October: One Is The Loneliest Number (Boys Dorm)

[Arnie Peasegood]

Crazy Friday night ahead of you, Peasegood...don't get too wild, now, nobody around to help if things get out of control...

Arnie looked around him. The half-finished bag of Beans he was eating from was at his side, his model solar system rotating before him as it levitated over his bed. His Astronomy homework was spread about him - he'd picked the course up this year to give him something else to do, now that he couldn't see Dora. She'd enjoyed it so much, he figured it wouldn't hurt. And his roommates were...absent. Benji was probably out with some new girl, as apparently had become his M.O. this term. Would he branch out, take out a girl who wasn't in their House? Or would he stick to Ravenclaws only? Not that it quite mattered, or should matter, to Arnie - wasn't in the know of this, or anything going on in Benji's life, as Benji'd been avoiding him like the goddamn plague since term started...

He'd been doing a lot of internal self-fives to keep his spirits...well, not up, but to keep them from petering out. He'd had a good time at Hogsmeade with Alexandra, that fashion-obsessed Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake - if that didn't show how messed up this year was, he didn't know what would. Not that there was anything wrong with the girl, she'd been good company, but those trips had been his and Benji's (and later, Dora's) thing. Meant to be filled with Zonko's products, not a new haircut. But Benji had been on a date - and while that was amazing, Arnie hadn't been told by his supposed-best-friend, but by Skeeter. Who seemed awfully keen to alert him to the situation, as she thought he'd have more information. As he hadn't, since the other boy hadn't spoken to him about anything, the gossip queen had let him stew on the new information alone.

He'd been doing a  lot of that, lately.

Alone...ing.

Dora was in London, doing her Order work. Benji was his best friend at Hogwarts, and without him the other friends he'd made over the years had sort of...dissipated. They were friendly enough, yeah, but without his closest confidant there was just that...spark of friendship missing. So he'd been sticking to himself, mostly. And Arnie Peasegood was great company. But not when it was one's only company.

Obsessive. Neurotic. Bit depressive without a counterpart.

Line up, ladies and gents - opportunity of a lifetime, best friend position open... The bitter thought left him with a sigh, a quill in his hand, and an essay to write. Ink droplets began to splatter the parchment as he tapped the quill rhythmically in his fingers, trying to figure out a good start...

[Benji Fenwick]

Benji walked the halls of Hogwarts blindly, a dilemma weighing on his mind. The list of people he was currently avoiding was the longest it had ever been: Two. Two too many. Well he had been trying to avoid Carolyn, but for some reason he was having trouble staying away and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. They were the most important two people to him in this castle. Well only one of them knew it. If Arnie still believed it that was. Benji had been such a crap friend to him lately. Still no matter how cross Benji was with his best friend, he was still his best friend. The dilemma was: To talk to Arnie or to not talk to Arnie. Would he even want to talk to Benji?


The boy sighed, rubbing at his eyes. He wasn’t really mad at Arnie anymore, it had just become habit to not be in the same room with the other boy. And then Benji had started making new friends, and then there was Caro, and time just seemed to get away from him.Now it was inching close to Christmas and he simply had to do something before he lost his best mate. He felt absolutely horrid, almost every time he saw Arnie his friend was alone. Benji knew the feeling from last year when Arnie and Doe had gotten serious; it was not a good feeling. And inflicting it on your best friend was a jerk move.


He let out a frustrated scream and some smaller children jumped. He smiled bashfully at them before climbing the stairs to the Ravenclaw Tower. Maybe some rest would do him well. He scanned the common room when he entered but he didn’t see any of his good friends. He gave a half wave to Dirk before climbing the stairs to his dorm. He opened the door with a long suffering sigh, closing it behind him before noticing a certain dark haired boy sitting on the bed next to his.


Scratching his head nervously, Benji crossed the room and sat on his own bed, not sure of what to say. He looked to Arnie noting the materials spread around his bed. When had Arnie started taking Astronomy? Was he really so tuned out to the other boy? He must have been. A bad feeling settled in his gut, pushing forth words that had otherwise been kept under lock and key. “Dude I’m such an jerk, I know it, you know it. But you weren’t a very good friend either you know. I went through some sh*t, some really bad stuff and I don’t know, I needed you. God I sound like such a girl! But I did, and that is still no excuse for being a complete ass, total ass.” Benji scratched his head again, then held out his arms. “I’m sorry bro, I’m so sorry. I’m such a pansy.” He finished flopping back onto his bed.

