September: Not Enough Chocolate - Girls Dorm - Daisy

[Charlotte Fudge]

Crying over a boy was a rather unpleasant business, but Charlotte hadn't been able to get herself to stop since she'd returned to her bed.

Her time with Remus that day had gone anything but as planned. He'd brought a number of issues to the surface.

    1.) Sirius and James were so involved in their personal grief that they weren't attentive to "everyone else" also being in pain.
    2.) Sirius and James were making waves by complaining about not being promoted within the Order.
    3.) Peter wasn't doing well after the break-up, and Remus resented Daisy for her actions, Charlotte for maintaining her friendship with the other girl.
    4.) Remus may not believe her when she said she wouldn't leave him.

And then came her favorite.

    5.) Secrets Things she could not understand that were causing him to act unlike himself.

The issues by themselves - except for the last - were manageable if one could be rational about them.

    1.) Call out the boys. They were stubborn and grieving, but they needed to be reminded that were not in isolation, and neither had the death of their parents been.
    2.) Again - call out the boys. Remind them that they were all frustrated, but that one must do their due diligence, that there is this structure for a reason.
    3.) Well - this was trickier, and she'd tried being rational with him about it. He hadn't taken it well. She'd have to come back to this.
    4.) Continue to press this point.

But how could she help with the last when he was adamant about not telling her and insisting she couldn't understand. And he'd said he'd been putting on a face to cover all of this up, which was in and of itself a worry on the girl's thin shoulders. If Remus didn't know he could trust her after all they'd been through, that he could unload these things and the rest and she'd do nothing but try and help - what was she doing wrong? She wiped her running nose on the long sleeve of her cardigan, dropping her head onto her arms. Not having felt hungry for dinner, she'd come straight up after returning from the village, and had been glad for the rare minutes of privacy to continue thinking. Because there had to be a reason for his sudden change, if she could only think things through properly.

But her thoughts were becoming circular - he's still grieving which can cause shortness of temper and other oddities in mood but it's to be expected that he's grieving so why couldn't he come out and say it there must be more going on and what have I been missing for the past months as he's been hiding his worries and he's still grieving I shouldn't be so pushy he needs time but he needs to know he can share - taking her in no helpful direction, and the frustration of it was fueling her current out-of-character teariness.

[Daisy Hookum]

Daisy had been crying for weeks. Crying in the dorm, crying in class. Crying at dinner, crying herself to sleep. Everything she had seen in her future was gone, and she wasn't handling it well. She hadn't wanted to end things with Peter, but after this summer she was terrified. Her mother had told respected her decision, even if she had been just as upset as her daughter. But dating someone so far away, and someone who may not come home at night because they were killed in the war? It was a terrible thing, and Daisy simply couldn't handle it. So she'd asked Peter to leave. To not stay in the Order, he could have a nice normal job right?

The answer had been no. And so she had made up her mind. She couldn't bear this, being without him, but she would heal eventually. She would find someone else, right? She was upset all the time, but surely, things would get easier. It had only been a few weeks after all. And today, well, it had been difficult to get out of bed. Charlotte was going to Hogsmeade to see Remus, and Daisy was delighted that her friend would get to see her boyfriend. But it hurt, because in a different time, it could have been both of them going. So she hadn't gone when Alex and Charlotte had left, instead she had curled up in bed with chocolate.

Eventually, though, she had given up. She wasn't going to miss the festivies of being in her last year because she was sad. Besides, she was single. She might as well go find a boy to flirt with. Maybe just a little rebound, to prove that she was going to eventually been worth it to someone else. So she'd rolled out of bed and showered, put on a nice dress and done her hair and makeup before making her way to Hogsmeade.

That was where it got interesting. She'd gone to the Three Broomsticks, hoping to find someone by themselves. And well, she had. She'd found Peter. Peter Pettigrew, the boy who still had a grasp on her heart. She hadn't realized that he would be there, hadn't put the pieces together when Charlotte had mentioned there had been an Order meeting yesterday. One thing had let to another and well, she'd gone off with him. For a few hours.

