3 Oct: The First Admission: Potpin

[Remus Lupin]

Monday, 3 October 1977

His mind wasn’t focused tonight, and he knew James could tell. They’d been walking their rounds for five minutes now, and he’d mostly just been nodding in acknowledgement whenever James spoke up. Two days ago Gryffindor had won their Quidditch match, and that had resulted in a party like it always did. But something strange had happened at that party, and it was currently occupying his mind. He’d had a conversation with one Charlotte Fudge, and he hadn’t really stopped thinking about it since. They’d mostly just talked books, until Rufus had interrupted them - but it was a conversation he was repeating in his head. Over analyzing his every action, and wondering why he felt this weird feeling in his chest whenever he thought about her. He’d dug out his copying of The Count of Monte Cristo for her the night of the party, giving it her to her quietly at breakfast the next day. He wondered if she liked the book, and if she’d been thinking about him as much as he’d been thinking about her. It was foolish, for him to be thinking these sorts of things. But he was finding that he just couldn’t help himself.

He was lost deeper in his thoughts than he realized when he tripped on the stairs, but luckily he managed to not fall on his face. He shot James a grin, coughing to cover up his embarrassment as he straightened himself and continued on up the stairs. Smooth moves, Lupin. This was what he got for getting too deep into his own brain. But as they started down the hall near the library, another plan was forming in his mind. He was thinking about doing something bold, something out of the ordinary. Something that would get him into trouble, if he wasn’t careful about it. Something Daisy had been suggesting to him non stop since last year. He cleared his throat as he looked at James, “So uh, I’ve been thinking. I’ve been thinking too much really, but that’s besides the point. The point is...I can’t believe I’m saying this… the point is that I find myself in a predicament.” That was one way to describe it, but he was sure James just wanted him to get on with his words. “You know Charlotte Fudge, yeah? I mean, none of us know her well. But I’d liked to. Get to know her, that is. Are you following me here?”

[James Potter]

James had the acute sense that he could be talking about anything, and so long as he kept within his normal range of candor, Remus would nod along to whatever he said.

Scratch the prank on the medusas - our next one has to be streaking through the Great Hall at dinner. You don't mind being in front, right?

    I'm going to live as Prongs in the Forest from now on. No more classes, no more responsibilities, no more drama. Only frolicking. Might join up with the centaurs, if they'll have me.

He was glad to be on rounds with his mate, especially since they'd recently worked out a thing or two and had a killer prank to plan together, but instead of using this time to continue their plotting, it seemed as though Remus was wanting to trip over his own feet instead. James looked back to find the taller bloke with an unconvincing grin on, and decided to quiet his rather one-sided discussion on what could've gone better during their latest match. There was something eating at Moony, and he knew better by now than to try and force it out. He did wonder if whatever it was could be in relation to their last serious discussion a few weeks back - Lily knowing not only about his being a werewolf, but in the parts of the lot of them in that night in fourth year; his conflicted feelings about James having the Head Boy position - but felt that it had to be something different. Because Remus was tense, sure, but not in the same way as when James had pulled him from class...

He lengthened his steps to walk side-by-side with Remus, idly directing his wandlight into shadowed alcoves and gaining grunts of discontent from portraits who, in all fairness, should really be used to interrupted sleep by now, until his partner made an effort of clearing his throat. He looked over to find his mate stumbling over words instead of feet, and felt a wide grin forming on his own face. Charlotte Fudge was who had him so distracted? Not that she wasn't a pretty girl, and James was sure she was nice enough, but how had she even gotten into Remus's head?

"I know I said it'd feel like a Bludger to the chest, but I didn't expect you to take me so literally there," James remarked with a laugh, clapping Remus on the arm with his free hand. For Charlotte's brother was one of James's Beaters, after all - and a lifetime ago, their roommate had made his feelings about anyone making a move on his little sister clearer than any of the crystal balls up in the Divination classroom. And for Remus to introduce this as a "predicament" was pretty damn telling of how conflicted he was. But that he wanted to share this with James? Same team. Told you. "I feel like I've completely missed something - what's happened?"

[Remus Lupin]

Remus had never personally been hit in the chest by a bludger, but the weird feeling in his chest certainly did feel like something had hit him in the chest. He was anxious about this whole thing, and that was something he hadn’t expected. He’d been anxious around girls for ages now, but this was different. He wanted to think he’d left a good impression on Charlotte, that their conversation had been as interesting to her as it had been to him. He’d fancied girls before, but there was just something different about Charlotte. He’d noticed her over the years, mostly through helpful hints from Daisy who’d been trying to convince him to date Charlotte over the last couple of years. But he’d never had more than a brief conversation with her until the night of the Gryffindor party.

“You know how we talked at the party? That’s pretty much been it,” Remus admitted with a laugh, running a hand through his hair as he considered his next words. “I talked to her again at breakfast the next morning, but it was brief - didn’t want Rufus questioning me about it.” He had wanted to talk to her more that morning, had played different greetings in his head on the way down to breakfast. And it was silly to be worried of Rufus’ reaction when he was simply loaning Charlotte a book, because that was a perfectly normal thing for Remus to do. He’d let almost anyone borrow a book if they wanted. But Remus knew his actions weren’t innocent, not when it meant he’d get to talk to her again. It was all so confusing and conflicting in his brain. “I just think if I could get the chance to get to know her, there could be something there. But I don’t know where to even start.”

