Final Departure. All Aboard?

[Deleted]

As she watched Hogwarts disappear into the morning fog, a heavy blanket of dread settled over Lily’s whole body. It was a feeling of conclusion that prickled in her nose and eyes. She allowed herself a few quiet tears, keeping her eyes on the view of fields until she could still her turbulent emotions. She pressed in a bit closer to James, whom she was leaning over. Her damp cheek rested against his head, and the hand that she was using to support herself on his leg curled into a fist. Lily gulped down the lump in her throat and brushed a kiss against his hair as she receded back to her own seat between him and Willa. Continuing to lean into her boyfriend, she also slightly shaking hand into one of her best friend’s and gave the group a bit of a forced smile.

No doubt they would see the remnants of her emotional reaction to leaving, but she didn’t mind. A small internal laugh extended the originally compulsory smile into her eyes. After all the years she had spent hiding her tears from the Marauders she would never have expected that it would be them she was letting into the emotions of their final departure from Hogwarts. It was hard not to marvel at the strides they all had made in the last year or so. Sirius’ cocky brashness had quieted into a more tolerable self-confidence. Remus, while still working on overcoming his ultimate fear and guilt, seemed stronger and more outgoing. Peter seemed no longer astounded with the friendships he had made, instead he was more self-confident and eager to show the world what he could do.

That Potter boy had improved greatly as well. Something about this year had agreed greatly with his overall countenance. His devil-may-care attitude had transformed into an admirable knack for spontaneity that made him a proficient and creative wizard. His boyish allegiance to a ragtag group of pranksters turned out to be the precursor for his profound devotion to causes that he believed in. His arrogance, after being knocked down a few pegs by a devilishly clever redhead, caused an optimism and assurance that was positively contagious. Lily Evans loved him every bit for all of that and more, no matter how much she sometimes hated to admit it.

Not in the same way of course, but Lily loved all of the people squished into the compartment with her. Seven years’ worth of stuffed dangled precariously above them in the luggage racks as she soaked in the faces and presences of the people around her. Sure, they had plans. World Cups and future pub crawls aside, though, these last moments as Hogwarts students were precious. “Remember when these cabins felt huge?” she reminisced as a few new second years scrambled down the hallway. She watched them go with bittersweet smile, envying their naiveté and secure knowledge that they’d be back on this train in just a few months.

[Deleted]

So this was it.

Seven years of laughs, danger, pranks, and shagging all coming to an end. Sirius watched, casually curious, as Evans leaned over James to grab a better view of the castle before it disappeared. He knew she was an emotional witch - had been given several years to pick up on that - but for some reason, her shedding a few tears and looking so distraught about leaving still surprised him a bit. And what was she doing kissing Prongs on the head like that? Like some sort of forlorn mother.

It all felt weird. James had been his for the past seven years, the two of them thick as thieves. He had known the way his best mate felt about the redhead positively plopping back into her right then, from as early as their first year of school. Think I knew before Prongs knew, himself...So big into pranks back then - not that anything had really changed in that area except that their pranks now were much better - Sirius had taken it upon himself to dip the lower half of the girl's ponytail into his ink bottle without her noticing, and his friend had been livid. "I like her hair - why'd you do that for?" It was the lamest attempt to look cool and uncaring and Sirius had seen right through it. 'Course, then James felt the need to go up to her and apologize on his friend's behalf but the redhead already had something against them - blamed the whole thing on his be-speckled buddy and stormed off. The rest, as they say, is history.

And now they were sitting in a train car, and Evans had her hands all over him, and Sirius had barely seen his best mate in the past few months, all because he had to go snog the daylights out of Lily f*cking Evans under the guise of "Head's business". The oldest Black brother had wanted them to get together, wanted James to get his girl - so why did he feel so pissed about it all. Maybe it was that everyone seemed to be shacking up with someone while he was still dating whoever stroked his fancy that week. If it hadn't been for Robbins ending things with her sodding Wicker friend this week than he would be preparing himself for a long and boring summer. And Sirius Black hated when his life got boring.

Speaking of Willa - a brush of her foot against his brought him out of his unsettling thoughts. He glanced down at where she had touched him and with a swift glance up at her, a dangerous smirk playing on his face, he moved his opposite foot to hers, practically boxing her small, dainty foot in between his hulking, manly ones. So distracted as he was in his little game of footsie with the graduated Hufflepuff, Sirius nearly missed what Evans had said. But he didn't miss anything, and a small smile graced his features as he looked over to James. "Remember when we could actually lie ourselves across these seats?" The two boys had gone through growth spurts at nearly the exact same time, both of them dwarfing Dory from a very young age.

[Willa Robbins]

outfit

They had done it.

They had actually done it.

She was no longer Willa Robbins: Hufflepuff prefect, Gobstones club president, Herbology helper - she was just...Willa. So although it felt terribly strange to be leaving Hogwarts behind them, the familiar and beloved castle and grounds growing farther and farther away with each passing second, each tick of the train's wheels on the rails, the young woman felt a satisfying sense of accomplishment settle in her bones. Sure, this sense was clouded slightly by the slowly ebbing stress of the last week - breaking things off with Benji had left a lingering feeling of unease that was just starting to leave, as she knew it was for the best, and exams were never her best time - but it was there, nonetheless.

She found her thoughts straying back to that first train ride, to the girl she had been then. If she could speak with the little girl who had arrived at the school years before - nose to the chilled window so she'd be sure to see her new home as soon as possible, her frizzy hair escaping the careful braid her mother had done for her, Johnny beside her, happily chatting about what was to come, hoping they'd be in the same House - there would be so much she'd want to tell her.