It was late, and she was rushing back to the castle, trying to adjust her clothing and hair as best as possible as she hurried in with the last of the stragglers. She gave a sheepish grin to the teacher standing by the door, before darting towards the common room. Charlotte was going to yell at her, and she was already upset enough with herself. She shouldn't have been snogging her ex-boyfriend, especially when she was trying to get over him.

Reaching the common room, she followed a group of students in, hurrying up to the dorm. She wasn't sure if Charlotte would be there, but when she opened the door, she hadn't expected to see Charlotte crying. She dropped her bag, hurrying over to her best friend, pulling into her a hug. She stroked the girls hair, hoping it wasn't too evident what she'd been doing only a few minutes ago.

"Char! What's wrong sweetie?"

[Charlotte Fudge]

Hearing steps up the stairwell, Char sighed and gave her eyes a swipe, but that small act did nothing to deter the girl who arrived. Daisy knew her better than anyone, really, and Charlotte was glad it was her who had found her. She sat and gratefully accepted the hug, settling her head onto her friend’s shoulder. She remained quiet for a few moments after her friend’s question, trying to figure out what to do, what to say - she didn’t want Daisy knowing that Remus held the break-up with Peter against her, not wanting to add to the other girl’s stress, but there was so much that was suddenly wrong! She’d never felt this way, that her worry for someone else was so much more than any she’d felt for herself.

Love. It was a tricky, delicate thing to hold, and Charlotte feared that her inexperienced hands were not adequate to handle it.

"There’s something wrong with Remus and he’s not telling me, and I’m fairly certain the worry of it is going to drive me mad," she said in a rush. Figuring that further explanation would likely be helpful in assisting her friend to understand what was the matter, she said a muffled, "We fought. We never fight - I don’t know what to do. I suppose it’s only natural that it’ll happen sometimes - I shouldn’t be surprised - but we just always get on so well, you know?" She sighed, steadying her breathing as her friend held her. "I could hardly recognize him, the way he was being, Daisy." The quiet admission...frightened the girl, if she was being terribly honest.

[Daisy Hookum]

Charlotte was not supposed to be upset. She'd gotten to spend the day with Remus, the perfect boy for her, and Daisy was so conflicted. She knew Charlotte had been looking forward to this day, that things had been going so great for the two of them. She knew Remus was still feeling guilty for the fact Charlotte had been hurt at the wedding, Peter had mentioned that to her. But something like that wouldn't make Charlotte this upset. She stroked the girls hair quietly, waiting for Charlotte to answer her question. Whatever was wrong, she wanted to fix it. She had to fix it. Daisy only had her mother and Charlotte now, she couldn't bear to see either of them upset.

She frowned at Charlotte's answer. Something was wrong with Remus? Peter hadn't said anything, although they hadn't exactly discussed that topic today. But something was wrong and they had been in a fight. Was is their first fight? Daisy couldn't remember hearing of another one the two had experienced. "Oh sweetheart. I'm sorry, I really am. I wish I could give you an answer but I don't know Remus as well as you do, he was always distant. Maybe it's just work getting to him? It's bound to be rough, after all. Especially after what happened this summer," Daisy said as wiped some makeup from the other girl's face.

The question was looming in her mind, but it wasn't one Daisy wanted to ask. Still, she needed to know. Charlotte was distraught and she needed Daisy right now, that much was certain. "You two didn't...you know...break up right? It was just a fight?" Not that Daisy had much ground to be angry with Remus if that had occurred, considering her choice at the end of the summer regarding Peter. Still, she would be sending a strongly worded letter to Lupin if he broke Charlotte's heart.

[Charlotte Fudge]

She felt so young and out-of-place, wrapped in the arms of her small friend, relying on her as she so rarely did. Charlotte loved her friends, this girl in particular, but had always done her best to be self-sufficient. If she couldn't make something happen herself, she'd try another avenue, and another, before going for help. It wasn't because she didn't trust others, but rather that she...wanted to prove to herself that she could do whatever task had been set. But she realized, here, that she wasn't equipped to handle this. Daisy, with her years-long relationship, had a much better sense of things than she did.

