house? Remi didn’t know, but surely if the situated presented itself Jamie would have her back. She just needed time to sort through this on her own, away from her husband. You are awful. How could she want time away from the man who loved her to come to a decision about their baby? This should be a happy moment for them - surprising, yes - but happy. One that they would look back on in a few months and laugh about. When Harrie had been born, there had been a part of her that had been jealous, a part of her that wanted to be a mom that she hadn’t expected to find within herself. She’d never thought of having children of her own until she’d held a baby in her arms, and yet now that the opportunity was presenting itself, she was terrified.

She fiddled with the edges of the mug in front of her, doing anything but looking at her dear friend until Jamie spoke,. Was there even a way to find out that information? Remi didn’t feel comfortably walking into a hospital and announcing her monthly secret to the staff there in an attempt to gather information about the genetics behind her condition. What Jamie was saying was true - they had survived on so much hope and luck during this war. They’d all made it out alive, their other friends had made it out alive. They had won, their world was piecing itself back together bit by bit. Everything had been on track to being just fine until this night. “Jamie.” she said quietly, looking up from her mug, “You’ve seen me transform. You’ve seen the kind of pain I’ve enured, you’ve seen the scars. This life, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” Not even the enemies she’d made during the war, not even the werewolves she had run with.

“I was five years old the first time I had to experience it, and it was traumatic. Hell, I don’t even remember much of those first few moons,” she blinked back more tears, running a hand through her hair. “I can’t put a baby through that. How cruel would that be, to bring a child into a world of pain? I’m a monster- I know, I know you don’t think that. But society does, and that’s what society would think of her too.”

[James Potter]

The medical minds of their trusted group could find a way to determine whether Remi was carrying a lycanthrope, couldn't they? Marlowe, Davian, Ronda - they hadn't ever been faced with something they couldn't find a solution for, and they already knew of Remi's condition. But the three of them would need time to devise a plan, seeing as what they'd be asked to do was groundbreaking work. And that meant her friend would be carrying the baby longer, struggling with the uncertainty - to say the least. And say that they were able to do it, and it turned out the baby would inherit lycanthropy, and Remi had had more time to bond with it, but still didn't feel right about carrying it to term...

What would be best?

To know one way or the other now, in the early stages? Or to be kept waiting until its first full moon? Where Remi may not even trust herself to be with the baby, seeing as her own transformations would be back? We'd watch over the baby for you. We'd keep her safe, whichever way it went down, and report to you. While the thought of a deer, a dog, and a rat crowded into a nursery, hovering over a crib and watching for fur to sprout on a newborn - well, it was an undeniably entertaining idea, and one that Jamie knew the girls would be just as serious about as she was.

But her own inherent optimism, her rush towards solutions, it felt out of place. Yeah, they'd all made it this far, despite the odds stacked against them. But hope and luck weren't infallible, and were foolish to hold to at times. Was this moment one of them? She listened closely, still rubbing her friend's back, as Remi opened up. Steam from their untouched tea rose from the mugs as tears began falling from Remi's eyes, as Jamie swallowed back her own. 

"I know," she sighed, arm slipping around the other's shoulders, holding on tight; she leaned in, head to Remi's. "Whatever happens, it's not going to be simple, easy. But even if the baby is like you...she'll have you, and that will make all the difference in the world. It won't be a repeat of your childhood, Remi. You wouldn't do that to your own," she asserted gently. The pre-Hogwarts years spent in isolation, in fear of herself, judged and undermined and held captive by those who should have advocated for her. Remi and Charles would do better. So much better. I know it's scary. But if anyone can do this, it's you.