Tenderly tucking those stray hairs into the braid, she'd say, "You will make greater friends than you knew you could - they'll surprise you, but don't ever question your acceptance with them. They care just as much as you do. And you will have that first kiss, and yeah, it'll be as awkward as the girls warn you first kisses are. You'll make tough choices, and wonder if you've made the right decision, but you'll learn to trust yourself. You'll face challenges you didn't know you could come out of, but you'll be better for them, stronger. And you'll never be alone in this - not really."

But truly, if she did have the chance - she'd resist; she'd give the girl a smile, kiss her forehead, and tell her she'd be just fine in the end. Because all of those things were meant to be figured out for yourself, in the right time. Well, maybe give her a hint about dropping Transfiguration sooner, or taking a different route downstairs that terrible afternoon - but, then again, she was now more proficient in the wandwork than she'd been before this year, and if she hadn't been accosted by Aaron, who knew what would've happened with her and Sirius? If they would've ever become more than just classmates?

She smiled at that thought, taking a look across to see her dear friend.

No, we would've gotten to be like this some other way.

However, said friend seemed to be quite preoccupied - Willa supposed they all had reason to be stuck in their thoughts at this moment, but she followed his look and - Ah. A small smile quirked up the corners of her mouth as she took in both her friends in love and the reaction of James' best mate to the closeness of the two. Sirius was protective of many, but few, if any, more than James Potter.

It hadn't been easy for the boy to see James' time with him take a plummet, this past year, as the other Gryffindor spent more and more time with Lily. And Willa knew that, in his heart, Sirius was happy for James - but that didn't make losing your losing time with your best friend any easier. So she stretched out one of her legs, prodding one of his feet with her worn converse-clad foot, just wanting to pull him out of his thoughts a touch.

She met his quick look and smile with one of her own, grinning more as he brightened and started to play along. She set her other foot on top of his rather comfortably, and as Lily reached for her hand, turning back to the group, Willa gladly intertwined their fingers and gave the other girl's hand a squeeze. She turned to her side to see how her best friend was faring, and gave her a sympathetic smile, seeing the tears shining in those eyes. She chuckled lightly at her comment, nudging her side, and looked over at Sirius at his.

Remember when, remember when - when did you lot get so sentimental? she thought affectionately. "I'd like to see you try that now," she teased, grinning at him.

[Admin]

There was only one question on her mind, How did it all happen so quickly?

Where had the past seven years gone? It seemed like yesterday that she was taking her first steps on to this very train, overwhelmed, yet excited about the adventure she was about to embark on. Yet here they were leaving, the group of them thrown together by fate or the stars or numbers. They had met and become friends, shared so many memories with each other that it was near impossible to recall all of them at any given moment.

She was sat next to the window on the same large seat as Sirius and Peter, while across from her was James, then Lily, then Willa, and then Remus. No one really had to say anything to alert the others to their desolation about leaving, the mood of the cabin was cold enough that she could pick it up without asking anyone how this life changing event was making them feel. Doe gave a bittersweet smile at Lily's words and then turned her head to Sirius and smirked. Now, that was something that would make her laugh. When Willa spoke, Dorcas waited expectantly for Sirius to throw his legs over her and Peter just to prove a point to them all. That boy couldn't refuse a challenge if he wanted to.

Due to her shorter height, Doe had been able to tuck her legs into one seat and just lay on Sirius' lap on other train journeys. It was something she had thought extremely comfortable until she fell in love with Arnie. Now, leaning against any other bloke just wasn't as fulfilling for her...and she loved spending time with her friends like this, but her boyfriend was returning to Hogwarts in autumn and she had the entire year to be with her friends. Doe couldn't help but feel like time was running out for her and her Strudel and she hated it.

[James Potter]

Hand protectively on the small of her back as she leaned over him, James more watched Lily than the window as they pulled away from Hogwarts. She'd been rather teary today, sweet, strong, sentimental lass. Her head was filled, as his was, he was sure, with the tumultuous feelings of being done with their Hogwarts education. It was grand, on the one hand - they had their whole lives ahead of them, so much to accomplish now that they were free. But on the other, Hogwarts had been more than a home to them all these past seven years. It had been where friendships had been forged, love had been found, mistakes made, victories had...

It'd been where he'd grown up, in every sense, and there was no way he wasn't going to miss it - miss those late nights with the boys perfecting the Map, sneaking out to Hogsmeade, galavanting about in the Forest as their Animagi selves. Miss those lazy days at the lake while it was warm enough to swim, playing around with Doe and the boys. Miss flying high above the ground, barking orders at his team, feeling that satisfaction of a play finally mastered at his instruction. Miss those innumerable little moments of change with Lily...

Even though all of that was behind them, it was a part of them; it wasn't going away, not really.

And they had so much more to do.

He'd get her feelings out when it was just them, not wanting to put her on the spot in front of the group as she had already let a few tears go. James smiled as the girl he loved moved into him - he was absolutely fine with showing affection, and had been so glad when she'd opened up to it - and he slid his hand up to her waist, tugging her until she was right up against him. After a time she heavily laid her head against his, and he looked out the window with her, the mountains blurring as they sped away. He felt something shift within her, a tenseness, coming to the surface, as the hand she so casually had on his thigh balled up into a fist. Still looking outside, James took his free hand and started to gently massage hers out of that fist, working his fingers between hers, giving her a squeeze.

"Hold onto me, babe," he said under his breath, not quite caring if that was the cheesiest thing he'd said so far that day.

It wasn't like she was going to go through this alone, after all. He loved her fierce independence, but...he was here for her. Now and always.

She lightly kissed his head and his smile broadened a bit smugly - he still got such a kick out of little affections from this one - and although she sat back against her seat, she stayed close, and he kept her hand in his. Looking to her, he was glad to see her reaching out to the ex-Hufflepuff as well. This girl who had done so much by herself was...ready to let others in. Let him in. However, that brave face wasn't fooling anyone, least of all James Potter, and after she spoke he slid his arm up around her shoulders, giving her a squeeze into him and a playful nuzzle. Cheer up, love.