So she nodded after Daisy spoke and cleaned her up, the reason she brought up being logical. "It has been a stress, and I know he's still torn up about it all," she said, glad that she didn't need to elaborate on the situation, seeing as both girls had witnessed the horror at James and Lily's wedding. "But he takes pride in the work, so I hope it's not that."

“No! No, no, we didn’t,” she said quickly in response to her friend asking if they'd broken up, heart speeding up in fear of that happening. Wiping her eyes, frustrated, she leaned slightly away from her friend to see her and continued. "You're right, it was "just" a fight, but we've not fought before. He brought up so much I'd not thought bothered him, and the way things are - it's things we're powerless to fix, being here. I've only needed to worry about myself before - worried for you too, of course, dear, but you know what I mean." Don't bring up Peter, she warned herself, knowing what worry for him had done to their relationship. "I know he can handle anything that's thrown at him with work - he's smart, more than proficient in what's going to be required, and I rather wish that was the crux of the oddness. But he - Daisy, he brought up my leaving him."

With a sigh she moved away from her friend, scooting to sit against her pillows. She reached over to her nightstand, opening up the drawer to pull out a large bar of partly-eaten Honeydukes' toffee chocolate. It was, of course, from Remus' stash - the fact of which sent a pang through her thin chest - but she needed something sweet. Unwrapping it and breaking off a piece, she held it out to her friend as she continued. "I don't know what would've given him that impression - it's only been a few weeks since the summer, and we knew going into this term that things would be different, that it would be long distance. But I'd never break things off because of that. Distance is temporary, and I love him - it'll be worth any stress, being with him when I can." The girl paused, musing over the situation as she ate the piece of chocolate, soon breaking off another bit. A summer of living off of chocolate and tea, essentially, had caused quite the need for it. Just as you need Remus.

[Daisy Hookum]

Daisy had never seen Charlotte this upset. Sure, the girl had her moments where she was just as annoyed about something as the rest of them. But Charlotte never broke down and needed someone else. That was always Daisy. Daisy was the one who came crying to Charlotte, mascara running, after ever single snide comment or argument her and Peter had over the years. After every failed test or assignment, after anything that sent Daisy crying - Charlotte was the one she went to. Sometimes it was Peter, but the two cheered her up in different ways. And now, Charlotte was all she had. Daisy had spent weeks curled up in her friends arms absolutely sobbing over the decision she had made. So to see Charlotte like this, to see her friend broken, it tugged at her heart strings.

Daisy continued to smooth Charlotte's hair, glad that the reasoning for Remus' stress seemed sound. While she had always like the older boy, something had seemed off about him. And so she wasn't as close to him as she would have liked to be, he just seemed to distance himself from everyone. Not letting anyone too close, except Charlotte. And Daisy had been delighted when they finally starting dating, they were absolutely perfect for each other. But perhaps he was still holding more back, and it was a concerning though. Still, now was not the time, so she simply nodded. "They all take pride in the work, but it can't be easy. It was their first meeting yesterday, I don't imagine in was pleasant."

It was just a fight. But, Daisy frowned, her and Peter had been just a fight at first too. Just Daisy being upset about the whole ordeal, it had started as a fight and then Daisy had broken down, and she had ended things. That wasn't what Charlotte was going to do though, no, Charlotte was much stronger than Daisy. She could handle the Order, she could accept the idea that maybe Remus wouldn't be around one day because of his choices. That was something that was hard to swallow, something Daisy wished she could deal with. But Charlotte's words got to her, Remus thought she would leave? Her frown grew, and she gave a sigh, wishing that she had a good answer to give. "Peter and I," Daisy started, choking on his name. How could she have been so stupid today? "We fought sometimes, you know. But that didn't mean anything bad. It's just something that happens. It was your first fight, I'm sure Remus will calm down, he'll see things rationally."