[James Potter]

James had to laugh with his mate as Remus admitted that one conversation had done him in with this girl. Remus Lupin: Hopeless Romantic. Never knew! And as Remus went on, James was, frankly, tickled pink. You see something with someone and want my advice? Well - my ear, at least? Seeing as James's love life hadn't ever gone very well for very long, and seeing as he was currently - and had been for too long - hung up on one of Remus's best friends, and seeing as they'd argued about that just a few weeks back, he was ecstatic. While they couldn't pretend that that argument hadn't happened, that the blows hadn't been shared, this felt like they were back to normal, and that was something to celebrate.

Even if James didn't have answers for the problems his friend faced, not really. Because he could understand the bloke's preoccupation and trepidation - this was the first crush Remus had had that he wanted to do something about, which was nerve-wracking in and of itself. But add in the factor of the overprotective brother, and that complicated things. And add in his furry little problem, which James felt was the root of his nerves, and...

Complicated. Yep.

    But he has a crush!

Obviously, Remus had to pursue his feelings. Damn the rest! It would work out - James and the others would make sure of it!

"She's made one hell of an impression pretty quickly," James said after a brief and thoughtful quiet, looking over to the other Marauder with a grin. "And I don't think you need to have had more interaction for you to feel like this, don't get me wrong - your gut's talking to you, y'know? You want the chance to get to know her - so let's figure out how to create that opportunity." He nudged his brother's arm with his own, amused with turning his scheme-crafting mind to matchmaking work. "What's she like to do?"

[Remus Lupin]

Remus knew that this was silly. That one conversation with her shouldn’t have him in thinking about her so much. But it wasn’t just one conversation with her, not really. There had been been the summer before fifth, when Sirius had made fun of him for flirting with her even though he has clearly not been doing that. And then last year, when her and Daisy had surprised him in the hallway and he’d given her roses. Then, when he spouted Shakespeare at her across the lunch table when he was hanging out with Lily. But this conversation at the party, it was the first one they’d been able to have without someone’s ever watchful eye. At least - for the most part. Rufus had interrupted them, and while James and Lily had danced Remus had caught both of them staring at the two of them during their conversation. Then they’d been interrupted by Daisy, who had joined them when Charlotte had come back from calming Rufus down. It’d been an eventful evening, one that he was still replaying in his head as he walked with James.

And besides the times they had actually talked, he’d gotten plenty of pressure from one lovely individual known as Daisy. She was Charlotte’s best friend, and she’d been talking up the Charlotte for ages to him. Every time the topic of him dating had come up, she’d been there to sing Charlotte’s praises. And this year? When she’d mentioned it again on the train after she’d joined their compartment? Maybe he’d taken it to heart a little bit more than he normally would have. He’d found himself watching Charlotte when he could, hopefully without her or his friends noticing. He’d just wanted to see what she was really like, more than recommendations from Daisy and from reading the homework she’d done for Rufus. Maybe that was why he had let a love poem from Shakespeare escape him at lunch.

Because James was right, even with all of their past interactions - she’d made an impression on him the other night that he couldn’t let go of. He supposed part of that was the fact she had stood up to Rufus, which if he had to guess, was a rare occurrence. Rufus seemed like he always got his way, and his way was letting everyone know that his sister wasn’t to date any of them. How would Rufus even react if he found out what Remus was considering?

He grinned to his brother at his words, glad that he wasn’t crazy for the way he was feeling. But he had a moment of panic as James asked him what she liked to do, because books wasn’t a proper answer. Think Remus. “She likes history,” he began, recalling the events of the night as best she could. “She wants to write a history book, for use in schools.” Remus believed that she would do it as well, one day. And a silly part of him hoped that, no matter what, they’d be close enough that he could congratulate her in person. “She likes books, that was mostly what we talked about. Muggle books mainly.”

[James Potter]

The look on Remus's face at what James thought was an innocent and appropriate question was priceless. The bloke looked like a deer in the headlights - not that Mum and Dad ever needed to know exactly how James knew that feeling so acutely - and James had to let out a little laugh, looking away from the panic and around them to their duty until Remus spoke up.  But when he did, the Head Boy was properly - momentarily, nothing they couldn't accomplish when their minds were put together - stumped. Because what was he supposed to do with that? History, writing, muggle books? Remus couldn't take her to a muggle bookshop, or watch her write a manuscript, or chat up the Grey Lady with her and call it a date. But with how Remus was speaking about her...James could tell he was already done for, and really, it didn't matter what they did. He'd gotten that same lovesick look in his eye, that same wondering tone of how does this perfect girl exist, that James couldn't control when thinking about Evans. And, he realized guiltily, the same sort of look Doe had had the other night when clearing things up about...Peasegood. Still got some fixing to do there. At least this is going better than that fiasco.

"All right - all right, grand, we've got a spot to start!" James encouraged, smirking as they passed the statue of the One-Eyed Witch. "Not like you're not enough of a fan of those things too, eh? Mr. Book Club? Should be easy enough to strike up a conversation and keep it going." Easy enough, except for getting the nerve to do it. But you want to, mate - it'll be fine. "So is the question really...where? Think she'd go to Tomes and Scrolls? Could casually run into her there, if you can wait the few weeks until Hogsmeade. Or there's always the library, enough hidey-holes in there for a private conversation." He wasn't sure if it was due to his and the boys's proclivity for discovery or his new assignments that had enlightened him to just how many nooks and crannies there were in the often misused place created for academia - not that Remus was mulling over anything with Charlotte that would get them written up, James assumed. But privacy was important in this, considering...

"Won't say anything to Ruff until your go-ahead, of course, but - er - what're you thinking to do about that?"