Hearing Sirius, James looked over and gave him a lopsided grin. Before he could recount anything about that, Robbins jumped in with a challenge, and he laughed. "What d'you say to that, Paddy?" he joked, challenge in his eyes as he considered his best friend. He belatedly noticed that the two were engaged in some sort of footsie war - nothing unusual, seemed like they couldn't be within the same room without touching - and his grin only grew as he stretched his own leg over to their entwined feet, giving them a little bump. He wasn't sure where Willa's head was, but he knew about Sirius' - he fancied the little ex-Hufflepuff. Had for ages. Masked it in being defensive of her - claiming that his feelings were normal, protective, brotherly ones like he had for Doe, but James knew better. Now that they were done with school, and things were so great with him and Lily, he could focus on working a little wingman magic...

[Remus Lupin]

When Remus had gotten on the train years ago, he never expected this moment. At least, not like this. Surrounded by friends, people that loved him and cared about him. 7 years had gone by so quickly that he was having a hard time grasping that it was all over. He looked over at his friends, his best friends, and smiled a sad smile that he hoped they didn't so. So much had happened this year and he wasn't sure that any of them were grasping that it really was the end. Lily was on the verge of tears, and Remus honestly felt the same. But he was not about to cry in this tiny room with these people, no. He could keep it together until he got home. 

Remus watched as Lily and James exchanged affection, and his sad smile turned into a smirk. He was happy for James, he'd finally calmed down and gotten the girl. He was happy for Lily, as well. As much of a pain as James was, he cared about Lily deeply and Remus was glad that they had finally become an item. Sirius however, was a different story. Remus glanced towards him, knowing that while he wouldn't admit it, James and Lily dating had been rough on him. Remus was close to both the boys, but Sirius and James were brothers and things had changed this year. In more ways that just Lily and James dating. 

"Remember when these cabins felt so huge?" Remus turned back to Lily and nodded. His first year he had been small and scared, and not entirely too sure about the boys that had decided to share his cabin. But they'd had so much space. Now, they were rather squished in the cabin. Not that he minded. After all, who really knew what was going to happen after this. There was the possibility that this was the last time some of them would see each other. Remus turned his head sharply to look away. No, his friends would not leave him. That he was sure of. 

Pulling himself back to the conversation, he watched Willa and Sirius play footsie as she challenged him to lie across the seats. Remus felt bad for Dorcas and Peter, because Sirius generally wasn't one to back down from a challenge. Especially one from Willa. There was something between Sirius and Willa that he didn't quite understand, but then again, stuff like that wasn't something he had really gotten much experience doing. Removing his gaze from their feet, he pulled on the knees of his pants. They were starting to fray and would need to be patched up. Perhaps he would get his mum to do it next time he was home.

"Seven years," he started to say, and then stopped. He had nothing to say. Things were ending and quite frankly it was hard. Everyone was going home to family and then off to jobs that school had prepared him for. Remus was excited, in a way, to be out on his own. But he knew nothing good was waiting for him out in the world. Hogwarts had been a safe haven, and now it was over.  

[Deleted]

She didn’t want to make the others feel awkward and knew that she could have just taken the window seat. But she had wanted to sit in the middle of everyone. Be near everyone. Nor did she want to be crying. She always felt like people seeing her cry was her screaming for them to pay attention to and take care of her. It just wasn’t her style. Until recently, apparently. There were a lot of emotions she would never have guessed herself capable of showing certain people, and she was hitting on more than a few of those in the beginning of this last train ride home. Although where home was going to wind up being within the next few months Lily wasn’t exactly sure.

As James drew her closer, Lily’s mind flitted back to her first train ride home from Hogwarts.

She had been leaning over Severus then. “Lily…” he had drawled in the way only he could say her name in such an irritated but still affectionate manner “We’ll be back when the summer's over… you don’t have to fuss.” She had fought back tears then too. “Oh but Severus,” she had combated, “It just doesn’t feel right leaving.” He had tugged her back into her own seat, but she continued to lean into him so she could see out the window. “Maybe I’ll become a professor and stay there forever,” she conjectured “Charms was my best subject… or maybe Transfiguration…. I shaped up pretty well in Potions by the end of it didn’t I?” He had smiled and chuckled then flicked her on the head. “Well if that’s what you really want…. Leave it to Lily Evans to want to live at school for the rest of her life.” He had slipped his hand into hers, something that she was used to but that was the first time she had really taken notice of the intimacy.

Another hand interwove its fingers with hers and Lily was gently pulled out of the memory by James’ voice. She looked at him and quirked an eyebrow. Sometimes James was nothing if not cheesy but that just topped the list, especially in these circumstances. Feeling dark, brooding eyes on the side of her head, Lily flashed Sirius an apologetic smile. After this year she could better appreciate thinking of him like a dog that was guarding his territory. Guilt shot through her smile and she hoped that it spoke for the last few months of her taking up a rather sizable chunk of Prongs’ free-time. She thought back, momentarily, to a few times when she had felt the need to defend herself. After all, Potter’s promotion to Head Boy was hardly her doing. No matter how much being close to and affectionate with James was making Lily feel like life after Hogwarts would be full of love, adventure, and hopefully some amount of peace, Sirius glare stare was reminding Lily that the two of them had some work to do on their relationship.

After squeezing James’ hand back, Lily only slightly subconsciously defended some territory of her own. Yes, Sirius and Lily were going to be friends. Yes, she had his back no matter what, Yes, Lily recognized that Sirius’ and James’ relationship sometimes had to come first. But that didn’t stop her from needing to assert that: a) her feelings were genuine and b) she was here to stay.