[Arnie Peasegood]

...Deviating from the standard muggle acceptance of the universe at that time, wizarding astronomers -

The Ravenclaw's attention was drawn from his essay at the dorm's door opening and quietly shutting, and he looked up to see his best mate Benjamin Fenwick enter the room with a rather dramatic sigh. The boys awkwardly met eyes before both looked away, and Arnie heard the bed next to him creak as he sat down. He stubbornly kept his head down, munching his beans and grimacing as he got a tuna flavored one. Sure, he'd been waiting for a minute where it was just them so they could air things out, but he hadn't done anything wrong so why did he have to start the conversation? A nagging inner voice that sounded like his mother reminded him that a good friend wouldn't care who started the conversation as long as it brought them back together, but - dammit - if Benji wanted to be his friend then -

Arnie looked up in surprise as the other bloke suddenly began to speak to him, shaking his shaggy hair out of his eyes, and he recognized the rushed word-vomiting as so much of what had been unsaid between them poured out of Benji. His thick brows furrowed in confusion as he was accused of not being a good friend - okay, well, he hadn't been the best, but not the worst, not deserving of the cold shoulder for a month and a half, anyway - but he kept quiet, biting his cheek to do so. He listened, the model and essay forgotten, as he plainly heard his friend's pain, regret, before the other boy crashed back on his bed. After an apology.

"You're not a pansy," he said awkwardly, dropping his quill and leaning back against his headboard after a few tense, quiet moments. "Not too bright for not just telling me what was bothering you, though. Had me all...worried. Are you talking about her and him?" Arnie had long gotten into the habit of not using names to describe two recent Hogwarts graduates who had been responsible for breaking his friend's big heart. "I know I wasn't always around, but you've got to know that I fought him on anything he tried to put on you this summer - I always have your back with them, Benj." He let out a sigh, picking at the quilt, as he asked, "Or is this about the attack and your friend? That was f*cked, mate, but I thought you wanted to deal with that yourself, with your family, those who knew him - didn't think I'd be any help...I'm - I'm sorry too. I should've tried harder but, Christ, couldn't keep getting ignored, you know? Figured you were...done with me," he said, his thin shoulders shrugging slightly under the weight of that admission.

[Benji Fenwick]

His eyes snapped open and he smiled up at the canopy of his bed. It was just like Arnie to argue with him when he began degrading himself. The boy was far too optimistic for his own good. Benji had missed that. He had missed his friend. Arnie kept him from going off the deep end most of the time and without him around Benji had done just that. He had jumped headlong into an irrational depression. Well not completely irrational; there was Jackson. The scene of the smoldering village sprang to mind, he hadn’t had the courage to go in his friends place and see the death and destruction for himself. But he could still smell the rancid odor of burning wood, flesh.

Benji sat up quickly, rubbing at his eyes as he listened to Arnie. “You did?” Somehow he had not even thought of his friend sticking up for him. He assumed with Dorcas being so close to them Arnie would take their side. Well not really take their side but not say anything either. He had foolishly underestimated his best mate. And it appeared Arnie had overestimated him. Benji looked away at the mention of his muggle friend who had perished in a Death Eater attack over the summer. Tears welled up in his eyes, and anger surged through him. He clenched his fist and stood abruptly.

“He didn’t know anything about magic.” He said solemnly, gritting his teeth. It was just so unfair. This war was getting completely out of hand. He would have to do something about that as soon as he was able. “They killed him anyway, they killed them all. Just for living, just for breathing, just for being human and not having magic. How does that make sense?” he asked, not really expecting an answer because it didn’t make sense. Not to him. “And your right I did need my family because they knew him, loved him. But I needed you too because you know me, better than anyone you know me.”