Daisy let Charlotte pull away, and kicked off her shoes, tucking her feet underneath her on Charlotte's bed. They spent a lot of time these days like this, eating chocolate and talking about how they felt. Daisy wished it was a different situation though, because she wasn't equipped to handle this one. Sure, she had more knowledge of being in a relationship, but Charlotte and Remus were so different from her and Peter. She accepted the chocolate, biting off the end as she nodded along with Charlotte's words, trying to ignore how much they stung. Daisy hated herself, why couldn't she be more like her friend? It wasn't the distance she had been concerned about, it had been the job. But even still, the two situations were similar. Daisy looked away, surveying the dorm quietly. "I don't know, Charlotte. Did he say anything else? There has to be some reason he thinks you're going to leave. And I can't think of one, you two have been writing each other practically every day. He gave you a key, I just don't understand it."

She knew the words weren't helping, but Daisy couldn't exactly place her finger on why Remus would have these thoughts. Everything had been going so well between Charlotte and him, it made no sense for him to suddenly be angry and upset. She popped the last of the chocolate piece in her mouth, before flopping down across Charlotte's bed, turning her head so she could still see her friend. "What all did he say he was upset about?"

[Charlotte Fudge]

“You’re right there,” Char said, letting out a sigh as her friend stroked her hair. “James and Sirius, apparently, were quite the complainers about it all, frustrated at still being Sappers. And Rem, he - he understands that it’s a process, and I’m sure he’s getting restless as well, but he’d never be that rude to Professor Dumbledore. He’s looked up to him so much, was so proud to be asked to join - it seemed to hit him really hard, that they were being so disrespectful.”

Charlotte knew that the boys couldn’t always agree on everything - they were four very different people, after all - but Remus was an only child; these weren’t just friends, the others were like his brothers. Realizing some fundamental differences like this, speaking out against Dumbledore, couldn’t have sat well with him. Not that he thought them all alike, she was sure, but alike enough to hold the same sort of respects. But the girl was pulled from her musings as Daisy continued, and Char was soon tightening her arms about her friend as she spoke of Peter. If Char had been more in her mind, she would’ve tried to compose herself before anyone had arrived at the dorm - this was what she’d wanted to avoid, hurting her friend by putting her own problems onto her, and problems that were inextricably linked to Peter through Remus’ closeness with him. “Thanks, Daisy,” she said quietly, her friend’s logic making sense. “I suppose it’s just that it’s the first - that and I don’t know when I’ll see him again - that’s got me so unravelled.”

Glad that her friend was joining her, trying to help her muddle through this, Char munched on the chocolate, trying not to be pulled to one of the many times she’d just sat and thought and had chocolate with the boy she loved, discussing anything from the world to literature to names for their likely-to-fail plants. Those were simple, happy times, quite unlike her current situation.

“I don’t understand it either,” she said, giving her friend a shrug as she gathered her legs to herself, a sharp glint to her bright eyes. “We’ve tried to be so honest about feelings and such, and I know he loves me, and I know that he knows I do as well. But that didn’t seem to matter, it was the oddest thing. It didn’t matter how I said it, he still didn’t seem convinced I was going to stay. I - I’m missing something here, Dais, and I’ve no idea what it could be.” The words were frustrated, heated, and she wanted to separate her feelings from this and approach this in the way she’d go sleuthing about to puzzle out an academic riddle. She wasn’t used to feeling ignorant, and it wasn’t something she would get used to, she knew.

“He also brought up everyone grieving for the Potters,” she said a bit more evenly, trying to rein in her thoughts. “Sirius and James aren’t taking it well, but neither is anyone else, of course. It seems like they’re lashing out. And he’s...” She deserves to know. “He’s also carrying the weight of Peter not doing well.” Char looked over at her friend carefully to see how she'd take the news, not wanting to cause her more pain but feeling that she should know her ex wasn't doing any better than she was.