Having been a prefect and therefore privy to most of the snoggers in Hogwarts, Lily was not a huge fan of gushy displays of public affection. In principle she knew just how much it made others uncomfortable. But being so intimate with James seemed to help to fill the gap where knowing she’d be on the train back to Hogwarts after the summer used to stand. She glanced over to see how Remus’ was faring. Not good, she surmised. Possibly even worse than her. That could be his semi-perpetual fatigue talking, but Lily thought not. But a sad smile was better than no smile at all. She wished she could do for him what James’ hands rubbing her shoulders was doing for her. It would take a lot more than casual intimacy to take away the pain that young man had. As she was pulled even closer to James, however, her sympathy for her pensive best guy friend waned. That was clearly a smirk, she wanted to hit him…. but that wouldn’t help matters with Sirius. She turned and met his stone cold glare. What am I supposed to do… she questioned him in her head… put a petrifying jinx on him? I’m not the one putting on the soap opera here.

“Am I really the only one crying?” she asked and let out half a sob and half a laugh. Trying to remind Sirius that everyone in the compartment was clearly having strong emotions as well. Although none of them were being intimate… nope he started playing footsie with Willa. Maybe that would settle him down. Lily had seen him do things like James with a considerable number of other girls. She had caught him on numerous occasions walking back past curfew to the Gryffindore tower after having 'spent time' in the Room of Requirement with all of these other girls as well. Not to mention she was never quite sure if he had a routine for which broom closet to snog/shag in, if he chose by whichever struck his fancy, or perhaps (and the most likely option) it was just whichever was closest. Lily briefly pondered if he had a favorite, or would be able to rank them. Perhaps some where better to shag in? Others just for a casual snog?

She made a mental note to ask him one day, when things were faring better between the them. Willa, however, was a different case entirely. These were all so natural and unassuming gestures. She admired that from his relationship with her best friend. Who, like the secretly feisty woman she was went head to head with him. Surely this was going to escalate….

It was her turn to smirk. She was in on everything Willa had ever thought about him. Or everything Willa had told Lily anyway. Which, if Lily surmised correctly, was a hell lot more than she had actually expressed in words to him. But, she supposed, after having been plagued by James’ persistence in the face of his unrequited and open feelings, that there was something extremely beautiful in that. She squeezed Willa in response to the small nudge and gave her a small quirk of the eyebrows.

As her best friend and her boyfriend’s best friend flirted without actually really flirting in the straightforward sense of the word, she placed her head in the crook of James’ shoulder. She almost regretted the years she had wasted not knowing just how comfortable it was. When James’ added his own legs to the fray Lily took Dorcas as an example and folded her legs into her chest. She pulled her hand gently out of Willa’s and wrapped her arm around her legs to secure them. Dorcas’ was another one that looked rather forlorn. Doubts seemed to plague her usually unshakable ex-roommate. She wanted to say something, but didn’t know what exactly. Thankfully, James threw in his chips into the mix and things were getting interesting.

She heard Remus faintly try to start up some kind of thought but stop himself. His future was something that Lily was endlessly frustrated with. She could offer him the world and he’d refuse it. Out of everyone here, and maybe even more than the young man whose arm was around her, Remus was the one she wanted to be able to give everything to. “Crazy isn’t it?” she said meeting his eyes with a flash of her empathetic smile. “What’dya say we have a get together next September 1st. Brunch? Say around 10:30, 11?" Half joke and half seriousness may be Lily’s favorite way of deflecting some real feelings.

[Deleted]

James and Evans were really a match made in heaven according to some mental people. If that were truly the case, Sirius didn't think it would ahve taken them so many years to get together. He's been with James through all of it - his attempts at becoming friends with her in their first year, the very first time he had asked Evans out in third year, all the times he had been rejected, fights with her in the common room late at night - he had even been there to encourage him when he wanted to ask girls other than Evans out. And with every other girl - Jamie the little Huffle, Nancy and Maggie and Doe, the awesome Lions - Sirius had never been shafted to the outskirts of the relationship - the girl had always tried to keep him close.

Evans had not. Or if she was trying she was doing a terrible job of it all.

Blocking the pathetic displays of affection happening by the window out of his mind for a moment, a teasing smile rose to his lips. Challenge accepted, Robbins. He removed his from the pile of feet that were collecting on top of his - James was such a wanker - and glanced at Pete and Doe. "So sorry you two-" He said in a voice that did not sound sorry at all before swinging his legs over there's and attempted to lie down flat on the seat. Even while at a slight angle, there was no way Sirius could fit properly but he waggled his eyebrows at Willa none the less. Remus interrupted the ridiculous way he was acting and the graduated Gryffindor decided to sort himself out - pulling his legs off his two mates facing upright in his seat.

He knew that Remus would be facing a lot of difficulty now that he was leaving school - and Sirius wanted nothing mroe than to be able to help him out. Maybe they could find a flat together and he would be able to pay for most of it? His Uncle Alphard had left him enough galleons to live comfortably for more than a couple years and that was if he didn't plan on working. They would receive a small amount of coin from the Order so Sirius really had no problem spreading the wealth with one of his closest mates. He also knew Remus would never readily accept his help financially but that was just another obstacle to get past so his friend could feel secure. All worth it in the end, mate...

Sirius watched as Evans smiled at his mate and when she spoke - a bark of laughter came out of him. That was - well that was a bloody fantastic idea. He really liked the symmetry it offered. He ran a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck as he noticed the others staring at him. "That's a grand idea, Evans." He couldn't meet her eyes so instead he sought out Willa's. I didn't mean to sound so sarcastic - I swear it! It was so typical that first time Evans said something he could accept he went and blundered it all up.