He felt like some whimpering little first year. Complaining because his friend had gotten a girlfriend and didn’t have all the time in the world for him anymore, what a silly reason to ignore ones best mate. He looked up at Arnie, sadness overwhelming him. He had really messed up this time. “I’m sorry I ignored you bud, I don’t know what I was thinking, I just didn’t know what to say. But I could never be done with you man. We are going to be friends for life whether you like it or not. Besides who is going to keep me sane? I need you for that.” Benji smiled a genuine smile for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

[Arnie Peasegood]

Arnie looked over at the other bloke, confused at Benji's confusion. The older Gryffindor and his bestie had never liked Arnie's relationship with Dora, and had made that quite clear to her. Hell, they'd broken up with him through a letter "she" sent earlier this fall. He'd gotten a right laugh out of it - obviously it hadn't been Dorcas' handwriting - and, sure enough, an explanatory letter came shortly after, but...he'd had no one to share that funny moment with. The lunatic laughing in his dorm over a letter late at night. "Yeah, I did. Didn't like him to begin with, and after all that sh*t went down my opinion of him went down too. You didn't...know that?" All right, well - he couldn't entirely blame him for not knowing, seeing as how Benji hadn't seen Arnie around Black and Willa during the summer, but...still. "Wouldn't let him get away with saying stuff. You're my best friend."

Arnie shrugged slightly, hoping that the automaticity of the phrasing would still hold true after this conversation, that he wouldn't be called out on it when they hadn't been acting like best friends for what felt like an eternity. Overdramatic, much? It's only been six weeks. But it was hard to predict Benji's reactions, here - it shouldn't be, he did know him so well, but they'd gotten absolutely out of sync these past few months that it was, evidently, taking some time to get back on track. He saw this as Benji got immediately upset at Arnie carelessly brought up the friend who had died been killed. He should've phrased it better, said something less blunt, but - he was just trying to get to the bottom of this as fast as he could now that the can of worms had been opened. Watching intently as Benji stood, speaking in a way that Arnie had never heard him, he was...bloody ashamed of himself. How could he not have seen all this?

In the tense quiet that followed the other seventh year's words, Arnie tried to think before he spoke, not wanting to make things worse, and caused a bit of a delay. He'd heard the new Order members sharing stories, sentiments, such as his friend's, and had learned that when they got worked up there was no way to calm them but to carefully agree. "You're right," he finally settled. "There's no sense to any of it. And I'm sorry - God, I am, Benj." His voice cracked like he was a second year again as he struggled to contain his tumultuous feelings. He had failed his friend when he'd been most needed, and that was a hurt not simply dismissed. But now he and Benji were actually talking, about real things, in their dorm, and he could just feel that they were going to be okay after this. That sort of hope was something he'd lost track of, and did it feel good to feel it again.

He swallowed, meeting his best friend's eyes as he spoke, and felt an unfamiliar laugh start to bubble in his chest at Benji proclaiming that they were stuck for life. He let the laugh out, shaking his head as he got to his feet. It wasn't often that Arnie Peasegood was at a loss for words, but this was one of those moments. He ran a hand through his hair, still laughing - he couldn't stop. He was just so...relieved. His best friend was right there and he couldn't make up for their lost time or take back his inaction but -

"I keep you sane, you keep me sane - deal?"

[Benji Fenwick]

How could he have been so stupid? Sure finding love and commitment changed people, but not so much that he should have thought his best friend lost all basic human decency. He should have known Arnie would stick up for him. He knew the other boy had never liked Sirius Black There you said his name and didn’t want to blow something up, or rather thought it. It was one of the many things they shared. They both could not stand the Marauders and Black in particular. Why would he think Arnie would suddenly change his mind just because Dorcas was so close with the older boy?

A lesser human being might, but this was Arnie! Benji felt horrible for thinking his friend wouldn’t choose his side. Not that there were sides. There was Benji and all his hurt and then there was everyone else, happy for the new couple. Okay maybe he wanted to blow something up on that thought. “I did, I knew, I just didn’t…think. I haven’t been thinking properly if at all.” Scratching his head he sighed. He had really mucked this one up. It wasn’t even fair to be angry with him over Jackson. It was selfish to want to share pain like that with anyone, and Arnie was completely in his right mind to think Benji would rather his family. It just showed Benji had failed in showing his best mate how much he cared for and needed him around. He would have to work hard to fix that.

“Don’t be sorry bro, you didn’t know.” He said quietly, rubbing at his palm with his thumb. “I’ve just been a mess and it wasn’t fair to you. I’m the one that’s sorry.” Thankfully, he embraced his friend. Normally they weren’t the emotional, touchy feely friends, but Benji felt they both needed a good hug from the other. To reaffirm their friendship if nothing else. He pulled away, wiping at his eyes and instead of moving to his own bed he plopped down on Arnies, grabbing a handful of beans.