[Daisy Hookum]

Daisy nodded, trying not to smile as Charlotte mentioned James and Sirius. She wasn't surprised the two had complained, given their personalities. They had become like brothers to her, something she sincerely missed. It was odd not having any of their older friends around the castle. So many changes were happening at once, it was often hard to keep a level head. So the fact that the two of them had argued at the meeting? Not surprising in the least bit. She also wasn't shocked to hear that Remus was annoyed by their outbursts. He was much calmer than his friends, something that was excellent for Charlotte.

Or at least, he always had been. Daisy was concerned for her Remus just as much as she was concerned for Charlotte. For him to be upset like this, something must be going on that they didn't know. Perhaps she would send a letter to Sirius or James, see if they had any input on how to help this situation. Or better yet, a letter to Lily. She may know better than her husband or Sirius. "I can imagine. I do hope that they don't fight for too long though. They need each other right now." The boys needed each other, and Remus needed Charlotte. Even if he was too daft to see that.

And right now, Charlotte needed to see Remus. Which would prove to be a task considering that they were in school. Break was too far away, something that Daisy was trying not to think about. She had an overwhelming desire to see if she could visit Peter during their next break, something that she was trying to shut out. There was however, other ways. If only she could convince Remus. In the meantime, however, she would at least make the suggestion to Charlotte. Perhaps his girlfriend requesting his presence would do more good. "Well you should ask him to sneak into the school then. You could meet up with him in the Room of Requirement. Peter and I-" Daisy stopped, not entirely sure if was a sentence she wanted to finish. "Anyway, I promise you that he knows secret ways into the school."

Daisy fiddled with the blanket on the bed as there was brief silence between them, taking another bite of the chocolate happily. She had left Peter rather suddenly, with not much of an explanation for her actions. She was sure that he was going to write her a letter. He would want to talk, and it wasn't that she didn't want to go back to him. She just couldn't, not with what he was doing for work. Daisy was glad when Charlotte began speaking again, as it pulled her out of her thoughts. She nodded along, trying to absorb all the information quickly. "I wish I could tell you Charlotte, but I don't know. Remus was always distant from me. I would honestly say that you probably know him better. But if it will help I can talk the boys and see if there is something else we are missing?"

She wasn't expecting the next words though, and she felt a lump in her throat at the mention of Peter. Daisy averted her eyes away, running a hand through her messy hair slowly. She knew that everyone was upset about the Potters, hell, she was still crying about that. It wasn't just Peter that made her cry herself to sleep. But with news of Peter not doing well, she couldn't handle the pain that shot through her heart. She knew that it hadn't been a breakup he had wanted. But was it really that bad? "What do you mean Peter isn't doing well? What exactly did he say?"

[Charlotte Fudge]

"Ask him to sneak into school?" Char looked up at her friend in surprise as the other fumbled over her words, heart aching for Daisy as she was unable to recount the memory of Peter. She hoped that there would be a day when Daisy could think of that time fondly - or that the two would put aside their different opinions and come to a resolution that meant they were together again. They were such a fine match for each other, and as much as Char cared for Peter, she knew that he wouldn't be himself without the girl. He wouldn't be able to absolutely focus at work, and with work as dangerous as what he was doing, that wasn't good. He wasn't safe, distracted, and Charlotte...just wanted them all safe.

As unlikely a goal as that was.

She cleared her throat and continued, "I don't know if I could ask him that, Daisy. Work and all, they're all so caught up. We'll see each other on another Hogsmeade weekend or the like. Need some time to think, besides." She needed a plan with this next meeting, she couldn't let herself - as much as she now wanted to - write Remus and ask him to come. She needed to start figuring out what was going on, and Char felt if she saw him soon, she'd just...get caught up. Want everything to be fine - as she really did - but not let themselves talk it out. Fight it out, if need be.

Whatever the elusive "it" was...