[Willa Robbins]

At Lily's words and rather emotional response, Willa gave her an empathetic smile, leaning into her. Surely if the ex-Head Girl was cushioned between James and herself, they could do something to help brighten her mood. Willa was sure that, given a few weeks, she'd be feeling what her dear friend currently was - at this moment, though, their leaving Hogwarts was so surreal that she couldn't yet be saddened at the loss of that chapter of her life. There was a new one just beginning, after all, and she was excited to see what was next to come for all of them. She exchanged a brief confused look with Lily at her squeeze, wondering what could've prompted the affection, but was quickly distracted by James' challenge of her challenge, and addition of his feet to theirs. She eyed Sirius - glad to see that smirk, a clear sign that he was distanced enough from the cuddling happening to her left - and grinned as he ever-so-gently laid his long form over Doe and Peter. He met her eyes with that ridiculous look and she couldn't stop the laugh that tumbled out of her at it. Only Remus' quiet and rather somber phrasing could prompt her laughter to fade, and she laid a comforting hand on his knee, giving him a soft smile.

Willa gave Lily a grin at her suggestion, definitely planning to take her up on it, but her eyes shifted to Sirius' at his laugh and - oh, honey. His pleading eyes met hers and she quickly chuckled before putting on a smile to cover for him. The boy was no big fan of Lily's, this she knew quite well, and her heart was warmed at his look to her, his clear, to her at least, wanting to take back that tone. Ready to let bygones be bygones, Sirius?

"Agreed - it's a date!" she said brightly to the group as a whole; she hoped she was fooling her friends with that smile as a rather depressing thought struck her, and she, a bit deflated, sunk into the cushions with her next exhale.

Now there's one date you'll have this summer.

    Stop that, it was for the best and you know it.

Doesn't mean you can't still be thinking about it.

It'd been almost two weeks since she'd broken up with Benji, and in the in-between she'd had studying and exams and fun with friends to keep her mind busy; the first week had been easier, as exams were always such a stressful time for the girl, so she was still reciting methods and charms as she went to sleep. But the following week had been...difficult. To say the least. Guilt at what she'd done had settled, unmoving, in her stomach, as there really had been nothing the Ravenclaw had done wrong to bring about her ending things. All he'd done was care for her, right from the start - but there came a time when she knew, deep in her heart of hearts, that she wasn't going to catch up with his feelings for her. And that wasn't fair to him - Benj deserved someone who was be madly head-over-heels for him, and that someone just wasn't her. Willa had grown incredibly fond of him, still clung to the naive hope that they could be friendly down the line, and truly wished him nothing but the best...and the girl just hoped that he, someday soon, could see that.

Knowing that she was the cause of someone's pain, though, did not sit well. Having all the right reasons didn't necessarily make doing the right thing feel good, she'd learned the hard way.

[Deleted]

The train ran one way and Guin walked the other, a little pep in her step. This was the last ride she would have on the Express, and she enjoyed the feeling she got when doing this. She ran down this same corridor her first train ride, elated at the feeling of defying gravity while staying on your feet. She would miss this, but then again she could always find an excuse to take a train ride? Where ever she wanted, she didn’t have to go to sodding school. though it did have its perks. First off being great friends, she was on her way to them now. And then there were the really good, and good looking guys. She had just spotted such a guy. Opening the sliding door she she popped inside, closing the door behind her. “Hey guys!” 

Quickly she leaned over and gave Arnie a peck on the cheek and then sat across for them. Jeesh they looked liked sights for sore eyes. She pulled a face, as if to say ‘really dude?’ so she said. “Really dudes?” Noone had died, it was just the end of another year. With every new beginning came another beginnings end, it would always start over. She popped up again. “You guys are bringing me down.” She said opening the door and stepping out. Last minute she slide the door back open and poked her head in. Guin glanced at Benji, she knew him through Arnie but she didn’t know what his problem was, he wasn’t usually looking so cross with the world. But Arnie, “Maybe you should come find us, I’m going by Doe. Cheer up!” She drug out the last syllable of her friends name giving him an impish grin.  

She slide the door closed again and turned around to find the trolley coming to stop behind her. “Ahhhh.” She said immediately sticking her finger in her mouth and biting her nail. Now this she would miss. She didn’t know of any other trains that had a trolley cart like the Hogwarts Express. Best take advantage. Guin walked away with a whole bag full of candy and an extra spring in her step. She stuck bit of a piece of toffee in her mouth walking back a few steps as she had almost missed her friends. She opened the door lounging on one arm with a smile at the group. 

Then her face fell. “Oh come on!” Guin stomped one foot. “Why does everyone look so damn sullen today?” She just didn’t see why everyone insisted on ignoring the silver lining in their otherwise tumultuous worth. Sighing and shaking her head she stepped in and shut the door, sliding onto Sirius’ lap, her back up against the side of the compartment. She opened her bag of candies, took a sugar quill and then handed the bag to Remus. “There are some chocolate frogs in there with your name on them.” She said wagging her brows. “You guys? We should be partying! It’s the last train ride! And then we get to do whatever we want!” she looked around at her friends, hoping someone caught on to her way of thinking. “We could stay up all night if we wanted!” she said to the group but turned and gave Sirius a wink. “Oh Doe!” She had just remembered. “Arnie's going to stop in a bit.” That should perk her up. 

[Admin]

Just as she thought, Sirius could not refuse a dare...especially one that had come from Willa Robbins. Their Hufflepuff friend seemed to have a special place in Sirius' heart, and it was rare that he would refuse her anything. Dorcas had half a mind to suggest that his feelings went deeper than just friendly affection but that couldn't be true, could it? Yes, he and Guin were fairly on and off, but she knew Sirius well enough to know that if he wanted a woman then he would go after said woman and he and her best friend had been hot and heavy since April. She had been told more stories about this boy's technique than she would ever need to know.