The tough stuff out of the way, well mostly, Benji was sure they would revisit both subjects again. And probably again and again. But right now Benji had another problem. One he almost forgot completely about in lieu of setting things right with his best mate. “Arn I have a problem, I mean another problem.” He gave Arnie a you-know-me type of grin then let out a noise full of frustration. “It’s Carolyn! I think I like her, like really like her. But I’m so confused! I loved Willa.” He paused; he had never really said that before, not to her, not to anyone. But he knew it was true, why else would he be a total wreck for months after she broke it off with him. “And I’m still not over her.” That was obvious. “But Caro, I don’t know, I just like her now. And it’s getting weird for me because we were friends before and for her nothing has changed but for me I’m getting all jittery and how I normally am with girls. She makes me feel, you know, I’m attracted to her in that way for sure. What do I do?!”

[Arnie Peasegood]

Arnie felt an ache of sympathy for his friend as he admitted to not having a clear head about anything, it seemed. As Ravenclaws they were both prone to overthinking on any day, and Arnie knew there was nothing more frustrating than circular thoughts, which were so easy to get caught in when problems seemed too big. But he shook his head at his best friend's insistence that he shouldn't feel sorry - they'd both messed up, as only teenage guys could, but the heavy air started to clear as they hugged. After, Benji took a seat on Arnie's bed, scooping out a selection of beans like the last few weeks hadn't happened, and Arnie was only too happy to join him.

He smirked, popping a few beans himself, as Benji started to unload, but his eyes widened as he mentioned Carolyn. Hadn't he taken Pan to Hogsmeade - a girl who happened to be Caro's best friend? What had he missed? He listened, attention rapt, as the other boy went on - saying that he had loved Willa, a sentiment that Arnie had never heard - and he nodded along as he tried to play catch-up with all of this new information.

"You and these women, mate - can't live with them, can't live without them," he said, chuckling at the triteness but trueness of the saying. He gave a sigh, looking at his friend with consideration, before he continued, trying for his best advice. It wouldn't do to screw up his friend's love life again right after they'd reconciled.

"You sure nothing's changed for Caro? Have you expressed any sort of interest?" he asked, although he was pretty certain that his friend hadn't. "Nobody's a mind-reader, Benj - if you're feeling that way for her and want something to happen, ask her out point-blank. Girl like Caro, that's what she'll need. There's nothing wrong with friends becoming more, and it actually could work out great, since you already know each other so well. Feelings grow, y'know? And as for still having feelings for her," he said, a bitter note tainting his speech as he thought of how the ex-Hufflepuff had treated his mate, "maybe if you let yourself feel that way for Caro, Willa'll be out of your head for good. Not like Caro'd be replacing her or anything, but, y'know, just shifting things about. It's grand that you're feeling for someone else, Benj - really is. But I've gotta ask - I thought you and Pan were a thing? I disappear for a while and you've got all the ladies, is that how it works?" This was mostly a joke, and to show it he gave his friend's leg a joking prod with his foot.

[Benji Fenwick]

Benji shook his head, a bashful grin on his face. “Isn’t that the rule of thumb when dealing with females?” He had the impression most men felt this way about girls in general. They were a right pain to live with and impossible to live without. It just so happened Benji was a particularly wonky case in this division. He had more trouble with girls than anyone he knew. But as of late he seemed to be getting the swing of things.

The seventh year listened intently to his friend as he spoke. Comments, concerns, advice; he took it all in. He knew he needed his friend in this time. Arnie always had good insight, and it was better to ask someone not involved. He had the distinct advantage of being on the outside looking in. Besides having someone to bounce concerns off of he had just missed his friend in general.

He listened to his mate and then groaned. “Of course I haven’t mentioned it! This is still me man, total loss when it comes to girls I like.” Benji looked away rubbing vigorously at his face. “And I don’t know I’m pretty sure nothing has changed for her. She isn’t acting any different.” He sat up looking out the tower window, his mind racing with confusing thoughts. Benji pushed his palms into his eyes trying to sort them out. “I know she won’t know unless I tell her. She isn’t the best at reading people that way.” He smiled to himself. “But how can I? I don’t want to mess things up with her, I like being her friend.”