Charlotte gave her friend a sympathetic smile at the other Gryffindor's words, at her wanting to help. But there was no reason for Daisy to get in touch with the boys when she and Peter weren't...wouldn't that just bring up all the bad feelings? She knew that Daisy had become close with James and Sirius over the years as well, but they may tell Peter she was getting in touch and that would make him feel worse since she wasn't seeking him out and -

Trying to manage the feelings of others really wasn't her forte.

"It's all right, really - I'm sure I'll work it out, no need to get in touch with them. Just need to...think." Charlotte supposed she could try writing Cole to see what he had to say, but the mere thought of asking her brother for help in figuring out what had made her boyfriend angry made her a mite queasy.

"Oh, Dais', I'm sorry," Charlotte said quietly, awkwardly, to the back of her friend's head after the other girl had turned away. Now look what you've done. She sat up and pulled her legs to her chest, not wanting to intrude on Daisy's...thoughts? Lingering grief? Shouldn't have said anything. "I'm sorry, rubbish idea to tell you, I just thought...may make it feel...different, to know. He still feels he's doing the right thing, being in the Order, but his heart is broken as yours." Charlotte pulled at a loose thread on her dress as she rested her chin on her knees, warily watching for her reaction and feeling like an awful friend for making hers feel worse when the other was only trying to make her feel better. She'd never had much in the way of social skills, but had somehow managed not to alienate herself completely in the dorm, thanks to befriending Daisy early on. Grand way to repay her for years of friendship, making her feel terrible.

[Daisy Hookum]

Daisy wasn't entirely sure why Charlotte was so surprised at her suggestion. Sure, Remus was the level-headed one of the group, but he was just as much of a prankster as the rest of him. Daisy often thought that he was secretly even more of a prankster than the rest, able to slip under the radar because of his reputation as being the 'good' one of the group. She had no doubts that James and Sirius had willingly served at least one detention for a prank that had been done entirely be Remus Lupin.

And she knew quite well that Remus went on plenty of adventures outside of the school with his group of friends. It had only been a few times that Daisy had gotten to sneak out of the castle with Peter, and there had been permission from the other three. Not that she could find the blasted tunnels if she even searched for them.

Still, Charlotte was unsure, and Daisy simply gave a nod and a smile. If her friend wasn't going to ask, then Daisy had another idea. Charlotte needed a good time, and the two were sure to make up within the week. Writing to Remus and suggesting he come attend the Halloween masquerade would be a good plan. If he didn't go for it, she'd drag in the others, but she had a feeling Remus would listen.

Giving a sigh, she frowned at her friend, "If you say so. But I'm sure James and Sirius could talk some sense into him, or at least provide some insight on to what has been troubling him." She wished she believed her words more, but given the situation she was almost sure that they didn't have a clue as to what had upset Remus.

Charlotte was being quiet, and Daisy heard her shifting around on the bed. Pull it together. Daisy didn't want Charlotte to think that she was upset with her. Wiping her eyes, she turned back to her friend, shaking her head vigorously. "No, no. It's fine. It's just...I saw Peter today. I went to Hogsmeade after you left and he was at the Three Broomsticks and well..." Daisy looked down at her hands, fidgeting as she sat there.

"We didn't do much talking, and perhaps we should have. And I've probably made everything worse, sending him mixed signals and all and running off without a proper explanation. But I still love him Charlotte, so much. I just don't know what to do," she added, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall. "I'll be fine though, really. Don't worry about me, right now is about you and Remus."

[Charlotte Fudge]

Char gave a shrug, still uneasy. Given time she was certain that she could find some sort of explanation herself, and while she and the blokes had formed better relationships over the summer, she hardly thought they would keep her letters a secret. Which they'd have to be, as to not worry Remus more. He already thought she was leaving him - surely seeing questions written in her own hand about how he was doing would only strengthen that belief. "You're right, they probably know. But I just don't think I'm there with them yet that they'd keep it between us, you know? They're his best friends, not mine."