Dorcas let out a laugh when Lily spoke. It wasn't that she never cried, but more that she didn't want to hurt anyone else with her tears. Crying was contagious a lot of the of the time, and what was the point in bringing her friends down with her. So instead of joining in on her friends tears and gave her a genuine smile, hoping that that would alleviate some of the pain the ex-Head Girl was feeling.

She watched with amusement as Sirius practically kicked James' foot of his and proceeded to nearly kick her in the face while not accomplishing his goal of laying across the seat. He wasn't even getting anything out of doing this bet like he was with most of them so what was his motivation. Just to show off for the sweet girl in the seat across from him? Maybe to make her laugh when she was going through such a heartbreaking end with Benji? The two had dated for just a few months, but the Ravenclaw boy's feelings for her friend had been strong but there were rumors of infidelity that included Sirius. Unfortunately, a rumor that included you cheating on your boyfriend with Sirius Black never ended well.

Lily's idea sparked something inside of her. The next September 1st that was coming up was going to be difficult for her as it was the day that Arnie would be on this very train, just heading in the opposite direction that they were heading in now. The company of her closest friends was probably going to be only thing that got her through that day. She bit her lip as Sirius spoke, unsure of his tone and then turned to more fully face the group. "I'm in! Remus and I would be late though" She looked to her adorable friend, "Charlotte and Arnie go back to Hogwarts that day." It went unsaid that they would, of course, be there to see them off. Considering she and Arnie could survive their first summer together.

The mood of the compartment changed as soon as her best friend walked in. Guin was many things, but subtle was not a word Dorcas would use to describe her. She moved to Sirius' lap with confidence and a smile grew on Doe's face. Leave it to the other Gryffindor girl to want everyone up and partying...it was a big part of why she loved this girl so much. Her eyebrows lifted as Arnie was mentioned and she wondered why the other girl had decided to sit with her boyfriend instead of automatically coming to see everyone in her year. Of course, Dora loved that her friend was so accepting of her relationship and it was amazing to hear that Arnie wasn't going to let the tense emotions between him and a couple ridiculous Gryffindor boys stop him from visiting her. "Thanks babes...did he mention when?"

[James Potter]

At his beautiful girlfriend's look of Really, James - he merely grinned, shrugging his broad shoulders. Got her out of her head, hadn't he? James had lately found that he didn't quite care how ridiculous he had to be to make it happen sometimes. He could overthink as well, but he didn't want her to be sad today - it was a last, yes, but they had so much to look forward to! So as she expressed her worry about being the only one getting emotional, James chuckled as Dorcas laughed and gave her another squeeze before settling his hand at her waist. His girl was so close to Willa, however, that he couldn't resist giving the new ex-Hufflepuff a playful poke at her ticklish side before truly settling his hand on Lily's side. "You're fine, love - give me a week without this place and I'll be blubbering," he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Sirius seemed to be on that line of thought as well, as his six-foot-something best mate attempted to fit himself lengthwise on the seats on top of Peter and Doe. James watched, amused, as he gave Robbins that absurd face, causing peals of laughter to come from the girl - honestly, minimizing the time that Sirius would be able to fool himself into just wanting to be friends with her was something he'd be getting on right away. He'd watched them grow together over the past few years, starting after Sirius had played the hero - although that's never how he told it - to successful endear him to the girl in their fifth year. From there he'd started spending time with a seemingly random Hufflepuff, which James honestly hadn't understood until this last year - the girl had become a friend once they'd both been on the "right side of the law," and he found out that she'd been talking him up to Lily. Even when she hadn't even known him. So he gave the girl more of a chance, and had been glad to see the previously quiet-around-him lass start to open up. And when he was lax in his responsibilities with his best mate, he was glad to hear that she'd been keeping him company.

It wasn't the sort of company from women that Sirius generally gravitated towards - but it was good for him, James thought, to have a friend like her. Who he could...shamelessly and fruitlessly flirt with. Rely on. Joke with. But he just knew that there was a connection deeper than that between the two of them, which had come out at their last hurrah the other night. A harmless game of truth-or-date had turned into James innocently prompting them to kiss; he wished he'd had a camera on him to capture the stunned look on Sirius' face as the girl actually did it. No questions asked.

If he knew his best mate one bit, he'd been thinking about that kiss. Likely in a should've-been-better way, as he hadn't responded with his usual verve, so shocked as he'd been. There was just one slight hiccup in his need to get them to realize how daft they were being, though - Guin. Specifically, her tendency to hook up with Sirius regularly. Which was fine as James knew the two of them had an agreement, neither wanting anything serious, but if Sirius was able to have a physical relationship with a girl as lively and lovely as Guin, would he be too distracted to want a relationship relationship with Willa? He had an inkling that the innocent Huffle wouldn't be throwing herself into bed with him without some sort of commitment, and Sirius hadn't actually dated anybody exclusively. Ever.

Convincing him to drop that habit...would not be a quick and easy thing.

James was pulled out of his wingmanish thoughts at Remus' quite words and Lily's response, and he was glad to see her brightening. Before he could respond, Sirius had sat up and laughed, rather sarcastically replying. James gave him his own Really look, but he'd turned to Willa - who picked up his slack without dropping a beat. Thankfully Doe piled on, although she had to bring up the saddening thought of her still being with Arnold by the time the summer ended. Why his friend was so attached to the Ravenclaw student was beyond him - the fellow was not only a child, but also not very pleasant, and Doe deserved only the best. And it's not like she couldn't get another boyfriend in a flash if she wanted. Remus and Charlotte were a different story - not that he thought badly of his mate, of course not, but he needed to keep this girl. It was the first one he'd wanted to take this sort of chance with, and if there was ever any doubt, James wasn't going to let him give that up. But James nevertheless put on a comforting look as he turned to her. "No worries, Doe," he said, giving her a grin, "we'll save you both seats. It's a great idea, will make it a fun day for all of us."