He took a deep breath before he broached the still slightly sensitive subject of Willa. “And no one can ever replace her, but I guess I can’t spend my life moping about. I just, I mucked things up pretty bad with Willa, I don’t think we can ever be friends again, and Carolyn I just can’t imagine her not being in my life. I’ve grown quite fond of her see?” Benji smiled sadly turning back and resuming his lounging position on his friends four poster. Then laughed. “Mate I forgot you don’t know! Pan and I aren’t a real thing! She-“ he stopped, looking around their dorm to make sure Xenophilius wasn’t around. “Pandora fancies X mate, I’m just helping her try and get noticed seeing as that bloke is oblivious. Pan is a good friend is all, sweet girl. And obviously not seeing as you still only have the one girl, or maybe it just works for me.” He finished with laugh punching his friend lightly in the arm.

[Arnie Peasegood]

Hearing Benji speak about Carolyn was refreshing, even though he was so obviously conflicted - that affection in his voice, the gentle smile he wore when talking about her. It was more than good to see him hung up on a girl again, and Arnie felt confident that things would go better this time around. He chuckled knowingly as Benji spoke of their housemate not reading people well, having felt that himself, and had to encourage his friend.

"Yeah, she's a great friend, but if you're having these feelings for her they're not just going to go away," Arnie replied with a slight shrug. "Friendship'll get weird if you're thinking things beyond it. Better to just be straightforward, be honest with her."

He listened carefully as Benji spoke of his feelings about Willa, curious as to how he was faring now that it'd been a few months since the two had spoken, been face-to-face. He could still remember Benji showing up to Dora's flat, bloodied and bruising from his altercation with Sirius, the first time he'd seen Willa since the break-up.* Not only had his friend's already tattered heart been even more mangled, but his body had been too, and Arnie had felt helpless in those moments as Dora patched him up, using her skills from Mungo's and the Hospital Wing. It'd been bloody absurd, the whole thing, and only reaffirming of his distaste for the graduated Gryffindor, kicking Benji when he was down. And Willa allowing it. But he tried to put that away as Benji spoke, nodding at his points.

"Glad you're self-proclaimed 'fond' of Caro, mate," he said with a grin, popping a few beans into his mouth as he thought. "Great girl. And I can see your worry, does make sense given the past - but it'd be a different relationship with Caro than with Willa. She was just your first, Benj - you learned a lot, and sure it didn't all go as planned, but you can take all that and move forward, y'know? And Caro isn't her - she's Caro. It'll be different, and a good different, I'd be willing to bet. And...can't just be thinking about it potentially ending, Benj. That's going to always be a possibility, but if you let that get the best of you, you'll never go for anything, right? Boring life, that'd be."

Arnie was glad to hear his friend’s laugh at his question about Pandora, even if what followed showed him even more how out of the know he was. He laughed with Benji, shaking his head. “Well, that makes things...simpler, in a way, at least, since there’s not feelings involved there. So you’re just trying to be a good friend back, but - Merlin love you, Benji, because what’re you doing getting into a fake relationship when you want an actual one with the girl’s best friend? Does Caro know it’s a ruse? Because if she doesn’t, that could be why she’s not changing her attitude towards you too, thinks you’re taken and all.” Arnie hoped that this was the case for not only Benji’s sake, but his also - did everyone know that Benji and Pan were only faking except Xeno and himself?

“And I am fine having only the one,” he returned, grinning. “Even if I wanted to, you’re showing me to not juggle them.”

*which we can totally do!

[Benji Fenwick]

Listening to Arnie advising him to be straight forward, just to tell Carolyn how he felt, well it was positively blood boiling. Not that he was angry at Arnie for simply saying what any good friend would. He was just extremely annoyed with himself for not being able to do something so simple as talking to a girl about how he felt in regards to her. It should have been easy given their standing friendship and all but for Benji that just made it ten times harder. “Argh mate! I wish I could!” And he really did. He really did wish he could say ‘Hey Caro, I think you great as a friend but what do you think about being my girlfriend.’

He flopped back on his friend’s bed, grabbed a handful of beans and popped one into his mouth, then made a face. “Grass.” He stuck out his tongue worked to swallow then shrugged. “Could have been worse.” He said grinning at his friend, temporarily taking his mind of the dilemma at hand. But it was only for a moment. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it will be different or maybe it will be just the same. I just can’t lose her all together like that. I mean I still miss Willa, not just because she was my first…love. But because she was such a great friend, we had so much in common, we could talk, and laugh, and just hang out. And now I can’t even look at her straight. And she wants nothing to do with me.”