But then she made her friend cry, and feeling terrible, Charlotte quietly waited for the girl to speak, and tried to hide her surprise as she did. Because she'd seen Peter? As Daisy went on, her meaning dawned on the other girl - Daisy, not much talking? Really? Oh shush, you would've reported the same if the day hadn't gotten so strange. She grew more concerned, though, as her suspicions were proven correct. The breakup hadn't been because of falling-out-of-love, after all, and it hadn't been long enough for that to happen anyway. If it could. Could a couple like Daisy and Peter simply stop having feelings for the other given enough time? Char hoped she wouldn't find out, because what was best for the both - hopefully - was to find some sort of agreement where they could be back together. Her heart warmed towards her friend, though, as she tried to put away her feelings for her sake.

"Just because I'm feeling things, it doesn't mean that you can't," she said frankly, relieved the girl was being so forthright - at least somebody was being fully honest with her today. Oh that is a horrible thing to think - he's got his reasons, you just need to calm down, be patient. She unfolded her legs and broke the rest of the chocolate into two bits, one soon held between her teeth as she scooted over to her friend. Arm around her, chocolate deposited into her lap, and beginning to munch hers, Charlotte sighed. "It's all right you don't know what to do, there's no easy way about any of this. Do you still feel the same about him and the Order?"

[Daisy Hookum]

Daisy did have to admit that Charlotte had a point. Daisy had known the guys for a few years now, going to them with any of her concerns was simply natural now. But Charlotte had barely known them all for a year now. While she was sure that Charlotte's concerns would be kept quiet, it was her friends decision. "I suppose you are right, you don't know them very well yet. But I'm sure they would be there for you, if you ever needed it."

But then she was crying and it was ridiculous. She had chosen this, she should be able to handle it. She had cried so much after the break up, shouldn't she be done with tears by now? Hard not to feel sad when you still care so much. She should have simply stayed in the dorm and avoided Hogsmeade this weekend. And Charlotte was being so understanding, Daisy was quite lucky to have her as a friend.

"I know, but this was my choice. I need to keep it together..." Charlotte fighting with Remus was what mattered right now, not her feelings about the Order. "I love him and I just want him to be safe. And you saw what happened over the summer. I'm so proud of him for his decision, I just don't know if I can handle the thought that he might not come back from a mission."

[Charlotte Fudge]

The girl gave a nod at the other's affirmation that James, Sirius, and Peter would help if she was in need, and it was something she would hopefully feel more comfortable in believing soon. Progress had surely been made with them over this last summer, the quiet Gryffindor starting to open up with them more and feel more comfortable, but she was not yet fully at home with them. So she'd figure this one out herself, she would...

A silence fell between the Gryffindors after Daisy's last, the other girl trying to determine the best approach possible as she finished the last of her chocolate. Because what Daisy said was completely valid - the line of work the men were in was a stress-inducing one for anyone connected to them in any capacity, let alone the ones who were in love with them. And if Daisy didn't feel she could deal with the uncertainty? If being with him wasn't worth the anxiety? That was her choice, and no one could fault her for that. But if it was only the Order that was keeping them apart...

"I know it's not my place and all," Charlotte began, treading cautiously but honestly, "but...if it's only the Order that's stopping the two of you, if everything else is there - your love and trust and support and everything, everything you two've had for years...I know you wanted a life with him, Dais', and this is the life he's chosen. But I'd swear on anything that he still wants you in it, and I know you want him in yours. And I know, I know how nerve-wracking it is, letting yourself imagine what if's." She paused a moment to re-collect herself, trying to stay steady for her friend. Because she'd had these thoughts since finding out what the Order was and learning that Remus was considering joining. She had taken the information in quietly, trying to be rational about helping him make his decision. And in the end, he had gone with the Order. And her. It was what he most wanted to do - help this war come to an end. She hadn't been about to make him choose between her and an ambition like that, but it was a scary thing, getting lost in thought about what his reality day-to-day would be as soon as promotions came about...