A little late to her cue - he'd been thinking of her minutes ago, come on - Guin slid open the door to their compartment, a big smile on her face as she did so. He gave her a grin of welcome, but her face fell, however, as she took in the look of them - in true Guin fashion she plopped onto Sirius' lap, offering her bag of candies and giving Remus a flirty look. Well, flirty, but that was the Gryffindor girl's playful MO, which he usually loved...perhaps it was her mention of Arnie combining with his prior thoughts about getting Sirius together with the slightly more demure girl that was irking him. Or he really was suppressing negative emotions he should feel about leaving Hogwarts, and the girl's sudden appearance was bringing them out. He exchanged a look with Sirius - as well as he could around the bubbly Guin - at her words about the Ravenclaw joining them, and Doe being just so glad of it. He was such a nuisance, honestly...

"Bringing this one home, Guin - meet up at the Leaky this week, though?" he asked, trying to pump himself back up. "Post-grad drunken night of frivolity?"

[Remus Lupin]

Remus smiled softly at Lily's words. It was kind of her to consider him in the manner that she did, but he wasn't surprised. Lily was a kind person, and she was good for James. Even if certain other members of their friends didn't necessarily agree. It certianly lifted his spirits to hear his other friends voicing their agreement with the idea. He nodded with Doe's words, a small smile crossing his face at the mention of Charlotte. "Yea, I'm going to drop her off at the train that morning," he replied. Before he could continue, however, they were joined by the lovely, and often too much for Remus to handle, Guin.

He liked her, well enough, but sometimes he didn't know how to handle her. He did however, take the candy bag he was offered. Chocolate was something that he could rarely turn down. "Thank you Guinevere." He helped himself to the chocolate frogs, letting the conversation continue around him. Half of the compartment was upset, and the other was perfectly fine. It was a strange situation, and there was a large part of him that simply wanted to go find Charlotte and spend some time with her. They had agreed for her to come over in a few weeks after school.

"As much fun as a party sounds, I think I'll have to pass. Mum's been sick again so I need to take care of her for a few days. However, I'm sure you will all have fun for me," he added. Truth was, it was almost time for the next full moon and he was beginning to feel the effects of missing his potion. He knew James and Sirius would want to come with him, but this time he was intent on doing it by himself. A task that could go many different ways.

[Deleted]

In all her years at Hogwarts, which were now over, Lily had never hoped that Sirius Black would warm up to her. She was happy meeting his broody stubbornness with a resolute sternness. While she may agree with his rebellion against his all too toxic family, he seemed to be taking something out on everyone that wasn’t the marauders. Girls were there to release his sexual tensions. Classmates were there to beat on and bully. Professors were there to undermine authority. Lily was never a “target” for flirting. Lily had been picked on. Lily had been Prefect and Head Girl. In every perspective Lily Evans and Sirius Black were never meant to get along.

Neither, had Lily believed, were her and James. As suddenly as that relationship had changed, it seemed like her and her boyfriend’s best mate were meant to eternally clash. Just because Remus was one of her best friends and Peter was simply glad that everything had worked out in James’ favor, that didn’t mean that Sirius was going to be thrilled. Or even, apparently, somewhat amicable. Even Willa’s presence didn’t seem to warm Sirius’ cold demeanor towards her. His friendship was something that Lily was going to have to earn. He didn’t know exactly how much respect for him Lily had garnered through Remus’ and James’ accounts of him, and it wasn’t like he granted her the time of day to show him. He was either nowhere to be found, or not so subtly fooling around with Guin. When he was around without her, he had a way of making Lily feel unwelcome or like she was on trial.

She would have preferred if he did it with words. Words she could fight with. But the glares and anything but subtle frustration with her very presence was off-putting. She had turned to everyone but James for help, but their responses were all varying forms of “just give him some time.” If he had tried to befriend her, all of his attempts were eerily similar to how things were playing out now. In a word… poorly.
James seemed to maybe making up for her melancholy with more than usual over the top goofiness. All anyone could do was smile at her and give platitudes. Lily didn’t want to bring down the high of having just graduated. Everyone seemed to be in the mood to leave the reality of it to later. They were still under the auspices of Hogwarts while on the train, after all. At James’ assurance that he would be the one in her place within the week Lily avenged Willa’s ticklish side and gave James’ a squeeze. As always he was trying just a shade too hard.
It was not helping matters with Sirius.

James’ childlike grin and words were meant just for her, but Lily was painfully aware of their audience.All he wanted to do though was lighten the mood, and Lily was on board with that, having been the one who plummeted the mood into dramatics. His casual arm around her, however, reminded the usually unshakable redhead that she had absolutely nothing to prove. She leaned into the embrace and patted Willa’s arm. Looking around at her friends all amused at her show of emotion, Lily knew she wasn’t alone. Nor would she ever abandon these friends she had made. She would safeguard them, yes even Sirius, with all her might.

With her head resting in the crook of James’ neck it was hard not to feel defensive. At some level Sirius was right, Lily had far from condoned for her past behavior. It was easy to see how he may construe the entire series of events as Lily’s final victory of transforming James into a functioning member of society. That was hardly her plan. Besides Dumbledore was the one who had ultimately given James the kick in the butt that he needed to take prioritize. Unfortunately, it had all meant considerably less time spent together with his best friend. But at least her presence didn’t stop him from having fun with the rest of the group. She smiled quietly as Sirius stretched out across Peter and Dorcas.

Doe used her seeker reflexes to push Sirius’ foot out of her face. Peter hardly knew what to do with himself, or the frame of his friend that was now stretched out over him. Even seven years in the poor boy sometimes seemed at a loss with how to handle his best mates. Lily hid her grin behind her hand, chuckled and pushed past the regret that this could have been her Hogwarts experience all along. She met Dorcas’ eyes and raised her brows, dropping the hand to reveal the grin.