Benji stared dissolutely at the canopy of his best mates bed. “For any other bloke this wouldn’t be a problem.” He said more to himself before turning back to his friend. “And it’s not just that, I want her, like that. I have never done that before, what if I’m shite? If everything goes well until then I’ll probably screw that up to. Not saying it will go that far only that I want it to. Is that weird? Am I weird?” Benji thought he must be for how many times shagging his friend crossed his mind.

But Benji had to laugh at his friend’s surprise. “I do believe Caro knows, otherwise she might not be so comfortable with me if she thought I was really dating her best friend. She isn’t the most secure person either. And i'm not like a saint friend or soemthing look at what I did to you. Besides Pan is a sweet girl you would do the same.” Benji doubted Carolyn would be so easy with him if she thought he and Pandora were really so snug, and if Arnie knew Pandora the way he did, he would want to help her out, he was just that kind of bloke. If the other boy didnt already have a girlfriend that was. “But you do have a point, maybe that is why, or maybe she just doesn’t like me that way. Either way I’ll never know. And now I just feel like I’m running in circles.” And he did feel like his mind just kept revolving around the same problem. “How is Dorcas? Still amazing I’m assuming. And no juggling girls is no fun not that I really am of course that would be such a tool move.” He added with a grin.

[Arnie Peasegood]

At his friend's obvious discomfort and frustration and too-familiar line, Arnie groaned, chucking a few beans at him. "Then stop wishing and do it!" he said loudly, punctuating the words with more beans, not quite caring that his bed was now going to be smelling like candy for the foreseeable future.

...he meant well.

Arn held up a hand, knowing the oncoming argument, knowing he may've just pissed him off again, and continued quickly, "'It's not as easy as that,' etc. - Benji, if you don't push yourself, I'm going to. You deserve more than pining after a girl, mate. The worst she can say is no, and then you've got some awkward time to fill up before you're back to normal - but it's already awkward, innit? And the best she can say is yes. Willing to give up that chance?" He raised his brows in challenge, eyeing him curiously. They were no Gryffindors, but Arnie thought courage belonging solely to one House was bullocks anyway. Benji could do this, if he just got out of his head. Difficult, yes - but doable. He chuckled at his friend's misfortune with the grass-flavored bean, chewing a popcorn one himself, and listened as he continued on about Willa. Arnie knew it was hypocritical to find the girl so loathsome as he'd once pushed the relationship, putting the girl on a pedestal, but it was difficult to keep his face somewhat neutral as Benji spoke of what he missed about her. It made sense in his worries about changing things with Caro, but Arnie hoped to Merlin and anyone else listening that this girl wouldn't screw his best mate over as the other had.

Caro would be kinder to his heart, wouldn't she?

"Least Willa's not here, Benj," he said, knowing it was unhelpful but not able to come up with anything better just yet. "But...just remember they're different girls. My break-ups, well - okay, MJ and I aren't on good terms, Nat either, but Isabel and I've gotten a friendly enough thing back, same with Daisy. Even if you split, that's not a sign you've got to be done with the person altogether. She just may've been better as a friend than a girlfriend. And Willa not wanting to be around you...it's her loss, mate."

Arnie's brows quirked as his friend admitted to wanting the little blonde Ravenclaw, and he began to laugh.

This was likely another unhelpful thing for him to do, but he couldn't stop, especially as his friend asked about how weird he was.

"Not to keep bringing it back to me, but my only reliable frame of reference - do you think I thought everything would be grand with me and Dora our first go around? Benji, I was scared out of my mind that I'd be horrible, delayed it for months." He shook his head, hair shifting out of his eyes, and gave Benj an understanding grin as he shrugged. "It's gonna be a work-in-progress sort of thing, and you'll both know it. And that's fine."

Arnie gave another exasperated groan as Benji admitted to his circular thoughts, but was glad that Caro was at least in on the plot. "You are going to know. Because you're going to do something about it. Unless you'd prefer I go talk with her," he said with a devious grin, jokingly making to get up.

Arnie settled back down as Dora was brought up, grinning back at his friend's tease. "She's well, thanks - going to be damn relieved to hear about this, been driving her nuts with my venting. She's still doing paperwork mostly, so that's a drag, but we're doing all right. Distance sucks, and there's lots of opportunity for miscommunication when you're just writing - you know my word choices aren't always the best. But...it's just temporary. Keep reminding myself of that, anyway."