"But no matter how frightening it is for us to think about - they're just as frightened, even if they won't ever admit it. And I - I love him, you know? So I'm going to do everything I can to support him through this phase, and when the war's done - when the war's done, if we're still together, I'll support him with whatever comes next." The girl let out a heavy sigh, the words pouring out of her with surprisingly little thought. Even with this fight, this misunderstanding, this lapse of communication - that was telling enough to her that they would somehow put it behind them. Because she was thinking beyond the immediate, beyond this current dilemma, beyond even this school year...

"What I mean to say is," Char continued, finding her friend's eyes, "if it's who you want - who you need to be with, you find a way. You find a way through it all. I think you could do it, I really do."

[Daisy Hookum]

Daisy and Charlotte had discussed this before, but it had never really been an in depth conversation. Peter had waited so long to tell her of his plans, she'd really not had a choice. Remus had taken the time to discuss it with Charlotte before he had agreed. And sure, Daisy would have done everything she could to persuade Peter against the whole thing. But would she have succeeded? She didn't really know. She wasn't jealous that Remus had taken a different approach when it came to joining the Order, she was happy for her friend.

But it was a conversation they needed to have, no matter how rough it was. Listening to what Charlotte was saying, she nodded a long, brushing at stray tears that escaped. Daisy had wanted a life with Peter, she still did. It was hard to think that she couldn't just reach out to him whenever she was feeling down, that she wouldn't get to spend Christmas break snuggled in his bed at his place. But those what-if's...she couldn't handle it if Peter died. It was better this way, wasn't it? Dealing with the grief now instead of the day something terrible happened. She didn't want to be a widow at such a young age.

Meeting Charlotte's eyes, she gave a heavy nod, brushing at her face one last time. "I love him, and I want a life. I want to get married and have kids and...what if he's gone. What if something happens and we have a kid and then I have to raise the child on my own? Can I handle that? My mom did such a good job but she's so much stronger than I am." Dropping her gaze back down to her skirt, she smoothed it out slowly. "I know you think I can, but I don't even know how...how do I get him back?"

[Charlotte Fudge]

Talking about Remus and what she would do for him just made her want to see him now all the more. Just to see him - they didn't even have to talk, but Char felt if they could forget - for now - whatever had separated them this morning...they could get back on track. She'd never left him feeling so off about them before, so confused. He'd been trying to contain so much, not wanting her to see him crack, although the fissures in him were like spiderwebs, the thin lines all over. Remus finally had opened up, and she'd wanted to hear his honesty, had asked for it...maybe it wasn't the time or place. In the moment she'd felt how out of her element she'd been - being stubborn, feeling it was best to force him to speak, but not knowing what to do when he wouldn't accept her encouragement. Perhaps if she had been able to put down her own needs and focus on his...no, he was so preoccupied, we wouldn't have had a "good day" either way. It broke her heart, knowing how much he'd wanted to give her just that. Remus always tried, so hard, to keep her happy...

You could write to him, arrange to get together in the morning? Once he's had time to think as well? Maybe he'd still be in town, could take your own advice, do whatever it takes...

Daisy was wiping at her tears, agreeing with her prior points. She'd always been the mother bear of any friend group she had, and Charlotte knew that one day she was going to be a wonderful mother after all of her practice. But in order to have a child in the first place, of course, one needed a partner. And if that partner were to - as Daisy couldn't say - die? Her concerns were more than valid, given the line of work Peter was in, and Charlotte reached out to take her friend's hand as she finished.

"No matter what happens," she said firmly, "there's no way you'd ever be raising a child all by yourself. I'll always be here for you, you know that." Although she didn't see herself having children of her own, she was sure she could develop some sorts of skills that would be useful to her friend, if ever the situation arose, even if she didn't particularly feel they were inherent in her. "And I know it's scary, love," Char continued quietly, "but you're not going to get anywhere if you're not honest with him about what you want. If he wants to get back together, then, you'll know. And if he doesn't, however unlikely...if he doesn't, at least you won't be wondering any more. That would be better than this, wouldn't it?" She gave her best friend a small smile, hoping from the cockles of her heart that she and Peter could find a way to come together again.