The tone in Remus’ voice seemed to pull Sirius out of the devil-may-care moment. Lily knew that he wasn’t a heartless bastard like she had always made him out to be, but confined in a train compartment with the boy and his sullen vibes towards her could make one forget that. Remus seemed to be the linchpin that kept Lily from totally dismissing befriending Sirius as a lost cause. His sudden laugh made the crestfallen redhead puff up and she was about to stand up for herself when… wait did he say that it was a good idea… he must be joking… No… Was he actually rubbing his neck sheepishly? Lily looked to Willa for a translation of the look that he was giving her. All she did was smile and chuckle…. Lily was going to take that as a good sign. then back to Sirius. The room had gone silent, waiting for her reaction.

“Thanks…” She knew she sounded skeptical, but it seemed like this might be a step forward.

Suddenly, everyone was putting in their two cents. It made Lily feel like she had really become a functioning part of this group. Doe had nearly always been around, but they had never been more than passing friends until recently. Willa and Remus had become people that Lily found herself depending on. They were an inseparable part of her getting her act together and were perpetually supportive. Peter had simply happened into her life when Lily had begun the process of reconciling with Potter. Sirius, as always, had been an unwilling participant in the ongoing James Potter/Lily Evans hysterics, and seemingly the only loose end Lily still had to work on. Speaking of… her boyfriend seemed to glow at her suggestion.

Before Lily could assure Remus and Doe that they would be more than welcome to come late, James jumped in. Lily nodded and sat up, weight lifted from her heart. “It should be an all day affair after all. We could have a sweets trolley and…” As Lily began to brainstorm out loud the door swung open and the veritable tornado of animated lightheartedness that was Guin sauntered in and draped herself over the now upright Sirius Black.

Having just put aside her surliness Lily couldn’t resign herself to answer the bombastic brunette. Speaking of the sweets cart, her former roommate had raided it quite thoroughly. Sweets was just what this group needed. Again, however, Lily kept quiet. While they had been roommates, the ex-Head Girl had never figured out how to communicate with Guin. It was no wonder that her and Sirius got on so well. Then again there were other things the pair had in common. Such as an appetite for each other.

Lily knew that Willa was still reeling from the Benjii situation, but there was just some kind of feeling of rightness that Lily got when thinking of Willa and Sirius together. Outside of that, Lily decided to focus on Guin as Dorcas’ best friend not as Sirius’… whatever she was. Hearing that Arnie was coming brightened Doe as nothing else could and Lily was happy for her. She had nothing against the Ravenclaw, like the young man currently absentmindedly running his thumb up and down her side. Truth be told, on paper Arnie and Doe were mismatched but that hardly accounted for the simple way that they clicked. Lily had constantly reminded James of that as he had raged. Most of the time that reminder ended in snogging, which adequately took the boys mind off of the matter until the next time the topic came up.

While Lily and Guin weren’t close, there was just something about her demeanor that was contagious. She gave Doe a knowing wink and elbowed James inconspicuously as he made one of his faces at Sirius. Again James seemed to speak for her before she could even form the words. While Guin’s invitation was tempting, even Lily Evans liked a night out, her and James had agreed to have some alone time to unwind after the feverish last few weeks. There were so many open indefinite questions just laying out in front of them. Lily wasn’t sure if their fledgling romance could survive what she needed to tell him about her decisions for the future. Survival in general was uncertain. Although, if there was anyone she wouldn’t put it past to outlive the turbulence brewing it was James Potter. How would her determination to fight, however, factor into that? She felt like such a liability to his well-being He obviously wouldn’t see it that way, but what good was dedicating only part of herself the Order? And by absolutely no means was Lily going to sit back and let James and her friends fight the good fight from behind her books. A career could wait. Full security could wait. Living a normal life could wait. Lily Evans was finally going to put her over-sized intellect to good use.

[Deleted]

To say that he was pleased by Willa’s laugh would be an understatement. They hadn’t spent enough time together this year – Merlin you sound like a girl – and his skin prickled at the knowledge that he could still get a rise out of her like this. Sirius lifted his eyebrows slightly as her look shifted, and while he thought it was wicked that she had stepped in after his comment to Evans, he wasn’t all too sure about the way she was looking at him – like she was proud of him for some bloody reason. What're you playing at Robbins?

But he wasn’t fast enough in figuring it out – the look her had been puzzling over changed as her face fell. She was clearly sad or mad – Merlin knew he couldn’t tell the difference when it came to Willa Robbins – but before he could suggest they walk down the corridor, find the Trolley or something, he found himself a mite distracted by a certain leggy brunette’s entrance. A smile slid onto his face as she made herself comfortable on his lap and automatically lightened the mood in the cabin. And she came bearing snacks too – amazing girl.

They had been hooking up a lot more than usual - ever since he had told her about Dory’s Dragon Pox back in April actually – and everyone knew it, so with one hand sliding up her thigh and with the other slowly around her waist he pulled her closer to him. Sirius waited out the general responses to her offer, pretty pleased that so many of his mates were declining. He grinned as he brought his lips closer to her ear and whispered, “You and I can probably have a better time alone you know.”

All too soon, Guin was letting Doe know about Peaselbody showing up and not caring who saw it, he exchanged a look with James. Would the two of them just break up already so that they could all go back to having a blast like they used to? The sod had dated Daisy once before - no doubt prolonging the time it took for her and Pete to get together – and now he was going after Dorcas and holding her back from the bloke that she was probably meant to end up with! Sirius was starting to think the kid was obsessed with them – especially the way he was running around attempting to best them prank wise. It was time he got it through his head that the Marauder’s would always win. And if they didn't then they weren't going to give in and get to know him.