[Benji Fenwick]

Benji shook his head vigorously, picking at a loose thread on his friends duvet. Yes, no nohe was not willing to give up the chance of never knowing if maybe she would have said yes. How could he know though! “But she could very well say no.” he argued out loud. “It’s awkward for me not her. I mean she may not even notice I’m acting strangely.” It was like a war in his mind and very suddenly he felt awful for bringing Arnie into his inner turmoil after having treated him so abysmally these last weeks. “And after what I did when I saw her and Black together this summer I don’t think I deserve anything better.”

Not one of his shining moments for sure. He had completely lost composure and physically tried to assault the older boy. Tried being the operative word there. “How can you say that?” Benji exclaimed, beating a fist on the mattress. He wasn’t angry with Arnie per say, it was just…frustrating. Benji was his own worst enemy. “I mean sure, she isn’t here and that makes it better, sometimes. But it isn’t here loss; it will always, always be my loss. And that’s cool I think, think, I have come to terms with that. I’m trying to move on here mate, but listen to what you just said: Two out of four girls you’ve dated aren’t friends with you anymore. So basically what you are saying is it’s a fifty fifty shot she will never speak to me again when I tell her how I feel. I don’t think I like those odds.”

He took a deep breath and flopped back onto the bed, having said his whole spiel in one breath. Trying to work things out out loud was a lot more cathartic than constantly thinking about things and getting nowhere. With Arnie he had a sounding board, someone with a bit of experience. “Well yea logically speaking I won’t come out like some sex god or anything. But what if ya know, I’m like extra bad? What if I’m a two minute man?” He asked, hearing his sister’s voice as he said those last words, as that’s where he got the term from. Apparently two minute men were the worse men. “And I must say mate, you are a complete dunce for waiting so long if she wanted it. Could have dropped you at any minute ya know.” Benji teased him, trying to sound light.

His shook his head again, no he would never have the kahunas to come out and tell Carolyn he thought she was ace and would one day like to do questionable things to her body. Well even if he told her he liked her, he would never tell her that last bit. How embarrassing would that be. “You will not utter a word.” He warned, his tone broking no argument. He would do worse than ignore the other boy if he ever mentioned Benjis attraction to Caro to the girl herself. “It’s only for a little while, besides hols are coming up and I’m sure I won’t hear a word from you the whole time you two will be stuck like glue.” He said in mock seriousness, holding his crossed fingers up. “And yes I can imagine your word choice is very poor, should just meet up with her. Don’t her friends know a million ways in and out of this place?”

[Arnie Peasegood]

Arnie...had not expected that explosive of a reaction when he'd spoken about Willa. He sat a bit straighter, waiting for his friend to get out whatever he needed to get out. What he said was making sense enough, but Benji knew that there would never be a 100% certainty with girls, didn't he? "Odds schmodds, Benji," he said dismissively. "Look - you're never going to know for sure. And it sucks - seriously, I know, it's the worst. But you're obviously driving yourself mad debating this, and will be until you've done something about it. And I doubt Caro would drop you just for saying that - not like you actually have been dating or anything, she'd just give you some time to get over her, and then get back to normal."

"She would not have dropped me," Arnie said gruffly, even though he'd worried the same thing the year before. Many times. But his friend was being ridiculously worried about doing that with a girl who he couldn't even talk to about anything real. "And since you're not even going to tell Caro about your feelings, you don't really have to worry about doing that with her. So that's one worry you don't need to have, for the time." Unless you can man up and tell the girl you like her. He raised his brows slightly, wanting his mate to challenge him on this. If he was seriously considering sleeping with Carolyn - and genuinely liked her as a person, besides - maybe poking the bear with this issue could get him to talk.

"Merlin's beard, Benjamin - would you breathe?" Arnie shook his head, chucking a bean at him after he'd been threatened, essentially. "So, what - if she asks me about you, or you somehow come up in conversation, I'm supposed to lie to the girl? Not give any indication that you'd be interested in more than what you've got, even if it seems like she does?" As Benj continued, he caused the other boy to chuckle as he munched a birthday cake flavored bean, but Arnie was again shaking his head by the end. "Yeah, right, well - send a Howler, mate," he said, grinning. "And they do," he said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as he realized he had to only give his friend half-truths here, "but her friends have amused themselves with taking bets on when we're going to break up, and she's beyond busy with the - with work, besides. She's been freelancing for healing stuff, it's really unpredictable, has her working weekends a lot."

[Benji Fenwick]

The boy could only shake his head. Arnie didn’t know Caro. She would probably feel awkward knowing he liked her and she didn’t like him. She would probably think she was hurting him, and she would be, and that would make her feel bad. Really he was just protecting her feelings by not saying anything at all. She was just, everything. She had become everything. Her smile, her eyes, her hair that smelled really nice.

Again and again he ran himself loopy in circles. He plopped another bean in his mouth, Arnie was the best distraction. He needed his best mate, and he would make it up to him for being so crappy. “You’re right I shouldn’t even worry about it. And I’m not.” Except he kept thinking about it. “You are wrong though. She totally would have ditched you. Thought you may have been funny.”

Benji had a glare for his friend when he called him by his birth name. No one ever called him that except his parents and his sister when she wanted to be hexed. “She won’t come to you.” He said surely. Carolyn if she went to anyone about him would be Pan, her best friend and most trusted confidant. Arnie was safe, as long as he didn’t go seeking her out bringing him up. “Just let me handle this.”

Benji could only smile at his friend; even a howler wouldn’t do it. He would miss Arnie again. But it seemed his friend really missed his girlfriend. And Dorcas was a missable girl Benji couldn’t blame him. “Hols are soon. Maybe then you guys can get some time. What you going to get her?”

[Arnie Peasegood]

His friend's insistence at not worrying about doing questionable things with their fellow Ravenclaw was hilarious, seeing as it was so glaringly blatant that Benji's mind was absolutely in the gutter about this girl. Nothing wrong with that - Arnie figured Carolyn would feel the same once she knew if she didn't already, his mate was a catch and Caro was smart enough to know that unlike some people. But a laugh burst out of him at Dorcas ever thinking he was "funny" - they had done quite a few, ah, things before taking that step together. Dora shouldn't have had any doubts about him, that was for sure, so he just gave his friend a good natured shake of his head. No need to get into the details again.

Benji was not taking any of this lightly, and Arnie felt himself a bit at a loss at the right glare he received as well as being told Caro wouldn't come to him. He didn't believe it. "Why not? If we're back to normal she'll notice, and if she's got questions but doesn't feel up to asking you..." Arnie gave the other bloke a raise of his brows, letting his meaning hang between them. If Carolyn wasn't going to be up front with Benji if-or-more-likely-when she developed feelings, she would come to him! It just made sense! To find out what was in Benij's mind, go to the best friend. Which Arnie was more than happy to be again, if they could keep going over this hump. And if Caro asked him? He wasn't going to lie. He wouldn't flat out tell her much, but he would help her see that there were glorious possibilities for her if instead of him she was speaking with Benji...

But he held his hands up placatingly as Benji went on to insist that he could "handle" this on his own. Which was obviously going so well. Not to make himself seem self-important, but Arnie knew that the other needed him just as much as he needed Benji. Missing both him and Dora this term had done wonders to his state of mind, and his friend hadn't been doing much better - sure, he'd been getting closer with Pan and Caro which was to be celebrated, but he had no clue how to proceed. This was where Arnie came in, had always come in, and he hoped that their relationship wasn't so damaged that Benji wouldn't accept the help that Arnie wanted to give.

Talk turned to himself and Dora, and he felt beyond guilty lying to his friend's face about what the girl was up to. He couldn't very well tell Benji that his girlfriend was a member of a secret society hell bent on vanquishing evil from their planet.

Wouldn't be believed, for starters, and Dumbledore would have his head for spilling the metaphorical beans.

But that didn't help things sit any easier in his stomach as he had to perpetuate the lies. He did grin, though, at his mate's perception of time. "Hols are soon? Months before then, Benj," he said with a laugh. "Hopefully we will, though, just sucks to not have her here, and to know she's dealing with a lot out there." The letters they'd been exchanging regularly had shown beyond a doubt that neither was doing well without the other, and besides managing a long-distance relationship, Dora was also adjusting to life in the Order and living alone and all of the changes in her group of friends. It was a lot, and without being there Arnie didn't feel he was much help in seeing her through it all. "Dunno what to get her yet," he admitted, realizing it with a bit of a jolt to the gut. This holiday season would mark their second together, and their last had been nearly a break-up. He did not want to re-live that this year. "Needs to be something real good, though, so should probably get thinking..."